Who, Me?
How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component
He's not just a Big Cheese. He's a very naughty boy
31 Aug 08:36 | 68
Columnists
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers
Fixing laptops and solving UX conundra – all in a night’s work
27 Aug 11:24 | 151
On Call
Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick
When you have eliminated the impossible...
27 Aug 07:47 | 153
Opinion
Horizon Workrooms promises a virtual future of teal despair
Only one company can make VR so bad it makes MS Teams look good – Facebook
23 Aug 09:26 | 38
Who, Me?
Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?
The neverending battle betweeen youthful optimism and aged cyncism
23 Aug 08:25 | 102
On Call
So the data centre's 'getting a little hot' – at 57°C, that's quite the understatement
You know that thing that's supposed to put out the fire?
20 Aug 07:36 | 99
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device
An unexpected bork in the boarding area
11 Aug 10:04 | 18
Column
The web was done right the first time. An ancient 3D banana shows Microsoft does a lot right, too
It's wonderful that code written for Windows 3.1 still works well today
11 Aug 08:01 | 135
Who, Me?
How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware
Salesmen suffer after suspicious surfing
19 Jul 07:30 | 71
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection
Nudge that potted plant a little to the left aaaaand… action!
09 Jul 10:01 | 95
Bork!Bork!Bork!
If HAL did digital signage. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that...
My God! It's full of Bork!
14 Jun 10:47 | 17
Who, Me?
Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise
At least nobody said 'watch this!'
07 Jun 07:31 | 116
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful
I don’t care if the football’s on, we’ll have to watch whatever the TV wants us to
04 Jun 10:25 | 148
On Call
Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
04 Jun 07:30 | 150
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Nobody expects the borkish bank-wisition: When I said I wanted some notes from the ATM, I never thought I'd see...
...the vast emptiness of Notepad
28 May 11:30 | 16
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Nature is healing: Shhh. It's a lesser spotted Pi Bork nesting behind the bushes at IKEA
Hålp, I äm stuck in emergency möde
25 May 11:44 | 25
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility
Because our golf-obsessed boss has wandered off fondling his balls
14 May 08:30 | 86
Columnists
Beijing steps on Alibaba's Ant Group by forcing it to submit to same regulation as banks
Requires Alipay to open to competition but stops short of ordering company break up
13 Apr 05:57 | 9
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash
All inventions should be demonstrated by a puppet doing a Tommy Cooper impression
09 Apr 09:07 | 70
Who, Me?
A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?
Halt and catch fire
05 Apr 09:22 | 177
Popular
Science
Boffins say Martian colonists could pee in buckets, give blood if they want shelter
In terms of building materials, Mars has nothing to offer but blood, soil, sweat and tears. And urine. Lots of urine
Security
ExpressVPN bought for $1bn by Brit biz with an intriguing history in adware
'Kape has moved on from those times'
Software
Java 17 arrives with long-term support: What's new, and is it falling behind Kotlin?
Text blocks, sealed classes, switch expressions, records, and more
Patch Tuesday
Microsoft's end-of-summer software security cleanse crushes more than 80 bugs
Hole in Azure Linux guest agent, MSHTML exploit tackled, and much more – Plus: Adobe and SAP issue updates
Legal
Australia gave police power to compel sysadmins into assisting account takeovers – so they plan to use it
Soon, authorities intend to flush out CSAM and the creeps who share it. After that … privacy types are worried
Personal Tech
Apple debuts iPhone 13 with 1TB option, two iPad models, Series 7 Watch
Come for superlatives and executive enthusiasm, stay for the photographic enhancements
Security
Brits open doors for tech-enabled fraudsters because they 'don't want to seem rude'
Impersonation scams and smishing rocket, say UK Finance and Which?
AI + ML
US Air Force puts Godzilla in charge of autonomous warfare effort with Project Kaiju
Pulls Mothra, Mecha Rodan, King Ghidorah, Kumonga, and even King Kong along for the $150m ride
Databases
When ERP migrations go bad: Games Workshop says project issues are delaying refresh of 'dated' online store
Commissar Yarrick's bale eye focuses on company's web retail presence as 'long and complex' saga continues
Security
Thousands of internet-connected databases contain high or critical CVEs, says report by cloud security biz
Put your data on someone else's computer to keep it safe, urges Imperva
STORIES
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Easily distracted by too many apps, too many meetings, and too much asparagus
Nothing like a steaming bowl of freshly picked spaghetti
02 Apr 10:07 | 75
On Call
Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem
Register reader finds that some Apple fans are... not very bright?
02 Apr 08:04 | 196
Column
A Code War has replaced The Cold War. And right now we’re losing it
There’s always someone to blame for bad infosec, but never a willingness to make meaningful change
10 Mar 08:02 | 85
Stob
Stob's vital message to Britain's IT nation: And no, it's not about that
It's actually another Huawei down the 5G antennas
01 Apr 09:00 | 28
Stob
Verity Stob is 'Disgusted of HG Wells': Time, gentlemen, please
Drinking the Kool-Aid outside the box
28 Jan 10:45 | 58
Stob
In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze
My, what beautiful curly braces you have
27 Nov 09:04 | 117
Stob
The Pi who loved me: Licensed to SSL
Wherein Verity is troubled by a curious spam
16 Jul 08:05 | 29
Stob
Programmers' Question Time: Tiptoe through the tuples
Addressing the pro-horticulture/anti-nerdiculture bias
23 May 09:15 | 38
Stob
Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary
Chronicles of Delphi scribe podcasts, er, scribbles her musings
23 Jan 09:14 | 52
Stob
That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you
It's sing-along-a-Stob time
14 Nov 10:18 | 20
Stob
30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days
Happy anniversary, readers, from the original Git it girl
20 Sep 09:24 | 143
Stob
The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass
Bug behaviour in the wild
21 May 08:51 | 36
Stob
There are 10 types of people in the world, but there is only one Melvyn
Verity puts a Bragg in your shell-like
28 Mar 08:05 | 42
Devops
2001: A Stob Odyssey
Open the chuffing pod bay doors yourself, Dave
28 Nov 10:57 | 22
Stob
Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers
Lest we forget
19 Sep 09:14 | 56
Stob
Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun
He's both the sharpest tool AND two spanners short
28 Mar 09:00 | 88
