Bootnotes
Choose your fighter! March Mammal Madness pits poor, innocent critters against each other in mortal combat
Not literally and all in the name of education
26 Feb 23:01 | 16
Bootnotes
The RPG
Valheim: How the heck has more 'indie shovelware with PS2 graphics' sold 4 million copies in a matter of weeks?
Now, this might shock you, but it's something we like to call 'fun' (if you have friends)
26 Feb 17:14 | 38
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Microsoft spearheads a whole new genre with installation on the side of a Lyon tunnel
Ah oui, mais est-ce de l'art?
24 Feb 09:31 | 41
Bootnotes
Robocall bagmen admit they collected millions of dollars from victims scammed by bogus IRS officials, lenders
Duo picked up sacks of cash sent via FedEx, UPS, USPS etc
24 Feb 01:52 | 8
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's just a very unhappy Windows installation
The last attempt to resume your country failed. Would you like to try again?
23 Feb 10:31 | 11
Offbeat
Healthy 32-year-old offered COVID-19 vaccine because doctors had him down as 6.2cm tall with BMI of 28,000
Bloke was placed into vulnerable category because of his weight
19 Feb 17:16 | 92
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
You want me to do WHAT in that prepaid envelope?
Not quite the data dump I thought you meant
19 Feb 10:29 | 109
Bootnotes
Has Amazon finally gone cuckoo? Bezos' behemoth turns to crowdfunding for Alexa-powered timepiece
If you 'Build It', they will come
18 Feb 11:15 | 31
Bootnotes
No egrets: Ardent twitchers fined for breaking lockdown after bloke spots northern mockingbird in his garden
'Don't give out the location!!'
16 Feb 13:27 | 49
Bootnotes
Forgot Valentine's Day? Never mind, today marks 75 years of the Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer
Maybe this is why we're single
15 Feb 12:28 | 69
Offbeat
Looking for the perfect Valentine's gift? How about a week of retro gaming BBC Microlympics?
Chuckie Egg and Elite? Oh you shouldn't have!
12 Feb 13:15 | 53
Bootnotes
Court witness describes how Autonomy founder Lynch would wash his rear-end in US prison showers and dorms
When people called the Brit software biz a s*** show... ah, never mind
12 Feb 12:27 | 20
Bootnotes
Forget about an AI stealing your job, even pigs can be trained to use computers
No one can save your bacon now
11 Feb 13:13 | 43
Offbeat
We imagine this maths professor's lecture was fascinating – sadly he was muted for two hours
And more gaffes from the world of lockdown videoconferencing
10 Feb 14:45 | 56
Bork!Bork!Bork!
The next departure leaves in... have you thought about a Microsoft 365 subscription?
Waiting for a bus while welcoming Windows
10 Feb 11:01 | 21
Bork!Bork!Bork!
A Microsoft bork at the heart of The Oracle? Whatever next?
Going shopping? Hope your pockets are deep enough
09 Feb 09:30 | 13
Bootnotes
Choc horror: The UK's Information Commisioner probes its own mammoth £6,248 Hotel Chocolat spend
Oooh, you're so fancy, Commish!
09 Feb 06:32 | 16
Offbeat
Web prank horror: Man shot dead while pretending to rob someone at knife-point for a YouTube video
Shooter says he acted in self-defense
09 Feb 03:29 | 234
Bootnotes
UK college courses show decade-long surging interest in computer science – just as new intake was locked down
Well, what's an English degree gonna do when we're all strapped to PCs?
08 Feb 09:04 | 25
Who, Me?
DBA heroes don't always wear capes. Sometimes they just have a bunch of forgotten permissions
Just because you could, doesn't mean you should
08 Feb 06:58 | 38
Popular
Video
NASA sends nuclear tank 293 million miles to Mars, misses landing spot by just five metres. Now watch its video
See how plucky Perseverance touched down on the unforgiving dust world
Security
1Password has none, KeePass has none... So why are there seven embedded trackers in the LastPass Android app?
Third-party code in security-critical apps is obviously suboptimal, but company says you can opt out
SaaS
Google admits Kubernetes container tech is so complex, it's had to roll out an Autopilot feature to do it all for you
More expensive, less flexible, but easier and safer to use
Networks
SpaceX small print on Starlink insists no Earth government has authority or sovereignty over Martian activities
Isn't this a subplot from those James S A Corey novels?
Updated
Whistleblowers: Inflexible prison software says inmates due for release should be kept locked up behind bars
It's not a bug, it's a feature you need to put in a change request to alter, says developer
Servers
With computer brains in short supply, President Biden orders 100-day probe into semiconductor drought
And pledges to 'push' for $37bn in funding to increase chip manufacturing capacity
Interview
'We're finding bugs way faster than we can fix them': Google sponsors 2 full-time devs to improve Linux security
Plus: Why the Chocolate Factory only uses code it builds from source
Security
VMware warns of critical remote code execution flaw in vSphere HTML5 client
If you don't patch, the hosts driving all your virty servers are at risk. So maybe your to-do list needs a tickle?
Column
Facebook and Apple are toying with us, and it's scarcely believable
What to do when companies think they own their customers
Security
Clop ransomware gang leaks online what looks like stolen Bombardier blueprints of GlobalEye radar snoop jet
And what may be CAD drawing of a military radar antenna
STORIES
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Borkem ipsum: Supermarket gifts Thailand a tech fail that will echo down the millennia – and probably choke a turtle
Today's bork is brought to you by the keys ctrl, c and v
05 Feb 09:42 | 32
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
My bad! So you're saying that redacting an on-screen PDF with Tipp-Ex won't work?
I tried calling all 27 countries for some help with Acrobat but their mums said they were out
05 Feb 08:52 | 72
The RPG
Subnautica and Below Zero: Nurture your inner MacGyver and Kevin Costner on an ocean-planet holiday
Yes, survival games can tell great stories too
29 Jan 16:00 | 9
Offbeat
Completed Netflix? Indulge your inner nerd with a virtual talk from a computer museum
Shuttered celebrations of computing heritage need your support
29 Jan 13:03 | 19
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Very little helps: Tesco serves up 3-for-1 borkage special to self-scanning Tesco shoppers
Windows puts on a surprise show at UK retailer
29 Jan 10:28 | 36
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur: Expect an ad, get a bork
Bork bork acka-lacka bork bork
28 Jan 11:33 | 21
Updated
We regret to inform you the professor teaching your online course is already dead
Canadian educator apparently was an excellent teacher
27 Jan 13:45 | 75
Bootnotes
One careful driver: Make room in the garage... Bloodhound jet-powered car is up for sale
Price negotiable, but if you've got £8m to spare then the land speed record is up for grabs
26 Jan 11:22 | 68
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Freezing in Newcastle? You're not alone: For one lonesome creature, the world stopped on 31 Dec 2020
The Natwest ATM of woe says no, bleats a plaintive: Børk!
25 Jan 09:30 | 15
NSFW-ish
Reg reader's XXXbox oddity: The BBC4 topless thumbnail trauma whodunnit
'Not us, guv' from all involved – except TiVo, which fixed it while blaming nameless third party
22 Jan 12:00 | 29
Bootnotes
Negative Trustpilot review of law firm Summerfield Browne cost aggrieved Briton £28k
The most expensive 119 words he's ever going to write
21 Jan 11:17 | 102
Bootnotes
Looking for something on which to spend all that bonus Bitcoin? How about The Hoff's very own KITT?
Back when AI meant William Daniels behind the dashboard
19 Jan 11:05 | 35
Bootnotes
This chip lark is child's play: Intel gives us the lowdown on Lakefield in language of Lego
But maybe Foveros finest should have been a Duplo kit... *cough* 7nm
15 Jan 10:29 | 12
Bootnotes
Attack of the cryptidiots: One wants Bitcoin-flush hard drive he threw out in 2013 back, the other lost USB stick password
A combined total of $575m deleted... and counting
14 Jan 17:59 | 89
Bootnotes
The CIA's 'entire' collection of UFO records has been made available for you to sigh at
Is that The X-Files theme we hear?
13 Jan 12:30 | 80
CES
What’s that in CES heaven, is it a star? Or is it that damned elusive flying car?
For 20 years now, El Reg has been looking for proof – is this finally it?
13 Jan 06:36 | 49
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Waterloo! Windows defeated, your sign is screwed. Waterloo! Promise to bork you forevermore
Microsoft's finest suffers decisive defeat
12 Jan 10:02 | 25
Bootnotes
Fearing she had stumbled across a body, dogwalker reports pota-toe to police
At last, King Edward's remains found
11 Jan 14:01 | 38
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Two wrongs don't make a right: They make a successful project sign-off
Don't worry your pretty little head about it or I'll shoot it off
08 Jan 11:25 | 135
