Bootnotes
Reading El Reg while working from home? Here's a pleasant thought: Kaspersky says 1 in 10 of you are naked right now
Those daily Zoom calls just got worse
09 Dec 11:25 | 77
Bootnotes
Updated
PSA: The 2020 monolith is a dead meme. You can stop putting them up now. Please
Some of us actually have work to do
08 Dec 13:06 | 71
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Next day delivery a bit of a pain? We have just the thing... nestled deep in the terms and conditions
For those teeny, tiny, migraine-inducing nuts and bolts
08 Dec 11:00 | 22
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Windows on Wheels is back, though the truck has come to a standstill, much like the OS
Not sure what it's supposed be saying but it probably isn't 0x00000050
07 Dec 11:30 | 18
Bootnotes
Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets
Good to see the youth being productive
04 Dec 15:29 | 124
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Wireless screen in estate agent window just begging for someone to fill it with mischief
At last, a chance for a random phone-toting passer-by to show their quality
04 Dec 09:30 | 21
Bootnotes
Where's the mysterious metal monolith today then? Oh look, it's atop a California mountain
Is this some kind of sick game of alien whack-a-mole?
03 Dec 11:07 | 88
Bootnotes
Glastonbury hippy shop Hemp in Avalon rapped for spouting 'plandemic' pseudoscience
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
02 Dec 13:01 | 129
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Bristol's bus stops can run Chrome and Internet Explorer, but no, Windows and public transport do not mix well
Bus stop / Bus goes / What's crashed? / Windows
02 Dec 11:29 | 20
Bootnotes
Scotch eggs ascend to the 'substantial meal' pantheon as means to pop to pub for a pint during pernicious pandemic
Meanwhile, landlord reckons he's found a loophole in coronavirus restrictions by naming beer 'Substantial Meal'
01 Dec 13:47 | 118
Bootnotes
Uri Geller calls off 20-year ban on Pokémon trading card that 'stole' his 'signature image'
What a spoon
30 Nov 12:30 | 54
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Behold the drive-thru of the California Highway Patrol: Fry me a river, has 'CHIPS' stopped working again?
You didn't want fries with that, did you?
30 Nov 11:06 | 31
Who, Me?
For every disastrous rebrand, there is an IT person trying to steer away from the precipice
The Cassandra of 1980s tech: Doomed to warn, but never be heeded
30 Nov 08:15 | 146
Poll
Mysterious Utah monolith mysteriously disappears without trace
‘Removed by an unknown party’ says Bureau of Land Management
30 Nov 06:58 | 99
Bootnotes
Netflix chooses its own judgment in 'Bandersnatch' case: Settle and make the nasty lawsuit go away
Maybe next time Brooker can choose to write a proper Black Mirror episode
26 Nov 14:10 | 24
Bootnotes
Ad banned for suggesting London black cabs have properties that prevent the spread of coronavirus
'It's like being in my own bubble back here'
25 Nov 13:30 | 73
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Mall of duty: Black Ops. No, you're not a customer, you're just an ad audience metric
Quis custodiet ipsos bork-es?
25 Nov 11:05 | 17
Bootnotes
Considering the colonisation of Mars? Werner Herzog would like a word
Famed director dispenses a reality check for wannabe Martians
25 Nov 10:02 | 141
Poll
Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah
Authorities warn aliens to get a permit before they do this sort of thing
25 Nov 04:02 | 184
Bootnotes
Frenchman who wanted to 'smash a guy's face in' fined €135 – despite correctly filling out paperwork stating why he left home during lockdown
'In his own way, he was trying to fulfil the letter of the law' says cop
23 Nov 18:25 | 35
Popular
Personal Tech
Apple fires warning shot at Facebook and Google on privacy, pledges fight against 'data-industrial complex'
Offer does not apply in China
Software
CentOS project changes focus, no more rebuild of Red Hat Enterprise Linux – you'll have to flow with the Stream
Founder talks of plans for independent distro 'rebuild'
Security
Cybersecurity giant FireEye says it was hacked by govt-backed spies who stole its crown-jewels hacking tools
Not a great look
Security
Court orders encrypted email biz Tutanota to build a backdoor in user's mailbox, founder says 'this is absurd'
Plus: Yet another UK.gov bod demands end-to-end encryption is broken
Patch Tuesday
Patch Tuesday brings bug fixes for OpenSSL, IBM, SAP, Kubernetes, Adobe, and Red Hat. And Microsoft, of course
Light load from Redmond as everyone else seeks to bury bad news, sorry, align in update cadence
Updated
Apple appears to be charging Brits £309 to replace AirPods Max batteries, while Americans need only stump up $79
Typo? We've asked, but... well, y'know
Security
EU Medicines Agency hacked, BioNTech-Pfizer coronavirus vaccine paperwork stolen, probe launched
Regulatory submissions for COVID-19 jab candidate 'unlawfully accessed'
Security
Bitter war of words erupts between UK cops and web security expert over alleged flaws in Cyberalarm monitoring tool
Pervade Software's product isn't perfect but neither is the police response to security concerns
Personal Tech
The Huawei Mate 40 Pro is so mired in strangely hardy glue that the display shattered during iFixit's teardown
Don't drop this one
Security
Oblivious DoH, OPAQUE passwords, Encrypted Client Hello: Cloudflare's protocol proposals to protect privacy
'Adopting these may have legal and policy implications'
STORIES
Bootnotes
Snap decision: 74-year-old Florida man wrests puppy from jaws of alligator
And both lived to tell the tale
23 Nov 14:37 | 38
Bootnotes
'Unmute' named one of Oxford Dictionary's words of the year
Stop doomscrolling through Blursday and take a Workation
22 Nov 23:17 | 30
Reg Standards Bureau
One does not simply shove elephants on a ballet shoe point and call it an acceptable measure of pressure
Thou shalt not devise thine own cursed metrics, we decree
20 Nov 17:10 | 73
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Software running on demo licence? At least one patty pusher is Lovin' It
The last time we saw one of these was in February. Things haven't gone well since then
20 Nov 12:22 | 12
Bootnotes
Billionaire's Pagani Pa-gone-i after teen son takes hypercar out for a drive, trashes it
These things cost over $3m new
19 Nov 13:14 | 125
Bootnotes
Alleged Ponzi mastermind on the run from FBI hid in lake with sea-scooter, collared after he surfaced half-hour later
Suspect left a trail of bubbles for agents to follow
18 Nov 08:32 | 41
Bootnotes
Reports of one's death have been greatly exaggerated: French radio station splurges obituary bank over interwebs
Come to think of it, has anyone checked in with the Queen lately?
17 Nov 12:20 | 45
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Windows 10 installation shows shopping centre its sad face – the natural response to finding out you're in Peterborough
Watch as we effortlessly segue from BSODs to hovertrains
17 Nov 09:30 | 21
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Need a hobby for lockdown? Perhaps check out the CMOS battery
There are no tags today, but there will always be bork
12 Nov 11:00 | 11
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Windows 10 quite literally projects its deepest, darkest fears on to New Zealand
It may have escaped the worse of coronavirus, but no one is immune to bork
09 Nov 09:30 | 9
Bootnotes
Elon Musk's ancient April Fools' gag about 'Tesla Tequila' made real in lightning-shaped bottle
At $250 for 750ml, the joke’s on buyers who bought the whole batch in hours
06 Nov 07:36 | 49
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Super-antique-fragile-and-it's-XP-alidocious, even though the sight of it is something quite atrocious
A most uneXPected visitor: Windows cling-on spotted by Reg reader Discovery crew member
05 Nov 09:30 | 48
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Remember 2013? This coffee machine does: If I could turn back time – I'd reboot this PC
I'd take back that bork that hurt you, or drink tea....
30 Oct 20:20 | 30
The RPG
Luke Skywalker used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 on Tatooine. But Star Wars: Squadrons misses the mark
Sadly, the space opera franchise's first proper starfighter game in yonks just isn't that good
30 Oct 17:22 | 39
Bork!Bork!Bork!
SNAFU: Clairvoyant train brings warning of what was coming down the line for 2020
Situation: The New Normal?
27 Oct 10:44 | 24
Bork!Bork!Bork!
IKEA Croydon (FYI: that's a place in outer London, not a type of DIY cabinet) likes things in pairs, from chimneys to bork
The site may be getting on a bit, but the Windows fail is bang up to date
26 Oct 09:30 | 24
Bootnotes
What a time to be alive: DB Admin raps about Microsoft SQL Server and he ain't even paid to do so
It's 2020. Things are weird. So maybe it's time to dance alone to 'Back Dat NAS up'
23 Oct 17:10 | 6
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Ho hum: If you're so artificially intelligent, name this song while my videos go viral
My careful plan to save the economy
23 Oct 09:28 | 49
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Fancy a steaming portion of Kentucky Fried Bork? A fingerlickin' flub that's pure poultry in motion
Greasy goodness plays havoc with a PC's disk
23 Oct 08:30 | 24
