One click, one goal, one mission: To get a one-touch flush solution
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken
Bootnotes05 Nov 2021 | 76
Bootnotes
Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3
Who needs big pockets, right? Other than, you know, literally everyone
Bootnotes03 Nov 2021 | 72
Remember the 'guy in a jetpack' seen flying close to passenger jets? Probably just balloons, says FBI
Video Ah well, back to panicking over imaginary drones, then
Bootnotes03 Nov 2021 | 23
What a clock up: Brit TV-broadband giant Sky fails to pick up weekend's timezone change, fix due by Friday
We say GMT, you say BST, let's call the whole thing off
Bootnotes02 Nov 2021 | 107
Remember when you thought fax machines were dead-matter teleporters? Ah, just me, then
Something for the Weekend, Sir? No, things were NOT better in the past, so leave them there
Bootnotes29 Oct 2021 | 132
Florida man accused of breaking Mastodon's open-source license with botched social network launch
Updated Golf enthusiast given 30 days to cough up code
Bootnotes23 Oct 2021 | 56
'Windows 11 has been successfully downloaded,' says update for Xbox version of Microsoft Flight Simulator
What? No. Noooooooooooooooooo
Bootnotes21 Oct 2021 | 16
Facebook posts job ad for 10,000 'high-skilled' roles to 'build the metaverse' – and they'll all be based in the EU
Announcement uses the phrase 'world-leading' without referring to UK once
Bootnotes18 Oct 2021 | 47
Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day
Jamie and Amanda have a new co-presenter to contend with
Bootnotes18 Oct 2021 | 25
Missouri governor demands prosecution of reporter for 'decoding HTML source code' and reporting a data breach
Salus populi suprema lex esto ... or perhaps not
Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 105
Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival
Bork!Bork!Bork! Washington Metro admin has taken an early lunch
Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 25
All I want for Christmas is a delivery address that a delivery courier can find
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Send me an SMS and I’ll tell you everything
Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 157
Mind your Ps and queues: Bork makes a visit to the A&E
Bork!Bork!Bork! Thanks Windows! Now this is the kind of hospital data-sharing we like to see...
Bootnotes14 Oct 2021 | 19
Macintosh Classic II and triceratops skull on auction: One's a dinosaur, the other has three horns on its face
Christie's 'Science and Natural History' collection isn't joking when it says it's 'a journey in time'
Bootnotes13 Oct 2021 | 19
Twitch increases bug bounty payouts after source code leak by... wait, is that it?
Reg reader sighs at 'Orwellian gig economy' sums
Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 33
Instagram is testing feature that tells panicking users the service is broken again
Have you tried reading books?
Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 46
Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for
Bork!Bork!Bork! It's what The Chef would want
Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 16
US nuclear submarine bumps into unidentified underwater object in South China Sea
Definitely not another sub, oh no sir
Bootnotes08 Oct 2021 | 101
Confusion at Gare de Rennes as Windows shuffles off for a Gauloise
Bork!Bork!Bork! Je suis un bork star
Bootnotes04 Oct 2021 | 20
Maker of ATM bombing tutorials blew himself up – Euro cops
Vid filming ended in deadly disaster
Bootnotes02 Oct 2021 | 155
Danish artist pockets museum's cash and calls it art... and other stories
Roundup Another convocation of confusion from around the world that you may have missed
Bootnotes01 Oct 2021 | 16
Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots'
Yes, it's UK's turn for a fuel shortage
Bootnotes01 Oct 2021 | 192
US school districts blame Amazon for nationwide bus driver shortage
PA, MA bring in National Guard to plug gaps, while Boston teacher tells of stripper bus hired for school trip
Bootnotes29 Sep 2021 | 91
Years of development, millions of lines of code, and Android can't even run a toilet
Bork!Bork!Bork! I'll show you 'highly targeted'
Bootnotes29 Sep 2021 | 70
'Extraordinary' pigs step in to protect Schiphol airport from marauding geese
Plane-wrecking idiot fowl sent packing by heroic porcine defenders of commercial aviation
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 74
A crypto-trading hamster is outperforming the S&P 500, Nasdaq, Bitcoin
As much as I wanted to be Gordon Gekko, I'll always be Mr Goxx
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 20
Chocgate: The fallout. Partially taxpayer-funded £6k+ staff luxury treats land ICO in lukewarm water
But it's OK. What's it gonna do – fine itself?
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 25
Take a look, and you'll see... Windows XP? Bit of Dairy Milk, Fruit and Bork at Cadbury World
Bork!Bork!Bork! It's quite the show at the OTHER chocolate factory
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 18
Want to feel old? Aussie cyclist draws Nirvana baby in Strava on streets of Adelaide because Nevermind is 30
Meanwhile, Nirvana baby unchuffed about being Nirvana baby
Bootnotes27 Sep 2021 | 38
Parking is expensive. It can cost an arm, a leg, and a Windows licence
Bork!Bork!Bork! Activate Windows and put up a parking lot
Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 11
Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?
Something for the Weekend, Sir? It'll all come out in the wash
Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 115
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo
Bork!Bork!Bork! Up above the streets and houses, XP's flying high
Bootnotes23 Sep 2021 | 11
Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia
Between COVID and corvids, Canberrans can't catch a break
Bootnotes23 Sep 2021 | 23
Ofcom swears at the general public for five days during obscenity survey
NSFW 'Warning: this report contains highly offensive language and discussion of content which may cause offence'
Bootnotes22 Sep 2021 | 80
Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status
Inclusion of Weetabix in charity coffee accompaniment tweet creates predictable brewhaha
Bootnotes21 Sep 2021 | 154
A Burger King where the only Whopper is the BSOD font
Bork!Bork!Bork! Come for the bork, stay for the burger
Bootnotes20 Sep 2021 | 13
Punchy Biden-lookalike grandad goes viral for fighting boxing gadget
'If you don't get your timing right you get whacked round the back of the head' admits scrappy octogenarian
Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 14
Sometimes we all feel a bit like Shutting Down. So just imagine how tired Windows 7 is
Bork!Bork!Bork! So many stuck trains, so many cancellations. Giant blue screen of Nope, we salute you.
Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 10
So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it
Something for the Weekend, Sir? J’appuie sur le starter et voici que je quitte la terre
Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 119
Bepanted shovel-toting farmer wins privacy payout from France TV
Updated Unwitting star of #Slipgate viral images awarded reduced damages, tempts Streisand effect
Bootnotes16 Sep 2021 | 22
The Register speaks to one of the designers behind the latest Lego Ideas marvel: A clockwork solar system
Who needs a 3,000-piece orrery? We do, of course
Bootnotes15 Sep 2021 | 44
Running on empty, out of battery, power draining... three things the UK government definitely isn't. Oh no
Bork!Bork!Bork! Video connected – check. Plugged into the mains? Er...
Bootnotes14 Sep 2021 | 15
NYC subway SNAFU probably caused by someone turning it off accidentally, say reports
OK, so you're halfway there. Now have you tried switching the network back on again?
Bootnotes13 Sep 2021 | 31
Fortnite banana can appear in court naked says judge in Epic vs Apple legal footnote
Legal questions still remain over whether this judgment applies to all bananas or just that one
Bootnotes13 Sep 2021 | 29
This is not the tech unicorn you are looking for... and other stories
Roundup Another weekly digest of strangeness from around the world that you may have missed
Bootnotes12 Sep 2021 | 19
Music festivals are back in the UK. So is the background bork
Bork!Bork!Bork! Stage fright? Or the knowledge that Windows is lurking behind you
Bootnotes10 Sep 2021 | 25
You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Please hold me back from the discount aisle in case I buy a USB desk fan
Bootnotes10 Sep 2021 | 116
SAP 'investigating' after viral video allegedly shows anti-mask employee coughing on shoppers
Updated COVIDiot caught on film harassing others for following pandemic precautions
Bootnotes08 Sep 2021 | 64
Council culture: Software test leads to absurd local planning SNAFU
Swale Borough Council faced with hefty bill for junior IT hero's whimsical afternoon's work
Bootnotes08 Sep 2021 | 75
With a Lidl bit of luck, this Windows installation will make it through the night
Bork!Bork!Bork! Microsoft's finest just needs a nudge
Bootnotes08 Sep 2021 | 13
Italian stuntman flies aeroplane through two motorway tunnels
Sponsor Red Bull supposedly gives you wings, but that doesn't mean you have to use them everywhere
Bootnotes06 Sep 2021 | 73
Spraying a boot error up the bathroom wall
Bork!Bork!Bork! Taking the Pis in Paris
Bootnotes06 Sep 2021 | 16
Virginia school board learns a hard lesson... and other stories
ROUNDUP A confluence of recent confusion from around the world that you may have missed
Bootnotes05 Sep 2021 | 44
The unit of measure for fatbergs is not hippopotami, even if the operator of an Australian sewer says so
Thou shalt not infringe upon the Register Standards Soviet
Bootnotes02 Sep 2021 | 102
Volkswagen to stop making its best-selling product for Wolfsburg workers: VW-branded sausages
Updated Environmentally damaging old bangers to be replaced with greener veggie versions.. in 1 of its canteens, at least
Bootnotes01 Sep 2021 | 84
British naval food doesn't look half bad... so we're going to try it out for ourselves
Boatnotes Announcing the return of El Reg's Boatnotes series with the RN
Bootnotes27 Aug 2021 | 47
The Register recreates Apollo 15 through the medium of plastic bricks, 50 years on
Feature Building the missing spacecraft in Lego's NASA collection
Bootnotes27 Aug 2021 | 27
'No peeing towards Russia' sign appears on country's Arctic border with Norway
Don't poke the bear! Or urinate on it
Bootnotes26 Aug 2021 | 58
Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain
Will this nightmare ever cease?
Bootnotes24 Aug 2021 | 313
Cop drone crashes into flight instructor's airplane
The plod needs a lesson in keeping air traffic controllers in the loop, it seems
Bootnotes23 Aug 2021 | 30
