Bork!Bork!Bork!
Parking is expensive. It can cost an arm, a leg, and a Windows licence
Activate Windows and put up a parking lot
24 Sep 11:29 | 6
Bootnotes
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?
It'll all come out in the wash
24 Sep 09:14 | 75
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo
Up above the streets and houses, XP's flying high
23 Sep 09:15 | 11
Bootnotes
Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia
Between COVID and corvids, Canberrans can't catch a break
23 Sep 06:01 | 22
NSFW
Ofcom swears at the general public for five days during obscenity survey
'Warning: this report contains highly offensive language and discussion of content which may cause offence'
22 Sep 16:03 | 78
Bootnotes
Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status
Inclusion of Weetabix in charity coffee accompaniment tweet creates predictable brewhaha
21 Sep 06:55 | 151
Bork!Bork!Bork!
A Burger King where the only Whopper is the BSOD font
Come for the bork, stay for the burger
20 Sep 18:15 | 13
Bootnotes
Punchy Biden-lookalike grandad goes viral for fighting boxing gadget
'If you don't get your timing right you get whacked round the back of the head' admits scrappy octogenarian
17 Sep 17:53 | 14
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Sometimes we all feel a bit like Shutting Down. So just imagine how tired Windows 7 is
So many stuck trains, so many cancellations. Giant blue screen of Nope, we salute you.
17 Sep 10:01 | 10
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it
J’appuie sur le starter et voici que je quitte la terre
17 Sep 09:13 | 119
Updated
Bepanted shovel-toting farmer wins privacy payout from France TV
Unwitting star of #Slipgate viral images awarded reduced damages, tempts Streisand effect
16 Sep 17:10 | 21
Bootnotes
The Register speaks to one of the designers behind the latest Lego Ideas marvel: A clockwork solar system
Who needs a 3,000-piece orrery? We do, of course
15 Sep 09:13 | 44
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Running on empty, out of battery, power draining... three things the UK government definitely isn't. Oh no
Video connected – check. Plugged into the mains? Er...
14 Sep 09:00 | 15
Bootnotes
NYC subway SNAFU probably caused by someone turning it off accidentally, say reports
OK, so you're halfway there. Now have you tried switching the network back on again?
13 Sep 19:30 | 31
Bootnotes
Fortnite banana can appear in court naked says judge in Epic vs Apple legal footnote
Legal questions still remain over whether this judgment applies to all bananas or just that one
13 Sep 13:47 | 29
Roundup
This is not the tech unicorn you are looking for... and other stories
Another weekly digest of strangeness from around the world that you may have missed
12 Sep 09:46 | 19
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Music festivals are back in the UK. So is the background bork
Stage fright? Or the knowledge that Windows is lurking behind you
10 Sep 12:15 | 25
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?
Please hold me back from the discount aisle in case I buy a USB desk fan
10 Sep 09:15 | 115
Updated
SAP 'investigating' after viral video allegedly shows anti-mask employee coughing on shoppers
COVIDiot caught on film harassing others for following pandemic precautions
08 Sep 21:39 | 64
Bootnotes
Council culture: Software test leads to absurd local planning SNAFU
Swale Borough Council faced with hefty bill for junior IT hero's whimsical afternoon's work
08 Sep 16:01 | 75
Popular
Security
Frustrated dev drops three zero-day vulns affecting Apple iOS 15 after six-month wait
Security Bounty program slammed over 'broken promises'
Boatnotes II
'Nobody in their right mind would build a naval base here today': Navigating in and out of Devonport
Twisting and turning like a twisty-turny thing
Security
Apple warns of arbitrary code execution zero-day being actively exploited on Macs
Remember iPods? The same bug can bite them, and plenty of older iPhones and iPads too
Updated
One-size-fits-all chargers? What a great idea! Of course Apple would hate it
Cupertino thinks EU USB-C plan 'stifles innovation rather than encouraging it'
Review
CutefishOS: Unix-y development model? Check. macOS aesthetic? Check (if you like that sort of thing)
Also a range of homegrown apps. Still in beta, so plenty of rough edges, though
On Call
Check your bits: What to do when Unix decides to make a hash of your bill printouts
Symbol shenanigans turned out to be the least of the government's problems
Episode 17
BOFH: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine
Flame purifies all
On-Prem
Dell bids adieu to the era of big acquisitions, concentrates on paying down debt and Michael's new book
Partnerships are our future, says tycoon
Networks
Japanese boffins say they've created plastic optical fibres to reach places that might break glass
Polymers can transmit at 53Gbps without error correction overheads, and could be just the thing for electric cars
OSes
GNOME 41: Slick with heaps of new features for users and devs – but annoyances remain
It'll take time for desktop environment to make its way into Linux distros anyway
STORIES
Bork!Bork!Bork!
With a Lidl bit of luck, this Windows installation will make it through the night
Microsoft's finest just needs a nudge
08 Sep 10:02 | 13
Bootnotes
Italian stuntman flies aeroplane through two motorway tunnels
Sponsor Red Bull supposedly gives you wings, but that doesn't mean you have to use them everywhere
06 Sep 13:03 | 73
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Spraying a boot error up the bathroom wall
Taking the Pis in Paris
06 Sep 10:47 | 16
ROUNDUP
Virginia school board learns a hard lesson... and other stories
A confluence of recent confusion from around the world that you may have missed
05 Sep 08:15 | 44
Bootnotes
The unit of measure for fatbergs is not hippopotami, even if the operator of an Australian sewer says so
Thou shalt not infringe upon the Register Standards Soviet
02 Sep 12:27 | 103
Updated
Volkswagen to stop making its best-selling product for Wolfsburg workers: VW-branded sausages
Environmentally damaging old bangers to be replaced with greener veggie versions.. in 1 of its canteens, at least
01 Sep 13:46 | 83
Boatnotes
British naval food doesn't look half bad... so we're going to try it out for ourselves
Announcing the return of El Reg's Boatnotes series with the RN
27 Aug 13:28 | 46
Feature
The Register recreates Apollo 15 through the medium of plastic bricks, 50 years on
Building the missing spacecraft in Lego's NASA collection
27 Aug 09:28 | 27
Bootnotes
'No peeing towards Russia' sign appears on country's Arctic border with Norway
Don't poke the bear! Or urinate on it
26 Aug 16:31 | 58
Bootnotes
Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain
Will this nightmare ever cease?
24 Aug 15:47 | 313
Bootnotes
Cop drone crashes into flight instructor's airplane
The plod needs a lesson in keeping air traffic controllers in the loop, it seems
23 Aug 23:44 | 28
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Live, die, copy-paste, repeat: Everything is recycled now, including ideas
We can't rewind, we've gone too far
20 Aug 10:59 | 58
Bootnotes
Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland
Harry Potter and the Unstoppable Simpletons
18 Aug 10:32 | 230
Bork!Bork!Bork!
A Whopper of a bork for seekers of pre-flight nosh
BSODs should be scary, not soothing
17 Aug 08:29 | 28
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Please do not touch the exhibits – or this tabletop Windows Boot Manager
Microsoft's OS once again where it shouldn't be
16 Aug 11:20 | 8
NSFW
Tired: What3Words. Wired: A clone location-tracking service based on FOUR words – and they are all extremely rude
A tour of UK tech HQs courtesy of some saucy Anglo-Saxonisms
14 Aug 07:43 | 108
