Beta driver turned heads in the hospital
On Call A portrait of one medico's contorted digital landscape
Personal Tech29 Sep 2023 | 84
On Call
What is on call?
On Call is the name of The Register's weekly column featuring tales from readers who are designated as being "On Call" - meaning they are required to handle support or service calls outside of normal working hours. For example, staff may be on call to provide support over the weekend, and are required to carry the tools needed to provide support and ensure they are in a condition to do so (which means staying sober!). Organizations usually create rosters so that someone is always on call to provide support. Those rosters are created so that organizations can handle emergencies.
The On Call column features stories of our readers being asked to deal with weird, tricky, or baffling problems or requests for help when they were on call. The column always welcomes new contributions - email our team via oncall@theregister.com if you want to contribute a tale.
How is this problem mine, techie asked, while cleaning underground computer
On Call If you throw enough mud, some of it will stick … and crash a server
Systems22 Sep 2023 | 213
Techie labelled 'disgusting filth merchant' by disgusting hypocrite
On Call For once, the boss rescued IT from a revolting customer
Offbeat15 Sep 2023 | 100
PEBCAK problem transformed young techie into grizzled cynical sysadmin
On Call Banks aren't very creative, which became an issue for one customer
Software08 Sep 2023 | 143
I'll see your data loss and raise you a security policy violation
On Call Engineer trumped angry user by pointing to the rulebook
Storage01 Sep 2023 | 204
Windows screensaver left broadcast techie all at sea
On Call A Love Boat story that almost didn't have a happy ending
Offbeat25 Aug 2023 | 71
BROADER TOPICS
Resilience is overrated when it's not advertised
On Call Successful failover can sometimes be a failure
On-Prem18 Aug 2023 | 128
Lock-in to legacy code is a thing. Being locked in by legacy code is another thing entirely
On Call Welcome to the coding couch. We hope you sleep well
Software11 Aug 2023 | 117
How to get a computer get stuck in a lift? Ask an 'illegal engineer'
On Call Settle in for a weighty story with plenty of gravity
On-Prem04 Aug 2023 | 162
The choice: Pay BT megabucks, or do something a bit illegal. OK, that’s no choice
On Call We’ve dipped into the mailbag for more tales of rogue cabling and keyboard confusion
Networks28 Jul 2023 | 122
Douglas Adams was right: Telephone sanitizers are terrible human beings
On Call This one cleaned things up so well that signals couldn't get through
Networks21 Jul 2023 | 179
Bizarre backup taught techie to dumb things down for the boss
On Call Response to taking out the trash rubbished a reputation
Sysadmin Month14 Jul 2023 | 258
Nobody does DR tests to survive lightning striking twice
On Call When our reader found this out, he learned even heavenly bolts can't defeat lawyers
On-Prem07 Jul 2023 | 124
Quirky QWERTY killed a password in Paris
On Call Quelle tragédie – techie had to visit the city of lights twice to sort this one out
Security30 Jun 2023 | 315
Techie wasn't being paid, until he taught HR a lesson
On Call It's one thing to have a twin – quite another to have an EVIL twin
Offbeat23 Jun 2023 | 366
False negative stretched routine software installation into four days of frustration
On Call You’d think vendors would know when their products are working – not this one
Software16 Jun 2023 | 148
Boss put project on progress bar timeline: three months … four … actually NOW!
On Call Change approval board signed off as soon as it heard it was BT's fault
Networks09 Jun 2023 | 77
Cunningly camouflaged cable routed around WAN-sized hole in project budget
On Call Leaf and spine networks aren't the only way to make a connection with nature
Networks02 Jun 2023 | 138
That old box of tech junk you should probably throw out saves a warehouse
On Call When all seemed lost, here comes the Sun … workstation
On-Prem26 May 2023 | 189
Cheapest, oldest, slowest part fixed very modern Mac
On Call Making different generations of tech work in harmony sometimes requires a strange dance
Personal Tech19 May 2023 | 164
Is there anything tape can’t fix? This techie used it to defeat the Sun
On call In cloudy Yorkshire, a ray of light can become the enemy
Personal Tech12 May 2023 | 125
Datacenter fire suppression system wasn't tested for years, then BOOM
On Call Jumping Jack had a gas, gas, gas when his wires crossed at the worst moment
On-Prem05 May 2023 | 163
Shocks from a hairy jumper crashed a PC, but the boss wouldn't believe it
On Call As bizarre tales of tech support go, this may be the GOAT
Personal Tech28 Apr 2023 | 165
Thanks for fixing the computer lab. Now tell us why we shouldn’t expel you?
On Call Guessing the admin password is cool. Using it, even for good, is dangerous
Security21 Apr 2023 | 151
Automation is great. Until it breaks and nobody gets paid
On Call An ill-considered cron job turned into a nasty 2AM job
Software14 Apr 2023 | 76
Techie called out to customer ASAP, then: Do nothing
On Call Service level agreement should really specify services, not just arrivals
Software07 Apr 2023 | 104
Uptime guarantees don't apply when you turn a machine off, then on again, to 'fix' it
On Call The chap who took the support call for the SEV-1 incident survived – just
Storage31 Mar 2023 | 121
Errors logged as 'nut loose on the keyboard' were – ahem – not a hardware problem
On Call Five developers named Bob were not good at their jobs
Software24 Mar 2023 | 187
Techie fired for inventing an acronym – and accidentally applying it to the boss
On Call A tale of how a PEBCAK became a CLE
On-Prem17 Mar 2023 | 191
Duelling techies debugged printer by testing the strength of electric shocks
On Call Even a hundred-volt jolt couldn’t convince one of them that hardware was the problem
On-Prem10 Mar 2023 | 108
Service desk tech saved consultancy Capita from VPN meltdown, got a smack for it
On Call Maybe he shouldn’t have built a naughtily-named website where users could get the fix?
Networks03 Mar 2023 | 84
PC tech turns doctor to diagnose PC's constant crashes as a case of arthritis
On Call Customer with a magnetic personality also had a significantly magnetic wristband
Personal Tech24 Feb 2023 | 218
If you have a fan, and want this company to stay in business, bring it to IT now
On Call It ain’t half hot in the datacenter when an errant aircon engineer leaves the tech team to take the heat
On-Prem17 Feb 2023 | 143
What's up with IT, Doc? Rabbit hole reveals cause of outage
On-Call Who would willingly chews a 6:00AM Sunday callout?
On-Prem10 Feb 2023 | 165
No, you cannot safely run a network operations center from a corridor
On Call Rack full of kit predictably became a network disruption center
Off-Prem03 Feb 2023 | 83
User was told three times 'Do Not Reboot This PC' – then unplugged it anyway
On-Call Even with instructions staring them in the face, this genius couldn't get it right
Software27 Jan 2023 | 156
New IT boss decided to 'audit everything you guys are doing wrong'. Which went wrong
On Call Pet consultant took down the datacenter in attempt to find other people's errors
Systems20 Jan 2023 | 178
This can’t be a real bomb threat: You've called a modem, not a phone
On-Call Security was nonetheless very, very, interested in hearing this comms engineer tell his tale
Security13 Jan 2023 | 178
Cleaner ignored 'do not use tap' sign, destroyed phone systems ... and the entire building
On Call The natural enemy of the IT pro is the builder – they’ll cover you in dust, hose you down, or worse
On-Prem06 Jan 2023 | 160
An IT emergency during a festive visit to the in-laws? So sorry, everyone, I need to step out for a while
On-Call Sometimes bringing your work laptop on a trip pays off
Storage30 Dec 2022 | 65
Don't lock the datacenter door, said the boss. The builders need access and what could possibly go wrong?
On Call For one thing, an ignorant user could shut down all of IT
On-Prem23 Dec 2022 | 82
Server broke because it was invisibly designed to break
On Call Cause of weeklong outage was under tech support's nose – but not on their mind
Systems16 Dec 2022 | 172
Boss installed software from behind the Iron Curtain, techies ended up Putin things back together
On Call Comrade offered 'monitoring' tool to keep an eye on the workers
Security09 Dec 2022 | 51
Two signs in the comms cabinet said 'Do not unplug'. Guess what happened
On Call No amount of resilience planning can defeat determined idiots whose devices are low on battery
Security02 Dec 2022 | 236
Boss broke servers with a careless bit of keyboarding, leaving techies to sort it out late on a Sunday
On Call Keeping things tidy is a thankless but critical task
On-Prem25 Nov 2022 | 139
IT manager's 'think outside the box' edict was, for once, not (only) a revolting cliché
on call Products tend to work best once removed from their packaging
Personal Tech18 Nov 2022 | 94
Go ahead, be rude. You don't know it now, but it will cost you $350,000
On Call You'd think tech support people would stick together …
Storage11 Nov 2022 | 350
Hot, sweaty builders hosed a server – literally – leaving support with an all-night RAID repair job
On Call Extension cords are good for power. Extension tubes? Not so good for air
On-Prem04 Nov 2022 | 95
No, I will not pay the bill. Why? Because we pay you to fix things, not break them
On Call Just because the client touches a computer doesn’t make a mess their fault
On-Prem28 Oct 2022 | 263
To make this computer work, users had to press a button. Why didn't it work? Guess
On Call We'd say this was a clear case of RTFM but this rig was so simple it didn't have a manual
On-Prem21 Oct 2022 | 278
Senior engineer reported to management for failing to fix a stapler
On Call The demarcation line between IT and stationery is not electricity, but the line between dumb and nasty clearly starts at staplers
Personal Tech14 Oct 2022 | 218
No, working in IT does not mean you can fix anything with a soldering iron
On Call What’s worse than absurd support requests at work? Ridiculous requests at home, that’s what
Personal Tech07 Oct 2022 | 245
Fixing an upside-down USB plug: A case of supporting the insupportable
On Call Support chap braved fire and a mile-long run, only to find Windows 95 was the final hurdle
Personal Tech30 Sep 2022 | 214
Datacenter migration plan missed one vital detail: The leaky roof
On Call Some drip forgot to tell the designers until the renovation had begun
On-Prem23 Sep 2022 | 153
Keeping printers quiet broke disk drives, thanks to very fuzzy logic
On Call In the 1970s, everything was carpeted. Even, rather problematically, the storage array's air filter
Storage16 Sep 2022 | 125
Using the datacenter as a dining room destroyed the platters that matter
On Call In the military facility, vermin sniffed out a destructive secret
On-Prem09 Sep 2022 | 82
Terminal downgrade saves the day after a client/server heist
On Call When the PCs were pilfered by ram raiding rotters, green screens proved their worth
Personal Tech02 Sep 2022 | 139
Doctor gave patients the wrong test results due to 'printer problems'
On Call The diagnosis? Ignorance is bliss, but educating users is hell
On-Prem26 Aug 2022 | 169
Mouse hiding in cable tray cheesed off its bemused user
On Call Who knows where all those cables go anyway?
Systems19 Aug 2022 | 138
Be careful where you install software, and who installs it
On Call I have bigger problems than where you put our code
Software05 Aug 2022 | 88
Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked
On Call We would have got away with it too, if hadn't been for your perfectly reasonable user request
Columnists29 Jul 2022 | 174
We've got a photocopier and it can copy anything
On Call Hang on a minute. I've got a great idea
On-Prem22 Jul 2022 | 192
Biting the hand that feeds IT
