Bork!Bork!Bork! What is Geordie for bork?

Gazing into the void for at least a few more years yet

Patch your devi... oh, hang on a sec

Launches open tender for new £60m deal

Someone at West Midlands Trains approved nasty cybersecurity drill

This early-stage project is not a fork, Redmond insists

Suggests terabyte-packing servers that move data at astounding speed aren’t far off

And just like that, the Digital Yuan has its route into the mainstream

No breakthroughs left to make in electronics, says CEO as company eyes off IPO-by-SPAC

Black Hat Asia Another auto-exploit saw rPi push Telegram messages over CAN bus to brick a car

But won’t reveal who it wants banned from social media over less obvious disinformation

Blames spam filters for brownout, warns fix could be 'disruptive'

Internet souk said it only approved 6% of new sellers

Boffins will have to wait until September 2023 to get their hands on the goodies

Freely available to use, from the hardware schematics to RISC-V cores on an FPGA, to the firmware on top

Kubecon But we heard the message loud and clear – it's pretty much the standard runtime platform now

In Brief Plus: Google boffin who resigned over AI ethics controversy, joins Apple

Analysis Really, three years should be the bare minimum at this point

5.10 lifespan also extended to six years, up from two

Should cover the cost of the air leaking out of the Russian segment

Rust/WinRT moniker consigned to the garbage collection

Securities advisor passes note setting potential date for snipping of Snapdragons to investors

Rocket marks 10th successful launch and landing, though Dogecoin's descent was a little rougher

Will deal make goods, services less competitive? Regulator wants to hear from interested parties

In brief Plus: Student cripples EU bio lab and IRS goes after cryptocurrency

Much of the OSS world is critically underfunded yet critically important

Top dog Neo4j just wouldn't scale, says car giant's data boss

Column It'll do great things in the future, just don't impose timeframes on when

Updated Also we fixed SS7 use by British telcos. How? Why? Not saying

Who, Me? It soothed this raging roomful of wannabe lawyers anyway

Logowatch Azure icon gets the Fluid Design treatment

Promo Register now for Pure//Accelerate Digital 2021

Dev team doesn’t have necessary hardware, and even if they could afford it eBay is empty

At least you won’t have to check in with a QR Code

Long March 5B lands 45km from the Maldives

Trump-era Executive Order gets China Telecom, China Unicom, and China Mobile kicked off bourse

Updated Oil transport by road allowed after Colonial Pipeline goes down, operator says recovery is under way but offers no recovery date

Video NASA records, shares sound of Ingenuity drone on Mars, like we're in some kind of sci-fi flick

'Elon's tweet does not match engineering reality' states poorly redacted report

Antisocial giant insists 'Help keep FB free of charge' messaging is merely educational

But beware lock-in-as-a-service, analyst warns

Plus: NCSC warns of how hostile powers may exploit smart city infrastructure

Biz expected 4,000 signups, got 60,000, system couldn't cope

Totally Sucks, Buddy: Debit payments held up since April, online and app still wobbly, say readers

Updated Software giant vows data processing of EU cloud services to stay in EU, which means that currently...

I thought we were friends

Move comes days after firm acquired by Muse Group

Just four years to go before planned switch-off

Bork!Bork!Bork! A reminder of golden Start Menu days

Bug of the week Now that's what we call a Buffett overflow error

We're nicer in person, we swear

Something for the Weekend, Sir? No lessons learned from (literally) decades of media format wars

'Discriminatory or harassing conduct will not be tolerated'

Black Hat Asia Algos guiding self-driving cars don’t expect to see a STOP sign next to food. So if someone put a pic showing apples at a busy intersection ...

On Call I'll talk you through the steps... oh sh-

Satellite shootdown test still causing operational and diplomatic hassles after 14 years

You know the drill: shake your head in disbelief, then figure out if patching will wipe out a weekend or be merely inconvenient

Black Hat Asia Asia is already short millions of trainees; expert warns talent pipeline will dry up in response to government snooping

Why are you giving yourself a kick in the innovation economy?

Developers want to do this, says Google. Ummm ... guys, you do remember the thousands of malware nightmares you’ve hosted and sold?

'There is scant evidence to support manufacturers’ justifications for restrictions'

World Password Day returns to remind us how much passwords suck

Coming to a computer near you ... this decade ... maybe

While some teen generated 7.7m bogus pro-NN notes to US broadband regulator

Wanna find out if your employee has had a shot? Just lob her postcode and DoB into this website

Official CPython is slow, but there are many ways to get better performance

Good thing researchers spotted it, no evidence of exploit in the wild

Free breakfast, lunch and dinner? Listening to Ryan Reynolds talk shit? Massages for gratis? Why the hell wouldn't they return

Microsoft Xbox exec called up to explain differences with gaming console

They were not the cloud we were looking for, says DoD in brief to Supreme Court

Among the findings, WPF remains most-used desktop framework despite years of promotion for UWP

(Almost) Why? Kickstarter and nostalgia of those who have forgotten the pain

Default passwords, no updates, and your data's flowing through these

Please insert tape number 363 of 4087*

Event There are so many reasons to join us next week at our tip-top DevOps conference, get your ticket now

Graphic images On the other hand he was fine

Updated Whoever came up with the SWEEP acronym can have a job at El Reg

What a time to be alive

Terms and conditions apply

Video There was just a little fire. But not enough to worry anybody

Black Hat Asia Trio claim database queries can lead to remote code execution

For everyone else, get back to work and ordering those Amazon Prime deals

UPDATE Whatever the source, remote code execution possible on vRealize Business for Cloud – which knows a lot about your private and public platforms

Code for the Baidu Apollo brains of the service is yours for the taking on GitHub, too

Counterfit automatically creates adversarial inputs to find weaknesses

Antisocial giant dismisses chat app rival's 'stunt' in escalating war of words

30% of employees reportedly walked out following sudden rule change

Seriously, it's time to move on

New Spark 3.0 connector will appeal to users too, analyst says

Nearly 4 million to be exact, say researchers

Add yet another Chromium browser to your collection

Looks like you can safely ignore that friend request... forever

'Was a Mailchimp sub too hard?!' asks Reg reader

Crossing the chasm into mainstream computing

Used the GitHub Codecov Action? Credentials may have been pilfered

The bug: IF Tier = Free THEN PRINT "Can we offer you an upgrade?"

Neural networks can be aimed to misbehave when squeezed

Geek's Guide to Britain Planning a post-lockdown trip to the isle off England's south coast? Don't miss the interesting bits

Which is a lot of money for this crap

Redshift, Cloudera among preferred platforms, but after 7 years Big Red's system refuses to die

Majority aren't GDPR compliant and Google Play categorises them badly, leading to lax practices

Covid Logfile II Tales from less-conventional bunkers at the height of the pandemic

India wanted five global players. And it got only five applications from qualifying companies

We speak to IT outsourcing giants as human malware grips nation

Government department wants carriers to facilitate testing of homegrown tech for India-specific use cases

Military coup creates such a nasty environment it’s hung up on $780 million of assets

Plus: Register.com, Network Solutions DNS down and Cloudflare has a wobble