Who, Me?
'We're changing shift, and no one can log on!' It was at this moment our hero knew server-lugging chap had screwed up
Where's the DHCP box? It's behind y... oh heck
11 May 07:15 | 75
Servers
Servers
Server sales went through the roof in the first three months of 2020. Enjoy it while it lasts, Dell, HPE, and pals
Enterprise demand set to soften, offset tier-two cloud, telco sales
07 May 07:01 | 1
Sponsored
Intel builds servers. Who knew and why is it important for you?
Get differentiating. Get competing
29 Apr 06:00 |
Who, Me?
Dumpster diving to revive a crashing NetWare server? It was acceptable in the '90s
Broken pencil + ball of stolen Blu Tack = IT joy
27 Apr 07:15 | 107
Servers
Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style
Who, Me?It looks like you need some pepperoni and cheese. Do you want some help with that?
20 Apr 07:15 | 190
Servers
AMD takes another crack at Intel's server stronghold with more Epyc silicon
All 'the working from home and virtual desktops' might make you think about data center rebuilds, hmm?
14 Apr 13:00 | 12
Servers
Welcome to the telco, we've got fun and games: BT inks 5-year deal to outsource mainframe management to IBM
Exclusive - updatedYou lot can keep the blinkenlights flashing but you'll have to be TUPEd from BT...
01 Apr 15:00 | 35
Servers
Gods of cloud smiled on Chinese server makers in Q4, as mainframe punters chucked a big bone at IBM
Oh to be at the mercy of tech buyers at AWS, Microsoft, Facebook, Google, Tencent, Alibaba... we could go on
19 Mar 10:45 | 3
Servers
Ampere's server chip has 80 Arm CPU cores? Yeah, well, our ThunderX3 will have 96 with 384 threads, says Marvell
Plus: Intel ditches forthcoming Cooper Lake single, dual-socket 14nm Xeons from its roadmap
18 Mar 08:04 |
Servers
Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean
On CallA Hoover-dunnit for your Friday morning
13 Mar 08:06 | 177
Servers
Is that a typo? Oh, it's not a typo. Ampere really is touting an 80-core 64-bit 7nm Arm server processor dubbed Altra
Meanwhile, Marvell offers a 36-core chip, Xilinx whips out an FPGA-based SmartNIC
03 Mar 14:00 | 20
Servers
Chipzilla or Chipzooky? If Intel's server CPU sales keep on shrinking, El Reg will have to update the branding
Still a monopoly in Western Euro channel, but it's smaller: shortages and AMD ROME burning Intel market share
02 Mar 13:45 | 13
Servers
C'mon SPARCky, it's just an admin utility update. What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me?Now, where was I? [tappity tap] ... BALLS!
17 Feb 08:05 | 174
Servers
Coronavirus to decimate server supply chain, analysts claim: Sales to fall 10% as factories stay shut
And it turns out there was an upside to the US-China trade war
11 Feb 08:04 | 13
Servers
Who needs the A-Team or MacGyver when there's a techie with an SCSI cable?
Who, Me?When two become one in the server room
10 Feb 08:15 | 164
Servers
Intel server chip shortages continue to bite: HPE warns of Xeon processor supply drought for the whole of 2020
ExclusiveTraditional IT titans take backseat behind cloud giants
20 Jan 09:17 | 43
Servers
The Register disappears up its own fundament with a Y2K prank to make a BOFH's grinchy heart swell with pride
Y2KThe circle is now complete. When I met you I was but the learner. Now, I am the master.
31 Dec 19:30 | 34
Servers
El Reg presents: Your one-step guide on where not to store electronic mail
On CallBut my emails!
26 Dec 10:04 | 147
Servers
Apple sues iPhone CPU design ace after he quits to run data-center chip upstart Nuvia
CEO accused of breaching contract with Cupertino, fires back in court
09 Dec 23:16 | 95
Servers
Here's a bit of Intel for you: Neri a day goes by that HPE doesn't feel CPU shortage pinch
Not just server pain, PC industry feeling it too, says CEO
09 Dec 09:10 | 22
Popular
Software
Software bug in Bombardier airliner made planes turn the wrong way
Cold weather missed approaches went left instead of right - and vice versa
Security
Remember when Republicans said Dems hacked voting systems to rig Georgia's election? There were no hacks
'No evidence of damage to network or computers, no evidence of theft, damage, or loss of data'
Software
Visual Studio Code finally arrives on ARM64 Windows. No, you haven't woken up in 2017, sadly. It's still 2020
Now you can program like a native with your £899 Surface Pro X – keyboard not included
Storage
Western Digital shingled out in lawsuit for allegedly sneaking RAID-unfriendly tech into drives for RAID arrays
Probing by El Reg's Chris Mellor highlighted in class-action complaint
Personal Tech
Did nobody tell them about the lockdown? Logitech releases new 'luggable' mechanical keyboard for LAN parties
Wireless kit has 40 hours' battery life, but turn off the RGB fripperies and you might get 135 days
Science
Watch SpaceX's Starship SN4 prototype accidentally self-destruct in a rocket test burn
VideoThere's a starship waiting for the sky, he'd like to come meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds
Personal Tech
Nokia's reboot of the 5310 is a blissfully dumb phone that will lug some mp3s about just fine
No Wi-Fi, no newsfeeds – just you, 2G, and your awful music taste
Software
This'll make you feel old: Uni compsci favourite Pascal hits the big five-oh this year
Spawn of ALGOL turns middle-aged
Bootnotes
Guess who came thiiis close to signing off a €102k annual budget? Austria. Someone omitted 'figures in millions'
'In Ihrem Budget fehlen sechs Nullen' warned MP
Personal Tech
Twitter, Reddit and pals super unhappy US visa hopefuls have to declare their online handles to Uncle Sam
Land Of The Free to List All The Websites You Use
STORIES
Servers
Cloud vendors burp after last year's server sales feast, couldn't possibly eat any more
Not even a wafer-thin blade?
06 Dec 18:15 |
Servers
Ohhh, you're so rugged! Microsoft swoons at new Lenovo box pushing Azure to the edge
Fix it to a wall, stick it on a shelf
06 Dec 15:16 | 5
Servers
IT protip: Never try to be too helpful lest someone puts your contact details next to unruly boxen
On CallIn which our hero becomes an accidental expert
01 Nov 08:05 | 144
Servers
AMD isn't playing around: Bad console quarter a drag on chip slinger's finances
Strong Ryzen, Epyc performance hampered by slow sales for semi-custom
29 Oct 23:41 | 5
Servers
SPARCs fly as Oracle recharges Arm server processor designer Ampere with $40m
Ohm my God
28 Sep 00:47 | 26
Servers
Justice served: There is no escape from the long server log of the law
Who, Me?A handover or handcuffs? Take your pick, eh?
16 Sep 07:04 | 168
Servers
Handcranked HTML and JPEG japes. What could possibly go wrong?
Who, Me?Friends don't let friends click Publish
09 Sep 07:15 | 95
Servers
What goes up must come down, and that applies to the server market in Q2 too
Canada and EMEA see growth. As for the rest of the world...
05 Sep 16:29 | 6
Servers
Divert the power to the shields. 'I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain!'
Who, Me?Always check the roof – you never know what might (not) be lurking there
02 Sep 07:04 | 185
Servers
Here's to beer, without which we'd never have the audacity to Google an error message at 3am
On CallBut hey, the first result worked and you're a legend
09 Aug 07:16 | 157
Servers
Seagate spins off a bit of cash from slowing disk drive business
Flash? Pa-ahh! Better to put dollars into disk
05 Aug 16:59 | 6
Servers
Huawei is planning to inject $436m into Arm-based server silicon
With its eye mostly on the domestic market
25 Jul 13:30 | 25
Servers
If malware wants to bury deep inside your Lenovo or Gigabyte servers, they can just ask Vertiv's insecure BMC firmware
UpdatedSoftware nasties, hackers, rogue admins can exploit bug duo to hide in your systems
17 Jul 01:36 | 24
Servers
SQL Server 2008 finally shuffles into the home for retired relational databases
Azure fans can put off the grim reaper for three more years
10 Jul 18:01 | 56
Servers
Packet hauls microservers out of dusty grave: Whoa! Necromancy is really edgy
Small machines with feeble CPUs are becoming interesting again
24 Jun 16:00 | 8
Servers
Having bank problems? I feel bad for you son: I've got 25 million problems, but a bulk upload ain't one
Who, Me?It was acceptable in the Eighties
24 Jun 07:08 | 161
Servers
Microsoft emits next year's Windows Server for lucky Insiders... as for the rest of you, see you vNext year
When is semi-annual not semi-annual? Never mind that - check out our WAC, SAC and um... never mind
19 Jun 17:00 | 11
Servers
DIY with Akamai: What to do when no one sells the servers you need? You build your own
Akamai Edge WorldIf it looks like a hyperscaler, swims like a hyperscaler...
14 Jun 14:41 | 18
Servers
IBM walks away from £870m T-Systems mainframe deal amid competition concerns
German cartel office had warned of Big Blue's dominant position if tie-up went ahead
07 Jun 16:01 | 5
