Odds and Sods • The Register

Bootnotes

On this most auspicious of days, we ask: How many sysadmins does it take to change a lightbulb?

Protip: Don't treat the IT department like this if you value your life

30 Jul 12:15 | 61

Something for the Weekend, Sir?

You MUST present your official ID (but only the one that's really easy to fake)

I can show you my Three Widths swimming certificate if it helps

30 Jul 09:15 | 101

Bill for HMS Vanity Gin Palace swells by £50m in two months

That's 0.25 DUPs!

29 Jul 18:04 | 31

D'oh! Misplaced chair shuts down nuclear plant in Taiwan

Surprisingly a real-life scenario and not a plotline from The Simpsons

28 Jul 13:01 | 64

Bork!Bork!Bork!

Steam-powered computers: Retro cool or old and busted?

The silicon is weak, but the iron is strong

27 Jul 10:01 | 29

BORK!BORK!BORK!

The cockroach of Windows, XP, lives on in London's Victoria Coach Station

The three horsemen of the borkpocalypse: CMOS error, XP and... death

26 Jul 10:46 | 18

Punchy Italian kartist gets 15-year ban for trackside rampage... and other stories

An unexpectedly vehicular collection of chaos and confusion for your consideration

23 Jul 19:01 | 23

Anyone fancy a Snowmobile full of Bags O'Crap? It'll be on the list somewhere

Reg reader reveals colossal 821-item collection of Amazon trademarks tucked away on its site

23 Jul 16:02 | 27

Be careful what you inline: Defunct video-hosting domain used to inject smut flicks into news articles, more

From vid.me to f&*% me?!

22 Jul 23:30 | 22

Facebook gardening group triumphs over slapdash Zuck censorbots

Giant news org megaphone persuades dim algos they're talking about the other sort of hoes

22 Jul 21:04 | 38

Rise of The Machines

Hijacked, rampaging infrastructure will kill humans by 2025 – Gartner

Ransomware efforts will inevitably lead to threats to life as attacks on OT go OTT

21 Jul 19:02 | 23

Lawn care SWAT team subdues trigger-happy Texan... and other stories

A crunchy compendium of strangeness from around the globe

20 Jul 16:16 | 83

Gung-ho tank gamer spills classified docs in effort to win online argument

MoD, game developer take extremely dim view of excessive rivet-counter point-scoring

19 Jul 16:15 | 47

Bork!Bork!Bork!

Paid antivirus? On ads? Think of all the beer you could buy without that subscription

These are a few of our favourite things

19 Jul 10:01 | 13

Trouts on a plane: Utah drops fish into lakes from aircraft and circa 95% survive

Meanwhile, Minnesota city authorities evict dozens of monster goldfish from murky local lake

14 Jul 17:45 | 63

Bork!Bork!Bork!

Who needs 'Bliss' in Teams when you can have the real thing on a Bristol bus?

If it ever escapes the boot loop, that is

13 Jul 08:30 | 15

South Korean uni installs lavatory that pays out when you spend a penny

Eco-friendly convenience repays deposits using world's first craptocurrency

12 Jul 16:03 | 22

That time a startup tried to hire me just to push clients' products in job interviews

Veteran technologist Terence Eden recalls upstart's solicitation for shills

10 Jul 07:03 | 55

Revealed: Perfect timings for creation of exemplary full English breakfast

Warning: Article may contain controversial cooking techniques and songs by The Fall

09 Jul 15:58 | 177

Bork!Bork!Bork!

2021: A Bork Odyssey. Is it remake of Disney's The Black Hole or explorer.exe being shown the door?

Welcome to Cineworld in the leafy UK town of Harlow Essex

09 Jul 12:14 | 17

Popular

Right to repair shouldn't exist – not because it's wrong but because it's so obviously right

Gatekeeper capitalism at its most odious

Huawei to America: You're not taking cyber-security seriously until you let China vouch for us

Slams Biden's Executive Order on improving infosec, calls for multilateral trust framework

Following Torvalds' nudge, Paragon's NTFS driver for Linux is on track for kernel

Also: 5.14 rc4 is out, with Linus saying 'nothing to see here'

Undebug my heart: Using Cisco's IOS to take down capitalism – accidentally

Two little letters is all it takes

Credit-card-stealing, backdoored packages found in Python's PyPI library hub

Plus: SolarWinds cyber-spies hit US prosecutors' email systems, and more

Redpilled Microsoft does away with flashing icons on taskbar as Windows 11 hits Beta

Also: Why new OS looks this way, and easier install for Linux subsystem

Australian court rules an AI can be considered an inventor on patent filings

IP lawyer says decision is bad because the last thing we need is robot patent trolls

Wanna use your Nvidia GPU for acceleration but put off by CUDA? OpenAI has a Python-based alternative

Plus: Software-detected gunshot withdrawn as evidence from trial

AWS adds browser access to its cloudy WorkSpaces desktops – but not for Linux

Microsoft's Windows 365 will do much the same when it launches

Zoom agrees to pay subscribers $25 to put its security SNAFUs behind it

Zoombombing class action offers US$85m in payments, meaning even free accounts get a few bucks

MORE
STORIES

Massive 3D catzilla gets crowds purring in busy Shinjuku district of Tokyo

We'd hate to see the litter tray

08 Jul 18:59 | 26

Not a baaa-d idea: Embracing the eunuch lifestyle slows ageing – for sheep anyway

Too big a price to pay for decelerating your epigenetic clock?

08 Jul 05:04 | 34

Hoe yes he did: IT pro record-botherer balances garden tool on his head for 2.5 hours

Adds to soap-stacking, egg-catching, chess-setting, and many more titles

07 Jul 12:50 | 28

Bork!Bork!Bork!

The black screen of BIOS borkage haunts Space Shuttle Discovery's new home

They can put a man on the Moon, but can't change the battery in this Dell?

07 Jul 10:02 | 23

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs break out of nuclear hellscape home and into people's hearts

Irradiated boars rampage across the internet, leaving jokes, memes, fan art in their wake

06 Jul 10:01 | 40

Bork!Bork!Bork!

Black screens in Windows 11? Bork has seen it all before

Welcome to Madeira, autonomous region of Borkugal

05 Jul 10:46 | 40

A real go-GETTR: Former Trump aide tries to batter Twitter by ripping off its UI

Critic points out that restrictive T&Cs just make it 'Twitter without the porn'

02 Jul 19:45 | 50

Something for the Weekend, Sir?

Devilish plans for your next app update ensure they never happen – unless you start praying

These things really get my goat

02 Jul 09:13 | 81

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs have made themselves a home in Fukushima's exclusion zone

Human resettlement after 2011's nuclear disaster facing opposition from indestructible, betusked interlopers

01 Jul 20:01 | 201

Record-breaking Kuwaiti heatwave triggers inadvisable TikTok expletive outburst

Desert storm of entirely the wrong kind lands unfortunate Egyptian national in very hot water

30 Jun 21:14 | 24

Study finds crayfish treated with antidepressants become more outgoing, adventurous

Clawed critters less depressed as human drugs pollute their freshwater homes

29 Jun 09:16 | 14

Bork!Bork!Bork!

London Greenwich station: A reminder of former glories. Like Windows XP

Borkage haunts one of the oldest station buildings in the world

28 Jun 10:45 | 43

Wish you could play tabletop Dungeons & Dragons but have no friends? Solasta: Crown of the Magister offers a solution

Plus: A tale of tech woe and E3 best bits

26 Jun 07:03 | 30

US Supreme Court rules teens cussing out schools on social media is protected speech

F-bomb tirade cheerleader triumphs over school board in landmark First Amendment case

25 Jun 19:14 | 33

Bug at payments processor WorldPay swipes £2k+ per ride ticket from Brighton Pier revellers

yy/mm/dd. Yep that's £2,104.18 a ride for April beachgoers

25 Jun 15:00 | 39

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills

For the 3% who craved sweet and sour pork balls, it might be time to stop drinking

24 Jun 10:01 | 139

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