Beware the ghost of operating systems past: In which our hero is visited by an old friend
12BoC A reminder that XP was both frugal and prone to falling over
05 Jan 2021 | 16
Bootnotes
Suckers for punishment, we added a crawler transporter to our Saturn V
Doing lockdown with bags and bags of Chinese plastic bricks
05 Jan 2021 | 42
Pick an end, any end: Lost that critical Christmas cable? We know how you feel
12BoC 'You are fettered,' said Scrooge, trembling. 'Tell me why?'
02 Jan 2021 | 7
Sun, sea and sad signage: And lo, they saw a shining light in the sky... oh, it's a BIOS error
12BoC Santas sled of bork comes to Lanzarote
01 Jan 2021 | 11
All I want for Christmas is cash: Welsh ATMs are unbeatable. Or unbootable. Something like that
12BOC Carpark sorrow as Windows failed to cough booty
31 Dec 2020 | 33
No amount of Glasgow handshaking will revive this borked kiosk
12BoC To pay for parking you must first sign in to Windows 10
29 Dec 2020 | 41
Roma, we've had un problema: When every flight's final destination is a date with Windows Boot Manager
12BoC 'People got angry. Employees disappeared. Children started to cry'
26 Dec 2020 | 26
Cyberpunk 2077: There's a great game within screaming to get out, but sadly it was released 57 years too early
The RPG Over-promised, under-delivered, and plays like an alpha – try again later
25 Dec 2020 | 77
What's that lurking behind the borked face of finance? Windows, of course
Bork!Bork!Bork! Rule number one of sausage club: never ask what goes into the sausage
22 Dec 2020 | 21
Atlantic City auctions off chance to hit Big Red Button and make grotesque Trump Plaza casino go boom
Can we do Trump Tower next?
18 Dec 2020 | 64
Larry Ellison says he's not following Oracle to Texas, prefers his private Hawaii pad
It's great being king
15 Dec 2020 | 31
Tim Cook 'killed' TV project about the one website Apple hates more than The Register
Only joking – we're surely still below Gawker in his estimations
14 Dec 2020 | 76
You've got to be shipping me: KatherineRyan.co.uk suggests the comedian has diversified into freight forwarding
We know 2020 has been hard on the standup circuit, but really?
11 Dec 2020 | 36
Reading El Reg while working from home? Here's a pleasant thought: Kaspersky says 1 in 10 of you are naked right now
Those daily Zoom calls just got worse
09 Dec 2020 | 78
PSA: The 2020 monolith is a dead meme. You can stop putting them up now. Please
Updated Some of us actually have work to do
08 Dec 2020 | 72
Next day delivery a bit of a pain? We have just the thing... nestled deep in the terms and conditions
Bork!Bork!Bork! For those teeny, tiny, migraine-inducing nuts and bolts
08 Dec 2020 | 24
Windows on Wheels is back, though the truck has come to a standstill, much like the OS
Bork!Bork!Bork! Not sure what it's supposed be saying but it probably isn't 0x00000050
07 Dec 2020 | 18
Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets
Good to see the youth being productive
04 Dec 2020 | 123
Wireless screen in estate agent window just begging for someone to fill it with mischief
Bork!Bork!Bork! At last, a chance for a random phone-toting passer-by to show their quality
04 Dec 2020 | 21
Where's the mysterious metal monolith today then? Oh look, it's atop a California mountain
Is this some kind of sick game of alien whack-a-mole?
03 Dec 2020 | 87
Glastonbury hippy shop Hemp in Avalon rapped for spouting 'plandemic' pseudoscience
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
02 Dec 2020 | 129
Bristol's bus stops can run Chrome and Internet Explorer, but no, Windows and public transport do not mix well
Bork!Bork!Bork! Bus stop / Bus goes / What's crashed? / Windows
02 Dec 2020 | 20
Scotch eggs ascend to the 'substantial meal' pantheon as means to pop to pub for a pint during pernicious pandemic
Meanwhile, landlord reckons he's found a loophole in coronavirus restrictions by naming beer 'Substantial Meal'
01 Dec 2020 | 120
Uri Geller calls off 20-year ban on Pokémon trading card that 'stole' his 'signature image'
What a spoon
30 Nov 2020 | 54
Behold the drive-thru of the California Highway Patrol: Fry me a river, has 'CHIPS' stopped working again?
Bork!Bork!Bork! You didn't want fries with that, did you?
30 Nov 2020 | 31
For every disastrous rebrand, there is an IT person trying to steer away from the precipice
Who, Me? The Cassandra of 1980s tech: Doomed to warn, but never be heeded
30 Nov 2020 | 146
Mysterious Utah monolith mysteriously disappears without trace
Poll ‘Removed by an unknown party’ says Bureau of Land Management
30 Nov 2020 | 99
Netflix chooses its own judgment in 'Bandersnatch' case: Settle and make the nasty lawsuit go away
Maybe next time Brooker can choose to write a proper Black Mirror episode
26 Nov 2020 | 24
Ad banned for suggesting London black cabs have properties that prevent the spread of coronavirus
'It's like being in my own bubble back here'
25 Nov 2020 | 72
Mall of duty: Black Ops. No, you're not a customer, you're just an ad audience metric
Bork!Bork!Bork! Quis custodiet ipsos bork-es?
25 Nov 2020 | 17
Considering the colonisation of Mars? Werner Herzog would like a word
Famed director dispenses a reality check for wannabe Martians
25 Nov 2020 | 142
Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah
Poll Authorities warn aliens to get a permit before they do this sort of thing
25 Nov 2020 | 184
Frenchman who wanted to 'smash a guy's face in' fined €135 – despite correctly filling out paperwork stating why he left home during lockdown
'In his own way, he was trying to fulfil the letter of the law' says cop
23 Nov 2020 | 35
Snap decision: 74-year-old Florida man wrests puppy from jaws of alligator
And both lived to tell the tale
23 Nov 2020 | 40
'Unmute' named one of Oxford Dictionary's words of the year
Stop doomscrolling through Blursday and take a Workation
22 Nov 2020 | 30
One does not simply shove elephants on a ballet shoe point and call it an acceptable measure of pressure
Reg Standards Bureau Thou shalt not devise thine own cursed metrics, we decree
20 Nov 2020 | 73
