Who, Me? Oh good, you fixed it. Now, if you could just put your head on that plate...
18 Jan 2021
Pop quiz: You've got a roomful of electrical equipment. How do you put out a fire?
Who, Me? Careful with that rack, Eugene
11 Jan 2021
Server won't boot? Forgot to make that backup? Have no fear, just blame Microsoft
Who, Me? Everything is Windows' fault. Even when it really isn't
04 Jan 2021
Windows might have frozen – but at least my feet are toasty
Who, Me? Not quite what we meant by Halt and Catch Fire
21 Dec 2020
Cruise, Kidman and an unfortunate misunderstanding at the local chemist
Who, Me? I'm ready for my close-up, Mr Kubrick
14 Dec 2020
A 1970s magic trick: Take a card, any card, out of the deck and watch the IBM System/370 plunge into a death spiral
Who, Me? Who is the debugger that took down my mainframe?
07 Dec 2020
For every disastrous rebrand, there is an IT person trying to steer away from the precipice
Who, Me? The Cassandra of 1980s tech: Doomed to warn, but never be heeded
30 Nov 2020
It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons
Who, Me? Remember the days when 'we made it up as we went along'?
23 Nov 2020
Panic in the mailroom: The perils of an operating system too smart for its own good
Who, Me? That other 1973 hit: The Dark Side of the Mainframe
16 Nov 2020
The day I took down the data centre- I mean, the day I saved the day. Right, boss?
Who, Me? How many hundred thousand customers?
09 Nov 2020
You only live twice: Once to start the installation, and the other time to finish it off
Who, Me? International adventure, crafty customs, and what not to pack in the hand luggage
02 Nov 2020
A cautionary tale of virtual floppies and all too real credentials
Who, Me? Only a complete banker would map that to... oh dear...
26 Oct 2020
Quick thinking and an explanation for everything – key CTO qualities
Who, Me? You thought that presentation would be dull as styrofoam flavoured water when...
19 Oct 2020
Excel is for amateurs. To properly screw things up, those same amateurs need a copy of Access
Who, Me? Beware the wrong tool in the wrong hands
12 Oct 2020
A decades-old lesson on not inserting Excel where it doesn't belong
Who, Me? A Register reader's sense of déjà vu triggers a bonus column
07 Oct 2020
Big IQ play from IT outsourcer: Can't create batch files if you can't save files. Of any kind
Who, Me? Be careful what you wish for
05 Oct 2020
Inflated figures and customers who were never there. Just another data migration then
Who, Me? Well, this is awkward
28 Sep 2020
We don't need maintenance this often, surely? Pull it. Oh dear, the system's down
Who, Me? You've been visited by the Don Corleone of code
21 Sep 2020