A proposal to beat below-the-belt selfies: Crowdsourced machine learning using victims' image stashes
Column Empty your inboxes, people, we can duck this problem together
Bootnotes22 Dec 2021 | 77
Bootnotes
Thank you, FAQ chatbot, but if I want your help I'll ask for it
Something for the Weekend, Sir? It’s FAQing annoying to tell the truth
Bootnotes17 Dec 2021 | 166
Playing jigsaw on my roof: They can ID you from your hygiene habits
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Pat McGovern knew his way around a trash can
Bootnotes10 Dec 2021 | 74
OK, boomer? Gen-X-ers, elder millennials most likely to name their cars, says DVLA
Most bizarre names chosen by UK drivers included ZZ Top and The Beast
Bootnotes09 Dec 2021 | 96
Fail: Exam paper marked by Elon Musk up for auction
Sweary test on sale as Tesla CEO forgets where he parked his car
Bootnotes06 Dec 2021 | 12
Battlefield 2042: Please don't be the death knell of the franchise, please don't be the death knell of the franchise
The RPG Another terrible launch, but DICE is already working on improvements
Bootnotes04 Dec 2021 | 31
One white cat and a volcano short of a Bond villain: Rocket Lab's Peter Beck shows off the 'Hungry Hippo'
Neutron updated, but the Spectre of SpaceX looms
Bootnotes03 Dec 2021 | 26
When you think of a unit of length, do you think of Antony Gormley's rusty anatomy?
Angel of the North asteroid story upsets us mightily
Bootnotes03 Dec 2021 | 50
What a bunch of bricks: Crooks knock hole in toyshop wall, flee with €35k Lego haul
Police still trying to piece everything together
Bootnotes02 Dec 2021 | 106
You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?
Something for the Weekend, Sir? 'Just take the meds, Mr Sloper, and enjoy your holiday'
Bootnotes26 Nov 2021 | 121
Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life
Just $8,300!
Bootnotes25 Nov 2021 | 60
Joint venture: Uber Eats to offer weed orders in Ontario
O Cannabis! Meanwhile, ride biz back to court in the UK over driver contracts
Bootnotes23 Nov 2021 | 17
From the studio that brought you 'Mortal Wombat' comes 'Pernicious Possum'
Woman tells New Zealand police she was held hostage by small marsupial
Bootnotes16 Nov 2021 | 30
Cruel and unusual IT fail upstages Megan Fox. Transformers: Windows in disguise
Bork!Bork!Bork! Check your outputs, kids
Bootnotes15 Nov 2021 | 21
Still reeling from the Great Facebook Blackout of 2021? Turns out Zuck is not the worst offender
Uswitch's survey may surprise you – or not. Depends how much you like Reddit
Bootnotes11 Nov 2021 | 4
Ofcom announces plan to protect endangered species – the Great British phone box
BT is getting axe-happy but regulator's scheme could save 5,000 kiosks
Bootnotes10 Nov 2021 | 32
One click, one goal, one mission: To get a one-touch flush solution
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken
Bootnotes05 Nov 2021 | 76
Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3
Who needs big pockets, right? Other than, you know, literally everyone
Bootnotes03 Nov 2021 | 72
Remember the 'guy in a jetpack' seen flying close to passenger jets? Probably just balloons, says FBI
Video Ah well, back to panicking over imaginary drones, then
Bootnotes03 Nov 2021 | 23
What a clock up: Brit TV-broadband giant Sky fails to pick up weekend's timezone change, fix due by Friday
We say GMT, you say BST, let's call the whole thing off
Bootnotes02 Nov 2021 | 107
Remember when you thought fax machines were dead-matter teleporters? Ah, just me, then
Something for the Weekend, Sir? No, things were NOT better in the past, so leave them there
Bootnotes29 Oct 2021 | 131
Florida man accused of breaking Mastodon's open-source license with botched social network launch
Updated Golf enthusiast given 30 days to cough up code
Bootnotes23 Oct 2021 | 56
'Windows 11 has been successfully downloaded,' says update for Xbox version of Microsoft Flight Simulator
What? No. Noooooooooooooooooo
Bootnotes21 Oct 2021 | 16
Facebook posts job ad for 10,000 'high-skilled' roles to 'build the metaverse' – and they'll all be based in the EU
Announcement uses the phrase 'world-leading' without referring to UK once
Bootnotes18 Oct 2021 | 47
Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day
Jamie and Amanda have a new co-presenter to contend with
Bootnotes18 Oct 2021 | 25
Missouri governor demands prosecution of reporter for 'decoding HTML source code' and reporting a data breach
Salus populi suprema lex esto ... or perhaps not
Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 105
Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival
Bork!Bork!Bork! Washington Metro admin has taken an early lunch
Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 25
All I want for Christmas is a delivery address that a delivery courier can find
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Send me an SMS and I’ll tell you everything
Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 157
Mind your Ps and queues: Bork makes a visit to the A&E
Bork!Bork!Bork! Thanks Windows! Now this is the kind of hospital data-sharing we like to see...
Bootnotes14 Oct 2021 | 19
Macintosh Classic II and triceratops skull on auction: One's a dinosaur, the other has three horns on its face
Christie's 'Science and Natural History' collection isn't joking when it says it's 'a journey in time'
Bootnotes13 Oct 2021 | 19
Twitch increases bug bounty payouts after source code leak by... wait, is that it?
Reg reader sighs at 'Orwellian gig economy' sums
Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 33
Instagram is testing feature that tells panicking users the service is broken again
Have you tried reading books?
Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 46
Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for
Bork!Bork!Bork! It's what The Chef would want
Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 16
US nuclear submarine bumps into unidentified underwater object in South China Sea
Definitely not another sub, oh no sir
Bootnotes08 Oct 2021 | 101
Confusion at Gare de Rennes as Windows shuffles off for a Gauloise
Bork!Bork!Bork! Je suis un bork star
Bootnotes04 Oct 2021 | 20
Maker of ATM bombing tutorials blew himself up – Euro cops
Vid filming ended in deadly disaster
Bootnotes02 Oct 2021 | 155
Danish artist pockets museum's cash and calls it art... and other stories
Roundup Another convocation of confusion from around the world that you may have missed
Bootnotes01 Oct 2021 | 16
Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots'
Yes, it's UK's turn for a fuel shortage
Bootnotes01 Oct 2021 | 192
US school districts blame Amazon for nationwide bus driver shortage
PA, MA bring in National Guard to plug gaps, while Boston teacher tells of stripper bus hired for school trip
Bootnotes29 Sep 2021 | 91
Years of development, millions of lines of code, and Android can't even run a toilet
Bork!Bork!Bork! I'll show you 'highly targeted'
Bootnotes29 Sep 2021 | 70
'Extraordinary' pigs step in to protect Schiphol airport from marauding geese
Plane-wrecking idiot fowl sent packing by heroic porcine defenders of commercial aviation
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 75
A crypto-trading hamster is outperforming the S&P 500, Nasdaq, Bitcoin
As much as I wanted to be Gordon Gekko, I'll always be Mr Goxx
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 20
Chocgate: The fallout. Partially taxpayer-funded £6k+ staff luxury treats land ICO in lukewarm water
But it's OK. What's it gonna do – fine itself?
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 25
Take a look, and you'll see... Windows XP? Bit of Dairy Milk, Fruit and Bork at Cadbury World
Bork!Bork!Bork! It's quite the show at the OTHER chocolate factory
Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 18
Want to feel old? Aussie cyclist draws Nirvana baby in Strava on streets of Adelaide because Nevermind is 30
Meanwhile, Nirvana baby unchuffed about being Nirvana baby
Bootnotes27 Sep 2021 | 38
Parking is expensive. It can cost an arm, a leg, and a Windows licence
Bork!Bork!Bork! Activate Windows and put up a parking lot
Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 11
Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?
Something for the Weekend, Sir? It'll all come out in the wash
Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 115
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo
Bork!Bork!Bork! Up above the streets and houses, XP's flying high
Bootnotes23 Sep 2021 | 11
Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia
Between COVID and corvids, Canberrans can't catch a break
Bootnotes23 Sep 2021 | 23
Ofcom swears at the general public for five days during obscenity survey
NSFW 'Warning: this report contains highly offensive language and discussion of content which may cause offence'
Bootnotes22 Sep 2021 | 80
Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status
Inclusion of Weetabix in charity coffee accompaniment tweet creates predictable brewhaha
Bootnotes21 Sep 2021 | 154
A Burger King where the only Whopper is the BSOD font
Bork!Bork!Bork! Come for the bork, stay for the burger
Bootnotes20 Sep 2021 | 16
Punchy Biden-lookalike grandad goes viral for fighting boxing gadget
'If you don't get your timing right you get whacked round the back of the head' admits scrappy octogenarian
Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 14
Sometimes we all feel a bit like Shutting Down. So just imagine how tired Windows 7 is
Bork!Bork!Bork! So many stuck trains, so many cancellations. Giant blue screen of Nope, we salute you.
Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 10
So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it
Something for the Weekend, Sir? J’appuie sur le starter et voici que je quitte la terre
Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 119
Bepanted shovel-toting farmer wins privacy payout from France TV
Updated Unwitting star of #Slipgate viral images awarded reduced damages, tempts Streisand effect
Bootnotes16 Sep 2021 | 22
The Register speaks to one of the designers behind the latest Lego Ideas marvel: A clockwork solar system
Who needs a 3,000-piece orrery? We do, of course
Bootnotes15 Sep 2021 | 44
Running on empty, out of battery, power draining... three things the UK government definitely isn't. Oh no
Bork!Bork!Bork! Video connected – check. Plugged into the mains? Er...
Bootnotes14 Sep 2021 | 15
NYC subway SNAFU probably caused by someone turning it off accidentally, say reports
OK, so you're halfway there. Now have you tried switching the network back on again?
Bootnotes13 Sep 2021 | 31
Fortnite banana can appear in court naked says judge in Epic vs Apple legal footnote
Legal questions still remain over whether this judgment applies to all bananas or just that one
Bootnotes13 Sep 2021 | 29
Biting the hand that feeds IT
