Facebook posts job ad for 10,000 'high-skilled' roles to 'build the metaverse' – and they'll all be based in the EU Announcement uses the phrase 'world-leading' without referring to UK once Bootnotes18 Oct 2021 | 47
Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day Jamie and Amanda have a new co-presenter to contend with Bootnotes18 Oct 2021 | 25
Missouri governor demands prosecution of reporter for 'decoding HTML source code' and reporting a data breach Salus populi suprema lex esto ... or perhaps not Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 106
Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival Bork!Bork!Bork! Washington Metro admin has taken an early lunch Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 25
All I want for Christmas is a delivery address that a delivery courier can find Something for the Weekend, Sir? Send me an SMS and I’ll tell you everything Bootnotes15 Oct 2021 | 157
Mind your Ps and queues: Bork makes a visit to the A&E Bork!Bork!Bork! Thanks Windows! Now this is the kind of hospital data-sharing we like to see... Bootnotes14 Oct 2021 | 19
Macintosh Classic II and triceratops skull on auction: One's a dinosaur, the other has three horns on its face Christie's 'Science and Natural History' collection isn't joking when it says it's 'a journey in time' Bootnotes13 Oct 2021 | 19
Twitch increases bug bounty payouts after source code leak by... wait, is that it? Reg reader sighs at 'Orwellian gig economy' sums Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 33
Instagram is testing feature that tells panicking users the service is broken again Have you tried reading books? Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 46
Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for Bork!Bork!Bork! It's what The Chef would want Bootnotes12 Oct 2021 | 16
US nuclear submarine bumps into unidentified underwater object in South China Sea Definitely not another sub, oh no sir Bootnotes08 Oct 2021 | 101
Confusion at Gare de Rennes as Windows shuffles off for a Gauloise Bork!Bork!Bork! Je suis un bork star Bootnotes04 Oct 2021 | 20
Maker of ATM bombing tutorials blew himself up – Euro cops Vid filming ended in deadly disaster Bootnotes02 Oct 2021 | 155
Danish artist pockets museum's cash and calls it art... and other stories Roundup Another convocation of confusion from around the world that you may have missed Bootnotes01 Oct 2021 | 16
Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots' Yes, it's UK's turn for a fuel shortage Bootnotes01 Oct 2021 | 192
US school districts blame Amazon for nationwide bus driver shortage PA, MA bring in National Guard to plug gaps, while Boston teacher tells of stripper bus hired for school trip Bootnotes29 Sep 2021 | 91
Years of development, millions of lines of code, and Android can't even run a toilet Bork!Bork!Bork! I'll show you 'highly targeted' Bootnotes29 Sep 2021 | 70
'Extraordinary' pigs step in to protect Schiphol airport from marauding geese Plane-wrecking idiot fowl sent packing by heroic porcine defenders of commercial aviation Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 75
A crypto-trading hamster is outperforming the S&P 500, Nasdaq, Bitcoin As much as I wanted to be Gordon Gekko, I'll always be Mr Goxx Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 20
Chocgate: The fallout. Partially taxpayer-funded £6k+ staff luxury treats land ICO in lukewarm water But it's OK. What's it gonna do – fine itself? Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 25
Take a look, and you'll see... Windows XP? Bit of Dairy Milk, Fruit and Bork at Cadbury World Bork!Bork!Bork! It's quite the show at the OTHER chocolate factory Bootnotes28 Sep 2021 | 18
Want to feel old? Aussie cyclist draws Nirvana baby in Strava on streets of Adelaide because Nevermind is 30 Meanwhile, Nirvana baby unchuffed about being Nirvana baby Bootnotes27 Sep 2021 | 38
Parking is expensive. It can cost an arm, a leg, and a Windows licence Bork!Bork!Bork! Activate Windows and put up a parking lot Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 11
Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant? Something for the Weekend, Sir? It'll all come out in the wash Bootnotes24 Sep 2021 | 114
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo Bork!Bork!Bork! Up above the streets and houses, XP's flying high Bootnotes23 Sep 2021 | 11
Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia Between COVID and corvids, Canberrans can't catch a break Bootnotes23 Sep 2021 | 23
Ofcom swears at the general public for five days during obscenity survey NSFW 'Warning: this report contains highly offensive language and discussion of content which may cause offence' Bootnotes22 Sep 2021 | 80
Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status Inclusion of Weetabix in charity coffee accompaniment tweet creates predictable brewhaha Bootnotes21 Sep 2021 | 154
A Burger King where the only Whopper is the BSOD font Bork!Bork!Bork! Come for the bork, stay for the burger Bootnotes20 Sep 2021 | 16
Punchy Biden-lookalike grandad goes viral for fighting boxing gadget 'If you don't get your timing right you get whacked round the back of the head' admits scrappy octogenarian Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 14
Sometimes we all feel a bit like Shutting Down. So just imagine how tired Windows 7 is Bork!Bork!Bork! So many stuck trains, so many cancellations. Giant blue screen of Nope, we salute you. Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 10
So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it Something for the Weekend, Sir? J’appuie sur le starter et voici que je quitte la terre Bootnotes17 Sep 2021 | 119
Bepanted shovel-toting farmer wins privacy payout from France TV Updated Unwitting star of #Slipgate viral images awarded reduced damages, tempts Streisand effect Bootnotes16 Sep 2021 | 22
The Register speaks to one of the designers behind the latest Lego Ideas marvel: A clockwork solar system Who needs a 3,000-piece orrery? We do, of course Bootnotes15 Sep 2021 | 44
Running on empty, out of battery, power draining... three things the UK government definitely isn't. Oh no Bork!Bork!Bork! Video connected – check. Plugged into the mains? Er... Bootnotes14 Sep 2021 | 15
NYC subway SNAFU probably caused by someone turning it off accidentally, say reports OK, so you're halfway there. Now have you tried switching the network back on again? Bootnotes13 Sep 2021 | 31
Fortnite banana can appear in court naked says judge in Epic vs Apple legal footnote Legal questions still remain over whether this judgment applies to all bananas or just that one Bootnotes13 Sep 2021 | 29
This is not the tech unicorn you are looking for... and other stories Roundup Another weekly digest of strangeness from around the world that you may have missed Bootnotes12 Sep 2021 | 19
Music festivals are back in the UK. So is the background bork Bork!Bork!Bork! Stage fright? Or the knowledge that Windows is lurking behind you Bootnotes10 Sep 2021 | 25
You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Please hold me back from the discount aisle in case I buy a USB desk fan Bootnotes10 Sep 2021 | 116
SAP 'investigating' after viral video allegedly shows anti-mask employee coughing on shoppers Updated COVIDiot caught on film harassing others for following pandemic precautions Bootnotes08 Sep 2021 | 64
Council culture: Software test leads to absurd local planning SNAFU Swale Borough Council faced with hefty bill for junior IT hero's whimsical afternoon's work Bootnotes08 Sep 2021 | 75
With a Lidl bit of luck, this Windows installation will make it through the night Bork!Bork!Bork! Microsoft's finest just needs a nudge Bootnotes08 Sep 2021 | 13
Italian stuntman flies aeroplane through two motorway tunnels Sponsor Red Bull supposedly gives you wings, but that doesn't mean you have to use them everywhere Bootnotes06 Sep 2021 | 73
Spraying a boot error up the bathroom wall Bork!Bork!Bork! Taking the Pis in Paris Bootnotes06 Sep 2021 | 16
Virginia school board learns a hard lesson... and other stories ROUNDUP A confluence of recent confusion from around the world that you may have missed Bootnotes05 Sep 2021 | 44
The unit of measure for fatbergs is not hippopotami, even if the operator of an Australian sewer says so Thou shalt not infringe upon the Register Standards Soviet Bootnotes02 Sep 2021 | 102
Volkswagen to stop making its best-selling product for Wolfsburg workers: VW-branded sausages Updated Environmentally damaging old bangers to be replaced with greener veggie versions.. in 1 of its canteens, at least Bootnotes01 Sep 2021 | 84
British naval food doesn't look half bad... so we're going to try it out for ourselves Boatnotes Announcing the return of El Reg's Boatnotes series with the RN Bootnotes27 Aug 2021 | 47
The Register recreates Apollo 15 through the medium of plastic bricks, 50 years on Feature Building the missing spacecraft in Lego's NASA collection Bootnotes27 Aug 2021 | 27
'No peeing towards Russia' sign appears on country's Arctic border with Norway Don't poke the bear! Or urinate on it Bootnotes26 Aug 2021 | 58
Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain Will this nightmare ever cease? Bootnotes24 Aug 2021 | 313
Cop drone crashes into flight instructor's airplane The plod needs a lesson in keeping air traffic controllers in the loop, it seems Bootnotes23 Aug 2021 | 30
Live, die, copy-paste, repeat: Everything is recycled now, including ideas Something for the Weekend, Sir? We can't rewind, we've gone too far Bootnotes20 Aug 2021 | 58
Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland Harry Potter and the Unstoppable Simpletons Bootnotes18 Aug 2021 | 231
A Whopper of a bork for seekers of pre-flight nosh Bork!Bork!Bork! BSODs should be scary, not soothing Bootnotes17 Aug 2021 | 28
Please do not touch the exhibits – or this tabletop Windows Boot Manager Bork!Bork!Bork! Microsoft's OS once again where it shouldn't be Bootnotes16 Aug 2021 | 8
Tired: What3Words. Wired: A clone location-tracking service based on FOUR words – and they are all extremely rude NSFW A tour of UK tech HQs courtesy of some saucy Anglo-Saxonisms Bootnotes14 Aug 2021 | 110
Elevating bork to a new level (if the touchscreen worked) Bork!Bork!Bork! Who needs pesky buttons when the Internet of Bork is here? Bootnotes12 Aug 2021 | 62
Salesforce gets into the vid-streaming with original content caper, promises digital inspriation Netflix and friends are probably safe as only shows revealed so far are fronted by staff or streamed from its own conference Bootnotes12 Aug 2021 | 3