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Automatic UK-to-US English converter produced amazing mistakes by the vanload
Who, Me? Yard of Eden just doesn't have the right ring to it
Software19 May 2025 | 155
Who, Me?
What is Who, Me?
Who, Me? is a weekly column in which our readers confess to catastrophes they created in the pursuit of IT excellence - and usually managed to get away with.
The column is a light-hearted look at the world of work and tech.
We're always open to new stories we can feature in Who, Me? If you have one to tell, drop an email to whome@theregister.com to anonymously own up to tech mess you caused.
So your [expletive] test failed. So [obscene participle] what?
Who, Me? It was acceptable in the '80s
Software12 May 2025 | 90
Teens maintained a mainframe and it went about as well as you'd imagine
Who, Me? Fake it till you make it doesn't cut it for mission-critical workloads
Columnists05 May 2025 | 95
What the **** did you put in that code? The client thinks it's a cyberattack
Who, Me? When your customers work in super-sensitive situations, bad jokes make for bad business
Software28 Apr 2025 | 134
Developer scored huge own goal by deleting almost every football fan in Europe
Who, Me? Fiddling with the production database – what could possibly go wrong?
Databases21 Apr 2025 | 71
Static electricity can be shockingly funny, but the joke's over when a rack goes dark
Who, Me? If this techie had been older and slower, this never would have happened
On-Prem14 Apr 2025 | 117
BROADER TOPICS
Dev loudly complained about older colleague, who retired not long after
Who, Me? The graybeard wasn't doing a great job and morale improved once he left. How would you handle this?
Columnists07 Apr 2025 | 132
Tech trainer taught a course on software he'd never used and didn't own
Who, Me? 'I'm glad you asked that question. We'll get to that tomorrow' (After I research the answer)
Networks31 Mar 2025 | 177
After three weeks of night shifts, very tired techie broke the UK’s phone network
Who, Me? And got away with it when someone else broke it even more comprehensively
On-Prem24 Mar 2025 | 81
Developer wrote a critical app and forgot where it ran – until it stopped running
Who, Me? What comes after testing in the software development lifecycle? Aaah, never mind ... let's skip to maintenance
Applications17 Mar 2025 | 55
Junior techie rushed off for fun weekend after making a terminal mistake that crashed a client
Who, Me? Using one green screen to manage multiple machines needs more than a Friday afternoon brain
On-Prem10 Mar 2025 | 40
Techie pulled an all-nighter that one mistake turned into an all-weekender
Who, Me? Don’t trust your tired self to do rm -rf right
Software03 Mar 2025 | 65
Untrained techie botched a big hardware sale by breaking client's ERP
Who, Me? 'If I wasn't already taking blood pressure meds, I'm sure I would not have survived'
Columnists24 Feb 2025 | 51
Techie pointed out meetings are pointless, and was punished for it
Who, Me? When asked to offer honest feedback, maybe pause to ponder how well you play office politics
On-Prem17 Feb 2025 | 133
Does this thing run on a 220 V power supply? Oh. That puff of smoke suggests not
Who, Me? That's not even the worst part of this story, which features a flood, broken promises, and plenty of panic
Personal Tech10 Feb 2025 | 148
CompSci teacher sets lab task: Accidentally breaking the university
Who, Me? Hey! Teacher! Leave our network alone!
Networks03 Feb 2025 | 53
Tired techie botched preventative maintenance he soon learned wasn't needed
Who, Me? Epic late-night road trip would have been awesome if not for a secret change of plans
Personal Tech27 Jan 2025 | 70
Developers feared large chaps carrying baseball bats could come to kneecap their ... test account?
Who, Me? A whole different kind of 'technical debt' turned into real-world trouble
Columnists20 Jan 2025 | 91
Life lesson: Don't delete millions of accounts on the same day you go to the dentist
Who, Me? Or ignore documentation that warns you are about to do something dangerous
Databases13 Jan 2025 | 65
Brackets go there? Oops. That’s not where I used them and now things are broken
Who, Me? Weird syntax AND/OR a junior techie can be very bad for business
Devops06 Jan 2025 | 82
Coder wrote a bug so bad security guards wanted a word when he arrived at work
Who, Me? Working for a startup is supposed to end with getting rich overnight, but not like this
Software16 Dec 2024 | 164
Panic at the Cisco tech, thanks to ancient IOS syntax helper that outsmarted itself
Who, Me? Misplaced shortcut led to communication breakdown
Networks09 Dec 2024 | 72
NetAdmin learns that wooden chocks, unlike swipe cards, open doors when networks can't
Who, Me? Burglary skills are surprisingly important when building networks
Networks02 Dec 2024 | 95
Network engineer chose humiliation over a night on the datacenter floor
Who, Me? To avoid lock-in, it helps if you remember your keys
On-Prem25 Nov 2024 | 55
The sad tale of the Alpha massacre
who, me? Those old operating systems had awesome power – you had to be careful wielding it
Systems11 Nov 2024 | 81
Relocation is a complete success – right up until the last minute
Who, Me? It may be a cliché to say 'Don't rest on your laurels' but you really shouldn't
On-Prem04 Nov 2024 | 117
I made this network so resilient nothing could possibly go wro...
Who, Me? All the redundancy in the world can't help a 'brown trouser' mistake
Networks28 Oct 2024 | 103
Linux admin asked savvy scientist for IT help and the boffin blew it
Who, Me? In science, every day is about testing hypotheses. Such as: 'plugging this thing in here is OK, right?'
Networks21 Oct 2024 | 93
Compression? What's that? And why is the network congested and the PCs frozen?
Who, Me? The only thing worse than a Reply All storm is a Send All storm
Software14 Oct 2024 | 101
After we fix that, how about we also accidentally break something important?
Who, Me? You had one job – doing extra is nice, but dangerous
Networks07 Oct 2024 | 102
Personalized pop-up was funny for about a second, until it felt like stalking
Who, Me? The call was coming from inside the house
Software30 Sep 2024 | 77
Did you hear the one about the help desk chap who abused privileges to prank his mate?
Who, Me? The result was no joke, thanks to a Microsoft glitch
On-Prem23 Sep 2024 | 92
I don't know what pressing Delete will do, but it seems safe enough!
Who, Me? You've got mail … actually no, you've got nothing
Software16 Sep 2024 | 103
Python script saw students booted off the mainframe for sending one insult too many
Who, Me? Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
Software09 Sep 2024 | 96
Techie made a biblical boo-boo when trying to spread the word
Who, Me? The technology was willing, but the cache was weak
Software02 Sep 2024 | 61
Bargain-hunting boss saw his bonus go up in a puff of self-inflicted smoke
Who, Me? Buying PCs off the gray market can (literally) blow up in your face
Personal Tech26 Aug 2024 | 154
Developer tried to dress for success, but ended up attired for an expensive outage
Who, Me? Debugging software on the waterfront is a strangely dangerous task
Columnists19 Aug 2024 | 160
Cigarette break burned out a huge chunk of Africa's internet
who, me? A fake hacker trying to take credit didn't help much, either
Networks12 Aug 2024 | 66
Hello? Emergency services? I'd like to report a wrong number
Who, Me? 911 is no joke
Networks05 Aug 2024 | 115
Never put off until tomorrow what someone could erase today
Who, Me? When even tape can't save you, procrastination is a problem
Storage29 Jul 2024 | 48
Facebook prank sent techie straight to Excel hell
Who, Me? When someone kicks a chair across the room out of fear they'll be fired it's stopped being funny
Software22 Jul 2024 | 123
There is no honor among RAM thieves – but sometimes there is karma
Who, Me? Techie left spitting chips made sure the boss was, too
Offbeat15 Jul 2024 | 98
Outback shocker left Aussie techie with a secret not worth sharing
Who, Me? That's not an outage … that's an outage
Off-Prem08 Jul 2024 | 171
An arc welder in the datacenter: What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me? Not much if wielded by the experienced and careful operator in this story – but he was not the only actor in this tale
On-Prem01 Jul 2024 | 160
Admin took out a call center – and almost their career – with a cut and paste error
Who, me? Have you heard the one about the techie who forgot what was on the clipboard?
Cyber-crime24 Jun 2024 | 54
Techie installed 'user attitude readjustment tool' after getting hammered in a Police station
Who, Me? Measure twice, trust never
On-Prem17 Jun 2024 | 129
Seething CEO shoulder surfed techie after mistaken takedown of production server
Who, Me? What's in a name? Quite a bit, it turns out, when 50 servers all have the same one
Software10 Jun 2024 | 75
Screwdrivers: is there anything they can't do badly? Maybe not
Who, Me? We're starting to wonder if any of you know what those things are actually for
On-Prem03 Jun 2024 | 232
A thump with the pointy end of a screwdriver will fix this server! What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me? No, nothing’s broken. I’m just working under this desk for … reasons
On-Prem27 May 2024 | 112
Techie invented bits of the box he was fixing, still botched the job
Who, me? This is why all-nighters are a bad idea
Storage20 May 2024 | 73
One bank's brilliant upgrade was another bank's crash
who, me? Who's the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?
Offbeat13 May 2024 | 44
Techie's enthusiasm for decluttering fails to spark joy
Who, me? Thankfully, luck – and a handy greybeard – came to the rescue
Columnists06 May 2024 | 57
Software support chap survived breaking his customer
Who, Me? Sometimes there's more than enough blame to go around
Software29 Apr 2024 | 89
Rarest, strangest, form of Windows saved techie from moment of security madness
Who, Me? For once, Redmond's finest saved the day – by being rubbish in unexpectedly useful ways
Security22 Apr 2024 | 93
Tired techie 'fixed' a server, blamed Microsoft, and got away with it
who, me? If you're too exhausted to think, maybe you shouldn't be doing tech support
On-Prem15 Apr 2024 | 66
Windows 95 support chap skipped a step and sent user into Micro-hell
Who, Me? Every byte, and executable, counted when trying to fix Redmond's finest
OSes08 Apr 2024 | 81
You break it, you ... run away and hope somebody else fixes it
Who, Me? Enthusiastic young tech decided to simplify the mainframe, with unexpected results
On-Prem01 Apr 2024 | 63
DBA made ten years of data disappear with one misplaced parameter
Who, Me? Greybeards thought it was clever, making this an educational experience in more ways than one
Databases25 Mar 2024 | 41
Yes, I did just crash that critical app. And you should thank me for having done so
Who, Me? Quick thinking turned poor judgement into genius proactivity
Software18 Mar 2024 | 76
Intern with superuser access 'promoted' himself to CEO
Who, Me? Older and wiser colleagues couldn’t see the funny side
Software11 Mar 2024 | 64
Health system network turned out to be a house of cards – Cisco cards, that is
who, me? Pride came before a fall for techie who thought he knew it all
Networks04 Mar 2024 | 57
If we plug this in without telling anyone, nobody will know we caused the outage
Who, Me? The whole incident could have been avoided by spending some spare change on a fastener
On-Prem26 Feb 2024 | 69
Biting the hand that feeds IT
