Bootnotes
Dog forgets all about risk of drowning in a marsh as soon as drone dangles a sausage
It's not the wurst idea in the world
21 Jan 20:01 | 12
Bootnotes
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
'Can you identify your assailants?' Yes, they were pixelated! I'd know them anywhere!
'Inside' knowledge on the image database conundrum – at 25 frames per second
21 Jan 09:30 | 34
Bootnotes
If you want less CGI and more real effects in movies, you may get your wish: Inflatable film studio to orbit Earth
What a retirement for the ISS: Gaining a totally feasible 'state-of-the-art media production capability'
21 Jan 01:36 | 37
Bootnotes
Microsoft sends HoloLens 2 into a care home... Nope, not a headline gag about retiring the tech. They actually did this
Hands-free kit a 'game changer' for doctors assessing residents during pandemic
19 Jan 14:02 | 3
Bootnotes
Big shock: Guy who fled political violence and became rich in tech now struggles to care about political violence
'I recognize that I come across as lacking empathy,' billionaire VC admits
18 Jan 22:37 | 48
Bootnotes
Epoch-alypse now: BBC iPlayer flaunts 2038 cutoff date, gives infrastructure game away
Nobody expects the Linux malposition, do they, Michael Palin?
17 Jan 11:34 | 101
Bootnotes
Weed dispensary software company's ambitions pruned after Spotify trademark clash
Because they tried to call it Potify
13 Jan 10:17 | 52
Updated
Canon: Chip supplies are so bad that our ink cartridges will look as though they're fakes
The solution? Click the annoying error messages away and keep printing
10 Jan 14:32 | 122
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Not looking forward to a greyscale 2022? Then look back to the past in 64 colours
Any colour you like as long as it's black. Or white
07 Jan 09:30 | 139
Bootnotes
Ceefax replica goes TITSUP* as folk pine for simpler times
But creator runs server from home – we can forgive him
06 Jan 13:13 | 95
Bootnotes
Fugitive mafioso evaded cops for two decades until he was spotted on Google Street View
Wanted killer cuffed in Spain after more evidence from Facebook
06 Jan 07:25 | 40
Bootnotes
Heart attack victim 'saved' by defibrillator delivery drone*
* And a passerby who happened to be a doctor
06 Jan 06:27 | 64
12BoC
Bork ends where it began. At McDonald's, home of the finest bork product
Bork bless us, everyone
05 Jan 10:32 | 10
12BoC
France loves open source so much, even its cinema borks have Linux behind the scenes
The last time Ubuntu went to space ISS astronauts got menaced by CIMON*
04 Jan 10:01 | 37
12BoC
A kitchen splashbork on sale at the Cardiff IKEA
Keeping things consistent in the Pi department
03 Jan 10:02 | 12
12BoC
The Ghost of Windows Past haunts a street corner in Bermondsey
Woo... woo... don't forget to back up your files... woo...
02 Jan 10:01 | 33
12BoC
Going round in circles with Windows in Singapore
A mystery error message bedevils Mass Transit Passengers
01 Jan 10:01 | 22
12BoC
Some errors fill the screen. And some come from the .NET Framework
Go on. Click Continue. We dare you
31 Dec 10:01 | 27
12BoC
Too busy feasting on meatballs, Windows struggles to update itself in IKEA
Who is going to install this Daim patch?
30 Dec 09:01 | 30
Bootnotes
Yule goat's five-year flame-free streak ends ignominiously
Swedish city refuses to make tradition of setting fire to a tradition a tradition
29 Dec 12:02 | 77
Popular
OSes
First they came for Notepad. Now they're coming for Task Manager
Is nothing safe from the dead hand of the Windows 11 design aesthetic?
OSes
SUSE announces something for those who miss the old CentOS: Liberty Linux
Run, run like RHEL
Opinion
Privacy is for paedophiles, UK government seems to be saying while spending £500k demonising online chat encryption
So far we've got a pisspoor video and... er, that's it
Security
For those worried about Microsoft's Pluton TPM chip: Lenovo won't even switch it on by default in latest ThinkPads
Folks can enable or disable it, install Linux as normal. Just sayin'
SaaS
Google sours on legacy G Suite freeloaders, demands fee or flee
Free incarnation of online app package, which became Workplace, is going away
Networks
APNIC: Big Tech's use of carrier-grade NAT is holding back internet innovation
IPv4 limits apps to simple interactions, and in 2021 IPv6 adoption growth was just three per cent
Security
'Now' would be the right time to patch Ubuntu container hosts and ditch 21.04 thanks to heap buffer overflow bug
Red Hat agrees
Security
Singapore gives banks two-week deadline to fix SMS security
Edict follows widespread bank phishing scam claiming well over $6.3 million
Off-Prem
Web daddy Tim Berners-Lee on privacy, data sharing, and the web's future
'Ensure that code you write works with these open standards'
Security
UK mulls making MSPs subject to mandatory security standards where they provide critical infrastructure
And to pay for the privilege. Consultation's open, though
STORIES
12BoC
Low on passengers, low on memory: A bad day on the London Underground
Lucky that new Crossrail thing is late – who knows how Windows will cope?
29 Dec 10:01 | 56
12BoC
Windows takes a breather in London's Spitalfields
No, not that sort of Rust
28 Dec 09:01 | 13
12BoC
Please pay for parking – CMOS batteries don't buy themselves
Tesco parking screen reminds customers of the glory days of 2012
27 Dec 09:03 | 69
Column
A proposal to beat below-the-belt selfies: Crowdsourced machine learning using victims' image stashes
Empty your inboxes, people, we can duck this problem together
22 Dec 08:05 | 77
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Thank you, FAQ chatbot, but if I want your help I'll ask for it
It’s FAQing annoying to tell the truth
17 Dec 10:33 | 165
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Playing jigsaw on my roof: They can ID you from your hygiene habits
Pat McGovern knew his way around a trash can
10 Dec 10:07 | 74
Bootnotes
OK, boomer? Gen-X-ers, elder millennials most likely to name their cars, says DVLA
Most bizarre names chosen by UK drivers included ZZ Top and The Beast
09 Dec 15:13 | 94
Bootnotes
Fail: Exam paper marked by Elon Musk up for auction
Sweary test on sale as Tesla CEO forgets where he parked his car
06 Dec 19:03 | 12
The RPG
Battlefield 2042: Please don't be the death knell of the franchise, please don't be the death knell of the franchise
Another terrible launch, but DICE is already working on improvements
04 Dec 09:00 | 31
Bootnotes
One white cat and a volcano short of a Bond villain: Rocket Lab's Peter Beck shows off the 'Hungry Hippo'
Neutron updated, but the Spectre of SpaceX looms
03 Dec 14:44 | 26
Bootnotes
When you think of a unit of length, do you think of Antony Gormley's rusty anatomy?
Angel of the North asteroid story upsets us mightily
03 Dec 09:30 | 49
Bootnotes
What a bunch of bricks: Crooks knock hole in toyshop wall, flee with €35k Lego haul
Police still trying to piece everything together
02 Dec 13:00 | 106
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?
'Just take the meds, Mr Sloper, and enjoy your holiday'
26 Nov 10:25 | 121
Bootnotes
Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life
Just $8,300!
25 Nov 14:34 | 60
Bootnotes
Joint venture: Uber Eats to offer weed orders in Ontario
O Cannabis! Meanwhile, ride biz back to court in the UK over driver contracts
23 Nov 12:37 | 17
Bootnotes
From the studio that brought you 'Mortal Wombat' comes 'Pernicious Possum'
Woman tells New Zealand police she was held hostage by small marsupial
16 Nov 13:15 | 29
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Cruel and unusual IT fail upstages Megan Fox. Transformers: Windows in disguise
Check your outputs, kids
15 Nov 11:39 | 21
Bootnotes
Still reeling from the Great Facebook Blackout of 2021? Turns out Zuck is not the worst offender
Uswitch's survey may surprise you – or not. Depends how much you like Reddit
11 Nov 15:00 | 4
Bootnotes
Ofcom announces plan to protect endangered species – the Great British phone box
BT is getting axe-happy but regulator's scheme could save 5,000 kiosks
10 Nov 11:45 | 32
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
One click, one goal, one mission: To get a one-touch flush solution
Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken
05 Nov 09:30 | 76
Bootnotes
Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3
Who needs big pockets, right? Other than, you know, literally everyone
03 Nov 13:30 | 72
Video
Remember the 'guy in a jetpack' seen flying close to passenger jets? Probably just balloons, says FBI
Ah well, back to panicking over imaginary drones, then
03 Nov 04:06 | 23
Bootnotes
What a clock up: Brit TV-broadband giant Sky fails to pick up weekend's timezone change, fix due by Friday
We say GMT, you say BST, let's call the whole thing off
02 Nov 14:30 | 106
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Remember when you thought fax machines were dead-matter teleporters? Ah, just me, then
No, things were NOT better in the past, so leave them there
29 Oct 10:38 | 132
Updated
Florida man accused of breaking Mastodon's open-source license with botched social network launch
Golf enthusiast given 30 days to cough up code
23 Oct 00:38 | 56
Bootnotes
'Windows 11 has been successfully downloaded,' says update for Xbox version of Microsoft Flight Simulator
What? No. Noooooooooooooooooo
21 Oct 16:12 | 16
Bootnotes
Facebook posts job ad for 10,000 'high-skilled' roles to 'build the metaverse' – and they'll all be based in the EU
Announcement uses the phrase 'world-leading' without referring to UK once
18 Oct 14:30 | 47
Bootnotes
Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day
Jamie and Amanda have a new co-presenter to contend with
18 Oct 10:01 | 25
Bootnotes
Missouri governor demands prosecution of reporter for 'decoding HTML source code' and reporting a data breach
Salus populi suprema lex esto ... or perhaps not
15 Oct 19:31 | 105
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival
Washington Metro admin has taken an early lunch
15 Oct 17:17 | 25
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
All I want for Christmas is a delivery address that a delivery courier can find
Send me an SMS and I’ll tell you everything
15 Oct 09:28 | 157
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Mind your Ps and queues: Bork makes a visit to the A&E
Thanks Windows! Now this is the kind of hospital data-sharing we like to see...
14 Oct 09:15 | 19
Bootnotes
Macintosh Classic II and triceratops skull on auction: One's a dinosaur, the other has three horns on its face
Christie's 'Science and Natural History' collection isn't joking when it says it's 'a journey in time'
13 Oct 11:30 | 19
Bootnotes
Twitch increases bug bounty payouts after source code leak by... wait, is that it?
Reg reader sighs at 'Orwellian gig economy' sums
12 Oct 17:01 | 33
Bootnotes
Instagram is testing feature that tells panicking users the service is broken again
Have you tried reading books?
12 Oct 11:30 | 46
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for
It's what The Chef would want
12 Oct 10:01 | 16
Bootnotes
US nuclear submarine bumps into unidentified underwater object in South China Sea
Definitely not another sub, oh no sir
08 Oct 19:55 | 101
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Confusion at Gare de Rennes as Windows shuffles off for a Gauloise
Je suis un bork star
04 Oct 10:47 | 20
Bootnotes
Maker of ATM bombing tutorials blew himself up – Euro cops
Vid filming ended in deadly disaster
02 Oct 07:10 | 155
Roundup
Danish artist pockets museum's cash and calls it art... and other stories
Another convocation of confusion from around the world that you may have missed
01 Oct 17:15 | 16
Bootnotes
Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots'
Yes, it's UK's turn for a fuel shortage
01 Oct 12:45 | 192
Bootnotes
US school districts blame Amazon for nationwide bus driver shortage
PA, MA bring in National Guard to plug gaps, while Boston teacher tells of stripper bus hired for school trip
29 Sep 17:47 | 91
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Years of development, millions of lines of code, and Android can't even run a toilet
I'll show you 'highly targeted'
29 Sep 11:34 | 70
Bootnotes
'Extraordinary' pigs step in to protect Schiphol airport from marauding geese
Plane-wrecking idiot fowl sent packing by heroic porcine defenders of commercial aviation
28 Sep 19:45 | 74
Bootnotes
A crypto-trading hamster is outperforming the S&P 500, Nasdaq, Bitcoin
As much as I wanted to be Gordon Gekko, I'll always be Mr Goxx
28 Sep 14:15 | 20
Bootnotes
Chocgate: The fallout. Partially taxpayer-funded £6k+ staff luxury treats land ICO in lukewarm water
But it's OK. What's it gonna do – fine itself?
28 Sep 11:20 | 25
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Take a look, and you'll see... Windows XP? Bit of Dairy Milk, Fruit and Bork at Cadbury World
It's quite the show at the OTHER chocolate factory
28 Sep 10:01 | 18
Bootnotes
Want to feel old? Aussie cyclist draws Nirvana baby in Strava on streets of Adelaide because Nevermind is 30
Meanwhile, Nirvana baby unchuffed about being Nirvana baby
27 Sep 12:13 | 38
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Parking is expensive. It can cost an arm, a leg, and a Windows licence
Activate Windows and put up a parking lot
24 Sep 11:29 | 11
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?
It'll all come out in the wash
24 Sep 09:14 | 115
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo
Up above the streets and houses, XP's flying high
23 Sep 09:15 | 11
Bootnotes
Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia
Between COVID and corvids, Canberrans can't catch a break
23 Sep 06:01 | 23
NSFW
Ofcom swears at the general public for five days during obscenity survey
'Warning: this report contains highly offensive language and discussion of content which may cause offence'
22 Sep 16:03 | 80
Bootnotes
Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status
Inclusion of Weetabix in charity coffee accompaniment tweet creates predictable brewhaha
21 Sep 06:55 | 154
Bork!Bork!Bork!
A Burger King where the only Whopper is the BSOD font
Come for the bork, stay for the burger
20 Sep 18:15 | 13
Bootnotes
Punchy Biden-lookalike grandad goes viral for fighting boxing gadget
'If you don't get your timing right you get whacked round the back of the head' admits scrappy octogenarian
17 Sep 17:53 | 14
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Sometimes we all feel a bit like Shutting Down. So just imagine how tired Windows 7 is
So many stuck trains, so many cancellations. Giant blue screen of Nope, we salute you.
17 Sep 10:01 | 10
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it
J’appuie sur le starter et voici que je quitte la terre
17 Sep 09:13 | 119
Updated
Bepanted shovel-toting farmer wins privacy payout from France TV
Unwitting star of #Slipgate viral images awarded reduced damages, tempts Streisand effect
16 Sep 17:10 | 22
Bootnotes
The Register speaks to one of the designers behind the latest Lego Ideas marvel: A clockwork solar system
Who needs a 3,000-piece orrery? We do, of course
15 Sep 09:13 | 44
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Running on empty, out of battery, power draining... three things the UK government definitely isn't. Oh no
Video connected – check. Plugged into the mains? Er...
14 Sep 09:00 | 15
Bootnotes
NYC subway SNAFU probably caused by someone turning it off accidentally, say reports
OK, so you're halfway there. Now have you tried switching the network back on again?
13 Sep 19:30 | 31
Bootnotes
Fortnite banana can appear in court naked says judge in Epic vs Apple legal footnote
Legal questions still remain over whether this judgment applies to all bananas or just that one
13 Sep 13:47 | 29
Roundup
This is not the tech unicorn you are looking for... and other stories
Another weekly digest of strangeness from around the world that you may have missed
12 Sep 09:46 | 19
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Music festivals are back in the UK. So is the background bork
Stage fright? Or the knowledge that Windows is lurking behind you
10 Sep 12:15 | 25
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?
Please hold me back from the discount aisle in case I buy a USB desk fan
10 Sep 09:15 | 116
Updated
SAP 'investigating' after viral video allegedly shows anti-mask employee coughing on shoppers
COVIDiot caught on film harassing others for following pandemic precautions
08 Sep 21:39 | 64
Bootnotes
Council culture: Software test leads to absurd local planning SNAFU
Swale Borough Council faced with hefty bill for junior IT hero's whimsical afternoon's work
08 Sep 16:01 | 75
Bork!Bork!Bork!
With a Lidl bit of luck, this Windows installation will make it through the night
Microsoft's finest just needs a nudge
08 Sep 10:02 | 13
Bootnotes
Italian stuntman flies aeroplane through two motorway tunnels
Sponsor Red Bull supposedly gives you wings, but that doesn't mean you have to use them everywhere
06 Sep 13:03 | 73
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Spraying a boot error up the bathroom wall
Taking the Pis in Paris
06 Sep 10:47 | 16
ROUNDUP
Virginia school board learns a hard lesson... and other stories
A confluence of recent confusion from around the world that you may have missed
05 Sep 08:15 | 44
Bootnotes
The unit of measure for fatbergs is not hippopotami, even if the operator of an Australian sewer says so
Thou shalt not infringe upon the Register Standards Soviet
02 Sep 12:27 | 102
Updated
Volkswagen to stop making its best-selling product for Wolfsburg workers: VW-branded sausages
Environmentally damaging old bangers to be replaced with greener veggie versions.. in 1 of its canteens, at least
01 Sep 13:46 | 84
Boatnotes
British naval food doesn't look half bad... so we're going to try it out for ourselves
Announcing the return of El Reg's Boatnotes series with the RN
27 Aug 13:28 | 46
Feature
The Register recreates Apollo 15 through the medium of plastic bricks, 50 years on
Building the missing spacecraft in Lego's NASA collection
27 Aug 09:28 | 27
Bootnotes
'No peeing towards Russia' sign appears on country's Arctic border with Norway
Don't poke the bear! Or urinate on it
26 Aug 16:31 | 58
Bootnotes
Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain
Will this nightmare ever cease?
24 Aug 15:47 | 313
Bootnotes
Cop drone crashes into flight instructor's airplane
The plod needs a lesson in keeping air traffic controllers in the loop, it seems
23 Aug 23:44 | 30
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Live, die, copy-paste, repeat: Everything is recycled now, including ideas
We can't rewind, we've gone too far
20 Aug 10:59 | 58
