Techie fired for inventing an acronym – and accidentally applying it to the boss
On Call A tale of how a PEBCAK became a CLE
On-Prem17 Mar 2023 | 182
On Call
What is on call?
On Call means you are expected to handle support or service calls for your employer, typically outside of normal working hours. For example, you may be on call to keep systems up and running during a weekend. The hours you are on call are ordinarily arranged ahead of time with bosses and colleagues. Emergencies and poor planning can cause staff to find themselves on call with little or no notice.
On Call is also our weekly column of tales from readers working in the IT field. Their stories describe times when they've had to deal with weird, tricky, or baffling problems or requests for help. Email our team via oncall@theregister.com if you want to contribute a yarn - we love reading your stories.
Duelling techies debugged printer by testing the strength of electric shocks
On Call Even a hundred-volt jolt couldn’t convince one of them that hardware was the problem
On-Prem10 Mar 2023 | 107
Service desk tech saved consultancy Capita from VPN meltdown, got a smack for it
On Call Maybe he shouldn’t have built a naughtily-named website where users could get the fix?
Networks03 Mar 2023 | 81
PC tech turns doctor to diagnose PC's constant crashes as a case of arthritis
On Call Customer with a magnetic personality also had a significantly magnetic wristband
Personal Tech24 Feb 2023 | 216
If you have a fan, and want this company to stay in business, bring it to IT now
On Call It ain’t half hot in the datacenter when an errant aircon engineer leaves the tech team to take the heat
On-Prem17 Feb 2023 | 143
What's up with IT, Doc? Rabbit hole reveals cause of outage
On-Call Who would willingly chews a 6:00AM Sunday callout?
On-Prem10 Feb 2023 | 164
No, you cannot safely run a network operations center from a corridor
On Call Rack full of kit predictably became a network disruption center
Off-Prem03 Feb 2023 | 83
User was told three times 'Do Not Reboot This PC' – then unplugged it anyway
On-Call Even with instructions staring them in the face, this genius couldn't get it right
Software27 Jan 2023 | 156
New IT boss decided to 'audit everything you guys are doing wrong'. Which went wrong
On Call Pet consultant took down the datacenter in attempt to find other people's errors
Systems20 Jan 2023 | 178
This can’t be a real bomb threat: You've called a modem, not a phone
On-Call Security was nonetheless very, very, interested in hearing this comms engineer tell his tale
Security13 Jan 2023 | 177
Cleaner ignored 'do not use tap' sign, destroyed phone systems ... and the entire building
On Call The natural enemy of the IT pro is the builder – they’ll cover you in dust, hose you down, or worse
On-Prem06 Jan 2023 | 160
An IT emergency during a festive visit to the in-laws? So sorry, everyone, I need to step out for a while
On-Call Sometimes bringing your work laptop on a trip pays off
Storage30 Dec 2022 | 65
Don't lock the datacenter door, said the boss. The builders need access and what could possibly go wrong?
On Call For one thing, an ignorant user could shut down all of IT
On-Prem23 Dec 2022 | 82
Server broke because it was invisibly designed to break
On Call Cause of weeklong outage was under tech support's nose – but not on their mind
Systems16 Dec 2022 | 172
Boss installed software from behind the Iron Curtain, techies ended up Putin things back together
On Call Comrade offered 'monitoring' tool to keep an eye on the workers
Security09 Dec 2022 | 51
Two signs in the comms cabinet said 'Do not unplug'. Guess what happened
On Call No amount of resilience planning can defeat determined idiots whose devices are low on battery
Security02 Dec 2022 | 236
Boss broke servers with a careless bit of keyboarding, leaving techies to sort it out late on a Sunday
On Call Keeping things tidy is a thankless but critical task
On-Prem25 Nov 2022 | 140
IT manager's 'think outside the box' edict was, for once, not (only) a revolting cliché
on call Products tend to work best once removed from their packaging
Personal Tech18 Nov 2022 | 96
Go ahead, be rude. You don't know it now, but it will cost you $350,000
On Call You'd think tech support people would stick together …
Storage11 Nov 2022 | 356
Hot, sweaty builders hosed a server – literally – leaving support with an all-night RAID repair job
On Call Extension cords are good for power. Extension tubes? Not so good for air
On-Prem04 Nov 2022 | 95
No, I will not pay the bill. Why? Because we pay you to fix things, not break them
On Call Just because the client touches a computer doesn’t make a mess their fault
On-Prem28 Oct 2022 | 266
To make this computer work, users had to press a button. Why didn't it work? Guess
On Call We'd say this was a clear case of RTFM but this rig was so simple it didn't have a manual
On-Prem21 Oct 2022 | 279
Senior engineer reported to management for failing to fix a stapler
On Call The demarcation line between IT and stationery is not electricity, but the line between dumb and nasty clearly starts at staplers
Personal Tech14 Oct 2022 | 219
No, working in IT does not mean you can fix anything with a soldering iron
On Call What’s worse than absurd support requests at work? Ridiculous requests at home, that’s what
Personal Tech07 Oct 2022 | 245
Fixing an upside-down USB plug: A case of supporting the insupportable
On Call Support chap braved fire and a mile-long run, only to find Windows 95 was the final hurdle
Personal Tech30 Sep 2022 | 217
Datacenter migration plan missed one vital detail: The leaky roof
On Call Some drip forgot to tell the designers until the renovation had begun
On-Prem23 Sep 2022 | 153
Keeping printers quiet broke disk drives, thanks to very fuzzy logic
On Call In the 1970s, everything was carpeted. Even, rather problematically, the storage array's air filter
Storage16 Sep 2022 | 125
Using the datacenter as a dining room destroyed the platters that matter
On Call In the military facility, vermin sniffed out a destructive secret
On-Prem09 Sep 2022 | 82
Terminal downgrade saves the day after a client/server heist
On Call When the PCs were pilfered by ram raiding rotters, green screens proved their worth
Personal Tech02 Sep 2022 | 140
Doctor gave patients the wrong test results due to 'printer problems'
On Call The diagnosis? Ignorance is bliss, but educating users is hell
On-Prem26 Aug 2022 | 170
Mouse hiding in cable tray cheesed off its bemused user
On Call Who knows where all those cables go anyway?
Systems19 Aug 2022 | 139
Be careful where you install software, and who installs it
On Call I have bigger problems than where you put our code
Software05 Aug 2022 | 88
Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked
On Call We would have got away with it too, if hadn't been for your perfectly reasonable user request
Columnists29 Jul 2022 | 174
We've got a photocopier and it can copy anything
On Call Hang on a minute. I've got a great idea
On-Prem22 Jul 2022 | 196
Dev's code manages to topple Microsoft's mighty SharePoint
On Call And the app still runs... to this day
Applications15 Jul 2022 | 192
This is the military – you can't just delete your history like you're 15
On Call Not all tracks can be hidden and some things can't be unseen
Personal Tech08 Jul 2022 | 171
NOBODY PRINT! Selfless hero saves typing pool from carbon catastrophe
On Call Why would you make carbon copies with a laser printer?
Networks01 Jul 2022 | 232
The perfect crime – undone by the perfect email backups
On Call And we would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for you meddling geeks!
Storage24 Jun 2022 | 206
How one techie ended up paying the tab on an Apple Macintosh Plus
On Call Oh my word, do you remember MacWrite? It just works, right?
Applications10 Jun 2022 | 169
That time a techie accidentally improved an airline's productivity
On Call Mainframe muddle means extra crossword time for today's hero
Applications03 Jun 2022 | 176
When management went nuclear on an innocent software engineer
On Call It says 'Do Not Touch,' not 'Rip Out My Guts'
Software27 May 2022 | 263
Seriously, you do not want to make that cable your earth
On Call Network? What's that when it's at home?
Columnists20 May 2022 | 250
We can bend the laws of physics for your super-yacht, but we can't break them
On Call Make it work like it does at home
Networks13 May 2022 | 242
Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout
On Call Leftover bits of wire where PC used to be? Really ties the office together
Networks06 May 2022 | 252
Your software doesn't work when my PC is in 'O' mode
On Call Code so clever it is like perpetual motion. In C++
Personal Tech29 Apr 2022 | 172
Not to dis your diskette, but there are some unexpected sector holes
On Call Doing the floppy fandango
Storage22 Apr 2022 | 204
You can buy a company. You can buy a product. Common sense? Trickier
On Call Taking the Metal Mickey as customer complains that none of the equipment works
On-Prem15 Apr 2022 | 81
Buying a USB adapter: Pennies. Knowing where to stick it: Priceless
On Call Back up your data, it's later than you think
Personal Tech08 Apr 2022 | 228
The time you solved that months-long problem in 3 seconds
On Call Behold the rarest of IT skills: Tact and diplomacy
Networks01 Apr 2022 | 180
Help, my IT team has no admin access to their own systems
On Call Looks like a job for ... Spotting the Obvious man! (I see you baby, shaking that mouse)
Systems25 Mar 2022 | 207
Client demo in 30 minutes. Just what could go wrong?
On Call DNS means Do Not Shove under desk
Networks18 Mar 2022 | 94
We have redundancy, we have batteries, what could possibly go wrong?
On Call Practise makes... less than perfect
On-Prem11 Mar 2022 | 180
Saving a loved one from a document disaster
On Call The Words are Perfect, the keyboard action less so
Applications04 Mar 2022 | 178
Your app deleted all my files. And my wallpaper too!
On Call The program is Fast, the sales team is Furious, and their data is definitely not Expendable
Applications25 Feb 2022 | 167
File suffixes: Who needs them? Well, this guy did
On Call He followed the instructions... blindly
Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 206
Real-time software? How about real-time patching?
On Call For those times when being On Call means more than just cycling the power
Software11 Feb 2022 | 126
No, I've not read the screen. Your software must be rubbish
On Call Dialog? What dialog?
Applications04 Feb 2022 | 212
Bouncing cheques or a bouncy landing? All in a day's work for the expert pilot
On Call Sure, you can program an autopilot but will you be defeated by a Dell?
Personal Tech28 Jan 2022 | 144
Why should I pay for that security option? Hijacking only happens to planes
On Call But if I give him my bank details, I'll be rich!
Security21 Jan 2022 | 69
Software guy smashes through the Somebody Else's Problem field to save the day
On Call Stay in your lane? Or check for a shoddy connection job?
Networks14 Jan 2022 | 178
Nothing's working, and I've checked everything, so it must be YOUR fault
On Call Yes, but are you sure? Really sure?
Columnists07 Jan 2022 | 164
You've stolen the antiglare shield on that monitor you've fixed – they say the screen is completely unreadable now
On Call Scrub-a-dub-dub, we work in a fug
Personal Tech31 Dec 2021 | 161
Biting the hand that feeds IT
