Offbeat News • The Register

Offbeat

Nuclear fusion firm Pulsar fires up a UK-built hybrid rocket engine

A win in the rocketry world: 'Flames came out of the right end'

26 Nov 15:20 | 35

Something for the Weekend, Sir?

You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?

'Just take the meds, Mr Sloper, and enjoy your holiday'

26 Nov 10:25 | 102

BOFH: What if International Bad Actors designed the vaccine to make us watch more Steven Seagal movies?

Pipe down – Nicolas Cage could be listening

26 Nov 09:30 | 111

India backs away from digital services tax after US pressure

Will keep taxing, but consider payments as credits for future global tax regime

26 Nov 04:01 | 11

Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life

25 Nov 14:34 | 54

Autonomy accounts whistleblowers may testify at founder Mike Lynch's US criminal trial

Recent legal wranglings sliced, diced, and dished up for your reading pleasure

25 Nov 11:28 | 7

ESA's Solar Orbiter will swing past Earth this week – sure hope nobody created a big cloud of space junk up there

25 Nov 10:33 | 30

Theranos' Holmes admits she slapped Big Pharma logos on lab reports to boost her biz

'I wish I had done it differently' she tells jury in fraud trial

24 Nov 23:10 | 48

NASA boffins seem to think we're worth saving from fiery asteroid death so they're shooting a spaceship at one

Bruce Willis not required

24 Nov 12:28 | 71

LoRa to the Moon and back: Messages bounced off lunar surface using off-the-shelf hardware

... and a damn big radio telescope

24 Nov 09:30 | 49

Genetically modified E coli bacteria produce ink for 3D printing programmable objects

Drug delivery, environmental clean up, building in space among possible applications

23 Nov 19:35 | 12

Joint venture: Uber Eats to offer weed orders in Ontario

O Cannabis! Meanwhile, ride biz back to court in the UK over driver contracts

23 Nov 12:37 | 17

James Webb Space Telescope gets all shook up – launch delayed again

Space agencies have been planning this thing since 1996, so what's four more days?

23 Nov 06:57 | 39

Fancy being an astronaut but didn't go to uni? Your time may have finally come

Japanese space agency wants 'nauts with good eyesight and work experience – no degree required

23 Nov 05:05 | 5

China's hypersonic glider didn't just orbit Earth, it 'fired a missile' while at Mach 5

Middle Kingdom suggests US is making it all up to justify arms development. As if!

23 Nov 00:35 | 98

Russia's orbital insanity is almost beyond redemption – but there's space for improvement

Every debris cloud has a silver lining

22 Nov 09:30 | 94

Beijing issues fines for 43 Big Tech M&A deals all the way back to 2012

Alibaba and Tencent racked up more than ten cases – each

22 Nov 06:58 | 4

Everything but the catch: '90s pop act or a successful mission for Rocket Lab?

2022's plan: Playing with boosters and helicopters

18 Nov 17:30 | 17

Regulators on three continents probing Nvidia's $40bn purchase of Arm, CFO confirms

US Federal Trade Commission latest to 'express concerns'

18 Nov 13:15 | 8

New study demonstrates iodine as satellite propellant... in space

Tech promises to support boom in small satellites

18 Nov 11:46 | 47

Popular

Swooping in to claim the glory while the On Call engineer stands baffled

Backups or crack-ups? Welcome to the world of the IBM System/3

Sweden asks EU to ban Bitcoin mining because while hydroelectric power is cheap, they need it for other stuff

Lighting and warming homes in winter, or ransoming encrypted files and buying drugs? Hmmm

Something for the Weekend, Sir?

You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?

'Just take the meds, Mr Sloper, and enjoy your holiday'

BOFH: What if International Bad Actors designed the vaccine to make us watch more Steven Seagal movies?

Pipe down – Nicolas Cage could be listening

Reviving a classic: ThinkPad modder rattles tin to fund new motherboard for 2008's T60 and T61 series of laptops

When vendors don't update old models, someone must step up

The rocky road to better Linux software installation: Containers, containers, containers

Let's be real: Everyone is trying to catch up with Apple

Nuclear fusion firm Pulsar fires up a UK-built hybrid rocket engine

A win in the rocketry world: 'Flames came out of the right end'

LG Electronics anoints new CEO, elevates exec who grew laptop biz too

M&A department elevated in importance, gets more resources

Government-favoured child safety app warned it could violate the UK's Investigatory Powers Act with message-scanning tech

Redesigned SafeToNet feature highlights tech law mess

Privacy Sandbox saga continues: UK watchdog extracts more commitments from Google over ad tech

Roll up, roll up. Come and be the CMA-approved trustee to keep an eye on the Chocolate Factory's antics

MORE
STORIES

It's fake ooze, don't fall for fake ooze: Alien fossils found on Mars might just be simple chemistry, uni pair warn

Similar mistakes have been made in the past, after all

18 Nov 07:29 | 37

RIP Bernie Drummond: Celebrated ZX Spectrum artist and programmer on Batman, Head Over Heels, Match Day II

'He went from crazy doodler to craftsman instantly'

17 Nov 17:02 | 17

Northrop Grumman throws hat in the ring to design NASA's next-gen Lunar Terrain Vehicle

Caution: Story contains questionable Lego recreation

16 Nov 18:34 | 24

A 'national security' issue: UK.gov blocks Nvidia's Arm deal for now, inserts deeper probe

Digi Secretary Nadine Dorries: CMA to 'report to me' on the next steps

16 Nov 14:30 | 64

From the studio that brought you 'Mortal Wombat' comes 'Pernicious Possum'

Woman tells New Zealand police she was held hostage by small marsupial

16 Nov 13:15 | 29

SAP patent not inventive enough to get legal protection, judge rules

Teradata also sees wings clipped in ongoing battle with German ERP giant

16 Nov 10:15 | 17

Russia blows up old satellite, NASA boss 'outraged' as ISS crew shelters from debris

Moscow slammed for 'reckless, dangerous, irresponsible' weapon test

16 Nov 02:46 | 119

A diverse range of processing units linked via interconnects. Sounds familiar? Yes, it's IBM's quantum computing

System Two takes modular, data-center-inspired approach. Plus: 127-qubit Eagle Big Blue hopes will fly

16 Nov 01:55 | 4

NASA auditor's reality check says '2026 at the earliest' for Artemis Moon landing

All stacked up and nowhere to go

15 Nov 17:04 | 11

Bork!Bork!Bork!

Cruel and unusual IT fail upstages Megan Fox. Transformers: Windows in disguise

Check your outputs, kids

15 Nov 11:39 | 21

Ofcom slams slammers: Telcos fined for switching punters' phone lines without their knowledge or consent

Guaranteed Telecom, Met Technologies nurse £35k penalty, and to them that's meaningful

15 Nov 10:46 | 15

Earth's wobbly companion is probably the result of a lunar impact, reckon space boffins

Reflected light points to Moon-like material on recently discovered rock

12 Nov 17:15 | 38

Brit analysts formed pact to crash Autonomy's market valuation, ex-CFO tells US court

Eye-catching claim in an eye-catching case

12 Nov 13:01 | 22

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it an Electron rocket descending to the ocean?

Everything but catching the thing: Rocket Lab prepares for recovery

12 Nov 11:12 | 12

BOFH: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself

Service provider? You sure about that second bit?

12 Nov 09:15 | 99

Still reeling from the Great Facebook Blackout of 2021? Turns out Zuck is not the worst offender

Uswitch's survey may surprise you – or not. Depends how much you like Reddit

11 Nov 15:00 | 4

ESA tries listening to a red rover on the Red Planet: How did it go? The sound of silence

Mars Express wanted to demonstrate its relay smarts once again, but space agency mum on progress

11 Nov 11:44 | 2

International Space Station fires rockets to dodge chunk of destroyed Chinese satellite

Meanwhile, next crew of astronauts all set to launch on Thursday

11 Nov 02:56 | 30

Google loses appeal against $2.7bn EU antitrust fine for distorting competition in price comparison websites

Was going to buy a spider from a pet shop, then realised I could pick one up on the web. Here all week

10 Nov 14:45 | 37

Swiss lab's rooftop demo shows sunlight and air can make fuel

Proof of concept produces tiny volume of hydrocarbons, but makes a big point

10 Nov 13:13 | 75

Ofcom announces plan to protect endangered species – the Great British phone box

BT is getting axe-happy but regulator's scheme could save 5,000 kiosks

10 Nov 11:45 | 32

Google swats away £3bn Safari Workaround ad-tracking cookie lawsuit in Supreme Court victory

Campaigners' case had 'no real prospect of success'

10 Nov 10:52 | 29

NASA delays crewed Moon landing until 2025, citing technical infeasibility

The space agency wants you to know they are still committed to the project

10 Nov 07:57 | 31

Another 100 space tourists buy a ride from Virgin Galactic: $25k of that ticket deposit is 'non-refundable'

Firm still manages to lose $48m while Italian Air Force waits to board Branson's space jalopy

09 Nov 12:36 | 38

Rolls-Royce set for funding fillip to build nuclear power stations based on small modular reactor technology

Private-sector investment could unlock additional government cash

09 Nov 12:30 | 211

Now that's a splash down: Astronauts spend 8-hour trip to Earth in diapers after SpaceX capsule toilet breaks

Puts a whole new spin on 'To boldly go where no one has gone before'

09 Nov 07:04 | 38

Belgium watchdog reckons online advertisers should be data controllers under GDPR

Real-time bidding advertising tested by European authorities

08 Nov 15:32 | 14

Slapped wrists at Broadcom as FTC approves order against 'anticompetitive' conduct

No more loyalty deals or spanking customers for going elsewhere

05 Nov 18:30 | 3

Hibernating instrument on Hubble roused as engineers ponder message problem

A software workaround for an iffy component looms. Sound familiar?

05 Nov 12:15 | 45

Something for the Weekend, Sir?

One click, one goal, one mission: To get a one-touch flush solution

Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken

05 Nov 09:30 | 76

So it is possible for Jeff Bezos to lose: Court dismisses Blue Origin complaint about Moon contract award to Elon Musk

NASA and SpaceX to resume working on the next lunar lander

05 Nov 03:18 | 27

22-year-old Brit accused of Twitter SIM-swap heists charged with $784k cryptocurrency theft

He's in Spain, faces extradition to the US to stand trial

04 Nov 13:30 | 26

NASA picks spot at Moon's South Pole to perform first ice-drilling experiment

Featuring two sidekicks: A rover using Nokia's 4G and a hopping recon bot

04 Nov 07:11 | 19

SAP expects to rid car fleet of fossil fuel engines by 2030 – but still more than happy to take money from oil industry

Promises to stop ordering combustion engine vehicles by 2025

03 Nov 20:29 | 19

Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3

Who needs big pockets, right? Other than, you know, literally everyone

03 Nov 13:30 | 72

Remember the 'guy in a jetpack' seen flying close to passenger jets? Probably just balloons, says FBI

Ah well, back to panicking over imaginary drones, then

03 Nov 04:06 | 23

What a clock up: Brit TV-broadband giant Sky fails to pick up weekend's timezone change, fix due by Friday

We say GMT, you say BST, let's call the whole thing off

02 Nov 14:30 | 106

Of course we've tried turning it off and on again: Yeah, Hubble telescope still not working

Science suspended as engineers study synchronisation issue

02 Nov 12:32 | 54

SpaceX-powered trip to ISS grounded by 'medical issue'

It's not COVID-19 and it's not an emergency, insists NASA

02 Nov 05:39 | 22

Google lab proposes solar-powered moisture farming to provide water for billions

From Tatooine to Earth

01 Nov 12:13 | 59

New World: Grindy? Check. Repetitive? Check. Fun? We hate to say it... but check

Goddamn it, Jeff Bezos' lot can make a passable MMORPG after all

30 Oct 09:38 | 31

Trick or treat? Massive solar storm could light up American skies this Halloween

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration issued a warning of a geomagnetic storm

29 Oct 22:03 | 22

Microsoft surpasses Apple as world's most valuable biz, by stock price at least

iBiz sunk by scarce chips and Microsoft's Azure cloud cash faucet

29 Oct 20:00 | 11

Juno what? Jupiter's Great Red Spot is much deeper than originally thought

Boffins release treasure trove of findings from NASA probe, including weird cyclones around the poles

29 Oct 13:26 | 7

Something for the Weekend, Sir?

Remember when you thought fax machines were dead-matter teleporters? Ah, just me, then

No, things were NOT better in the past, so leave them there

29 Oct 10:38 | 132

Assange psychiatrist misled judge over parentage of his kids, US tells High Court

Didn't make clear he was their dad... Why? In case CIA harmed them, suggests his barrister

28 Oct 14:37 | 159

50 years have gone by since the UK's one – and only – homegrown foray into orbit

Hopefully not another half century before the next... although launchpads are pricey

28 Oct 10:56 | 53

Pack your bags – we may have found the first planet outside of our galaxy

Alas, we will have to wait 70 years to confirm the sighting

28 Oct 02:04 | 37

'We will not rest until the periodic table is exhausted' says Intel CEO on quest to keep Moore's Law alive

From developers and Mount Evans ASICs to zettascale-by-2027 promises – what's Chipzilla got planned for us?

28 Oct 00:58 | 55

Teen bought Google ad for his scam website and made 48 Bitcoins duping UK online shoppers

'If he was an adult he would be going inside' – judge

27 Oct 13:27 | 69

UK science suffers as lawmakers continue to dither over Brexit negotiations

Horizons Europe carrot dangled amid protocol wrangling

27 Oct 10:30 | 201

31-year-old piece of hardware not working very well: Hubble telescope back in safe mode over 'synchronization issues'

James Webb Space Telescope in line for a December flight

26 Oct 11:03 | 100

Google deliberately throttled ad load times to promote AMP, claims new court document

'Nice comparative boost' for AMP claimed to be achieved by actively slowing other formats

26 Oct 08:30 | 45

Samsung boss Lee Jae-Yong convicted and fined for drug abuse

Took Propofol, aka ‘the milk of amnesia’ or 'the drug that killed Michael Jackson'

26 Oct 07:48 | 6

Jeff Bezos wants to build a business park in space

Pretty ambitious – none of this Blue-Origin-led consortium can put humans in orbit yet

26 Oct 00:04 | 46

Amazon warehouse workers in New York to labor watchdog: We want our union vote

Unions face test on Staten Island after defeat in Bessemer, Alabama

25 Oct 23:18 | 15

Electronic Frontier Foundation ousts co-founder John Gilmore from its board

He's free of governance duties now, but still an emeritus member

25 Oct 05:58 | 21

NASA sets a date to begin lunar tuning

First Artemis mission is stacked on a rocket – now for five punishing sets of tests before liftoff

25 Oct 00:18 | 17

Florida man accused of breaking Mastodon's open-source license with botched social network launch

Golf enthusiast given 30 days to cough up code

23 Oct 00:38 | 56

Microsoft investor urges shareholders to vote for a deep dive into pay gap and harassment policies

More transparency and reporting needed, says Arunja Capital

22 Oct 15:30 | 1

BOFH: So you want to have your computer switched out for something faster? It's time to learn from the master

Corporate will make you jump through hoops – but there's always a window

22 Oct 08:27 | 96

'Windows 11 has been successfully downloaded,' says update for Xbox version of Microsoft Flight Simulator

What? No. Noooooooooooooooooo

21 Oct 16:12 | 16

After more than a decade of development, South Korea has a near miss with Nuri rocket test

Nation playing catch-up following release from 1979 ban

21 Oct 13:59 | 10

Informatica UKI veep was rightfully sacked over Highways England $5k golf jolly, says tribunal

Underling took customer on bucket list trip - and VP signed it off without checking

21 Oct 10:56 | 30

Boeing's Starliner capsule corroded due to high humidity levels, NASA explains, and the spaceship won't fly this year

Meanwhile Elon's running orbital tourist trips and ISS crew missions

21 Oct 10:14 | 75

Theranos blood-test machine demos for VIPs rigged to hide any failures, court told

Error messages effectively piped to /dev/null, it is alleged

21 Oct 01:15 | 45

Software Freedom Conservancy sues TV maker Vizio for 'GPL infringement'

Companies using free-as-in-freedom software should meet their obligations, lawsuit says

20 Oct 16:05 | 40

UK's ARIA innovation body 'hasn't even begun to happen' says former research lead

DARPA imitator not doing much after two years of Johnson government

20 Oct 14:38 | 17

Facebook fined £50m in UK for 'conscious' refusal to report info and 'deliberate failure to comply' during Giphy acquisition probe

That rebrand can't come soon enough

20 Oct 13:49 | 41

Lunar rocks brought to Earth by China's Chang'e 5 show Moon's volcanoes were recently* active

* Just a couple of billion years

20 Oct 09:58 | 18

Darmstadt, we have a problem – ESA reveals its INTEGRAL space telescope was three hours from likely death

Gamma ray-spotting 'scope was spinning uncontrollably and unable to make 'leccy until dramatic rescue

20 Oct 08:17 | 41

Facebook may soon reveal new name – we're sure Reg readers will be more creative than Zuck's marketroids

We've kicked things off with the most splendidly evil fictional corporations, feel free to share your ideas

20 Oct 07:01 | 239

UK's competition regulator announces market study into music-streaming biz

Watchdog is getting comfortable with its new digital remit

19 Oct 12:07 | 5

Engineers investigating iffy solar array latch on NASA's Lucy as probe begins long journey to Trojan asteroids

Spacecraft otherwise stable and working well

18 Oct 18:46 | 8

Dishing up the goods: Square Kilometre Array moves out of the theoretical and into the contractual

Plus: Australian telescope precursor finds weird waves in the middle of the galaxy

18 Oct 16:44 | 23

Facebook posts job ad for 10,000 'high-skilled' roles to 'build the metaverse' – and they'll all be based in the EU

Announcement uses the phrase 'world-leading' without referring to UK once

18 Oct 14:30 | 47

Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day

Jamie and Amanda have a new co-presenter to contend with

18 Oct 10:01 | 25

Oops, they did it again – rogue Soyuz spurt gave ISS an attitude problem

Crew successfully de-orbited on Sunday carrying vital payload: footage for a movie shot in space

17 Oct 23:59 | 16

Missouri governor demands prosecution of reporter for 'decoding HTML source code' and reporting a data breach

Salus populi suprema lex esto ... or perhaps not

15 Oct 19:31 | 105

Bork!Bork!Bork!

Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival

Washington Metro admin has taken an early lunch

15 Oct 17:17 | 24

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