Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'm not the robot, pal, you are

On Call Let me draw a picture for you

SONIC the, er, edge... hog?

Whatever happened to cloud being a super way to preserve cashflow?

Made-in-Xinjiang feedstock for solar panels and semiconductors is under scrutiny

No word on what this means for Android Go or Android One, but Indian mega-carrier Jio is excited about over-the-air updates, Google Assistant and more

Systems Approach A technical yet demystifying dive into networking tech you can’t avoid

We're looking forward to the late 21st-century colony wars

Sponsored Trace the journey through all those microservices in the background

Plan to reinvent advertising turns out to be more difficult than expected

Well, it's a start

No one wants to be pwned by a drive-by RCE

Throws a bone to complex enterprise deployment, too

These are networks that are not dragged down by LTE core

The operating system they said shouldn't exist

Great powers clash while the rest of us sigh and tut at data feed meddling

Full instructions given away for free, to 'nurture natural curiosity'

With this app, I thee stalk

Security procedures need documenting, improving, and mandating - though they're better than they used to be

Even in a shipboard COVID lockdown, chowing down on ailing cabin boys is apparently no longer a thing

Sponsored Time to focus on people, not just SLAs

But the hair dye market isn't about to implode, there are limits

Pet parents asked to fork over £75 for the privilege, though

Chocolate Factory proposes common interchange format for vulnerability data

Updated That's £3.50 per GB for anything over 25GB

Register Debate Containers are visitors from hyperscale-land. They should respect your ways when you invite them in

Going backwards to the future

Colour Coat accused of lying, being rude and aggressive, and hanging up on cold-call victims

For the 3% who craved sweet and sour pork balls, it might be time to stop drinking

Meanwhile, Porterbrook's Hydroflex trials continue

Attack on an internal system shouldn't put customers at risk, biz claims

Deploying the ultimate stateful code in a stateless environment is a 'tricky business' IDC guru opines

Allows cloud PABXs, VPNs, and data sharing, so that locals can participate in multinational workflows

If only it were that easy

Admins given a whole month to sort it out. Choose wisely — after July 23rd, users won't be told what's happening

New rules kick in for small businesses on July 1 and, despite three years’ warning, the government still sees a need for extra support

Tablets also flattened as punters resume spending on real-world fun

Perhaps instrument-halting failure is due to compute and interconnect hardware, not memory, after all

We got hacked and we'll be right back, duo said ... two months ago

Sponsored Scalable, secure and reliable networks ease digital learning transitions

It has to take action on takedowns though, prelim ruling on long-running Sarah Brightman spat finds

And if that doesn't work, terrorism or satanic panic next?

IT managers told when punished Chromebooks are about to die

British-American infosec renegade faced trial in America for tax evasion

Suit may be filed as soon as next week

Bank of England flies pride flag as it launches new note

Looks to improve the simplicity with which such things are shared

Smaller physical footprint to tempt carriers needing to build out 5G

Boffins looking for changes to cephalopods' symbiotic relationship with bioluminescent bacteria on ISS

Next up, the rocket stage to send mannequin to the Moon

MPs and activists join forces to fight 'dangerous' legal threat

The Special Relationship in the form of Android foldables

Fast, easy to implement, and knocks attacks like Spectre on the head – what's the catch?

Access Now #KeepItOn campaign thinks that’s a very bad idea

Register Debate Once you can only buy the apps you need as containers, it’s game over

Huge shift in working patterns continues into next year, according to the all-seeing eye of... Gartner

El Reg hacks selflessly volunteer to taste-test before and after

It managed to pay a bit more tax too, which is nice

Second public meeting threatened unless dot-UK registry plays ball

Judge rules in Chocolate Factory's favour during prelims of 2015-era case

Yeah, y'know, Google Glass wasn't nearly obnoxious enough

For every buck you spend in the Big Red cloud, Larry gives you 25c to spend on support

Pre-installation of Play Store and other apps on Smart TVs and Androids amounts to leveraging dominance, says watchdog

Give it a year or two, but it will happen, says CEO, as COVID-crushed industries start spending again

Local carrier Airtel will adopt it — next comes world domination

Developer hits back at researchers’ ‘hypothetical approach’

New approach coming next year ... when complaints have died down

It's a crook-eat-crook world out there

Updated Anonymous US intelligence sources: Yes, we did it

US markets watchdog sniffs around potential insider trading, data violations relating to hack

Promo Unlock its potential at The Nutanix Database Summit

Now that Pat's got his feet under the table, time to shuffle the chairs

Study finds a whole sea of outdated third-party libraries

I node what you'll do in summer 2023

Even just to remind the world there's life beyond Google and DuckDuckGo

Summer Solstice: A time for dancing, druids, and certificate errors

French regulator can probably help having already fined megacorp €220m

Astronomers and amateur star gazers will be delighted

Who are they expecting to fight? Thor? Godzilla? Sea snails?

Updated Government Accountability Office warns of build-your-own-booster delays

Making computer components is a dirty business

Updated Multi-hour outage and customers left in the dark

HPE Discover For those times when you run software on a box bigger than your license

That's. Just. Great

As ever, the devil is in the detail for privacy activists

Horse Creek platform to 'showcase' new 64-bit P550 processor engine

The 'S' in 'IoT' stands for 'security'

Register Debate Never bet against a technology that has matured over decades

Maybe turn your phone off if you don't fancy a 'loud, siren-like noise'

TIGRR threatens to bounce through unacceptable changes to the rules

Exclusive Yet spy agency overseer IPCO seems to be working as the public hoped

Review Not ideal for when you rejoin colleagues in the office

Feature Don’t take no for an answer, but be prepared to give it.

No word on whether top brass considered just shelling them into submission

Poll Picking street signs from a matrix of images is out, cleverer challenges are OK

Promo Join this webinar and take control of your multi-cloud future

Code behind LoTR, Planet of the Apes and other flicks wrapped around Autodesk Maya

Korean giant sees bots as helping it become ‘Smart Mobility Solutions Provider’

Crackdown on global giants comes as UN criticises content takedown rules

All depends on whether your workload is making a lot of system calls or not

Let's just check BTC-USD, oh yeah, waaay down

File was supposed to be private. It was not. And it was out in the open for months

Sponsored Speed to market must not come at expense of security, visibility and control

Hope no one's created guest networks called '%Free %Coffee at %Starbucks'

In brief Plus: Impact of ransomware payments, CVS database not secured

Belgian firm must produce the IP addresses of BitTorrent users

Ragnarök and roll: Release Candidate boasts significant improvements on 0.3

Joins queue of regulators peeking into iOS walled garden model

It needs 'resources, mentors, and programs ... at scale, anywhere'

We're looking at you, Uncle Sam

It's the longest day of the year

We are hiring a FOSS expert who can pick apart a cloud giant's latest API

Register Debate No more managing operating systems and monolithic apps? Where do I sign!

Updated Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Bork!Bork!Bork! Memory is not the only thing leaking from Windows

Feature Let’s talk procedures. Plus: Are you dealing with errors in a way that leaves room for people to own up to them?

Column From point release to pointless release

President blames China for blocking government purchases as tech titans say they'll find five million doses

Who, Me? The pain in Spain comes mainly from a lack of training

NASSCOM says industry has already weathered the worst automation has to offer, but may use different definitions of where jobs are at risk

Promo Network invaders haven't stopped learning ... have you?

Think tank says inconsistencies in story were not a cover-up — just a mistake from “working-level staff”

Minister lashes avian network and suggests its legal protections may have been removed

Company conspired with government to make life hard for activist foreign investors

It's a Jersey thing, you wouldn't understand

In brief Plus: Canon has cameras that only let employees into meeting rooms if they smile, and more