On Call
Nothing's working, and I've checked everything, so it must be YOUR fault
Yes, but are you sure? Really sure?
07 Jan 08:35 | 161
Columnists
The RPG
Halo Infinite ups the nostalgia factor for fans of the originals, but it's not without limits
343 Industries brings open world to the long-running military sci-fi epic
05 Jan 09:32 | 9
Opinion
The year ahead in technology fail: You knew they were bad, now they're going to prove it
Stock up on schadenfreude, it may be 2022's most popular commodity
04 Jan 09:02 | 77
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Predictive Dirty Dozen: What will and won't happen in 2022 (unless it doesn’t/does)
We confidently predict that the predictions in this article will turn out wrong
31 Dec 09:07 | 211
12BoC
Microsoft Paint + car park touchscreen = You already know where this is going
I'll just pay the- OH MY GOD
26 Dec 09:01 | 56
12BoC
Not the kind of note you want to see fluttering from an ATM
This won't buy me beer
25 Dec 09:01 | 34
On Call
Who you gonna call? Premium numbers, but a not-so-premium service
Let me take you back – way back – to 1998
24 Dec 10:28 | 134
Opinion
Log4j and Omicron: Brothers in harm, mothers of invention
That which does not kill us can still ruin our Christmas
20 Dec 10:33 | 36
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
A smarter alternative to password recognition could be right in front of us: Unique, invisible, maybe even deadly
Take your breath awayyyyyyyy
03 Dec 10:27 | 81
The RPG
New World: Grindy? Check. Repetitive? Check. Fun? We hate to say it... but check
Goddamn it, Jeff Bezos' lot can make a passable MMORPG after all
30 Oct 09:38 | 31
Who, Me?
Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone
Yet another thing that was really not better in the old days
11 Oct 08:32 | 71
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Get real: Say what you like about your app but don't be surprised if I trollsplain
My next column will be written in spaaaaaace
08 Oct 10:14 | 57
Who, Me?
How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component
He's not just a Big Cheese. He's a very naughty boy
31 Aug 08:36 | 69
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers
Fixing laptops and solving UX conundra – all in a night’s work
27 Aug 11:24 | 151
On Call
Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick
When you have eliminated the impossible...
27 Aug 07:47 | 162
Opinion
Horizon Workrooms promises a virtual future of teal despair
Only one company can make VR so bad it makes MS Teams look good – Facebook
23 Aug 09:26 | 38
Who, Me?
Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?
The neverending battle betweeen youthful optimism and aged cyncism
23 Aug 08:25 | 103
On Call
So the data centre's 'getting a little hot' – at 57°C, that's quite the understatement
You know that thing that's supposed to put out the fire?
20 Aug 07:36 | 102
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device
An unexpected bork in the boarding area
11 Aug 10:04 | 18
Column
The web was done right the first time. An ancient 3D banana shows Microsoft does a lot right, too
It's wonderful that code written for Windows 3.1 still works well today
11 Aug 08:01 | 135
Popular
Legal
Software engineer jailed for 2 years after using RATs and crypters to steal underage victims' intimate pics
Another one who pleaded autism in mitigation
Software
Open source maintainer threatens to throw in the towel if companies won't ante up
Apache PLC4X creator ends free support, asks for payment for his work
OSes
Linux Mint 20.3 appears – now with more Mozilla flavor: Why this distro switched Firefox defaults back to Google
Oh, Snap
Opinion
Open source isn't the security problem – misusing it is
Security is a process, not a product
Patch Tuesday
Microsoft starts 2022 with big bundle fixes for 96 security bugs in its software
Nothing is certain except death, taxes, and programming errors
Applications
'IwlIj jachjaj! Incoming LibreOffice 7.3 to support Klingon and Interslavic
Don't worry, there is a point to this
On-Prem
US Senator Marco Rubio calls Intel cowards for scrubbing remarks about Xinjiang and apologizing to China
Was no one else available? No one?
Security
Ransomware puts New Mexico prison in lockdown: Cameras, doors go offline
Bernalillo County's Metropolitan Detention Center still recovering from infection
Security
Austrian watchdog rules German company's use of Google Analytics breached GDPR by sending data to US
Schrems II ruling continues to trouble transatlantic data sharing
Security
Info-saturated techie builds bug alert service that phones you to warn of new vulns
Or SMSes, if the idea of midnight robot calls worries you
STORIES
Who, Me?
How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware
Salesmen suffer after suspicious surfing
19 Jul 07:30 | 71
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection
Nudge that potted plant a little to the left aaaaand… action!
09 Jul 10:01 | 96
Bork!Bork!Bork!
If HAL did digital signage. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that...
My God! It's full of Bork!
14 Jun 10:47 | 17
Who, Me?
Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise
At least nobody said 'watch this!'
07 Jun 07:31 | 116
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful
I don’t care if the football’s on, we’ll have to watch whatever the TV wants us to
04 Jun 10:25 | 148
On Call
Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
04 Jun 07:30 | 151
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Nobody expects the borkish bank-wisition: When I said I wanted some notes from the ATM, I never thought I'd see...
...the vast emptiness of Notepad
28 May 11:30 | 16
Bork!Bork!Bork!
Nature is healing: Shhh. It's a lesser spotted Pi Bork nesting behind the bushes at IKEA
Hålp, I äm stuck in emergency möde
25 May 11:44 | 25
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility
Because our golf-obsessed boss has wandered off fondling his balls
14 May 08:30 | 86
Columnists
Beijing steps on Alibaba's Ant Group by forcing it to submit to same regulation as banks
Requires Alipay to open to competition but stops short of ordering company break up
13 Apr 05:57 | 9
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash
All inventions should be demonstrated by a puppet doing a Tommy Cooper impression
09 Apr 09:07 | 70
Who, Me?
A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?
Halt and catch fire
05 Apr 09:22 | 177
Something for the Weekend, Sir?
Easily distracted by too many apps, too many meetings, and too much asparagus
Nothing like a steaming bowl of freshly picked spaghetti
02 Apr 10:07 | 75
On Call
Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem
Register reader finds that some Apple fans are... not very bright?
02 Apr 08:04 | 196
Column
A Code War has replaced The Cold War. And right now we’re losing it
There’s always someone to blame for bad infosec, but never a willingness to make meaningful change
10 Mar 08:02 | 85
Stob
Stob's vital message to Britain's IT nation: And no, it's not about that
It's actually another Huawei down the 5G antennas
01 Apr 09:00 | 28
Stob
Verity Stob is 'Disgusted of HG Wells': Time, gentlemen, please
Drinking the Kool-Aid outside the box
28 Jan 10:45 | 58
Stob
In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze
My, what beautiful curly braces you have
27 Nov 09:04 | 117
Stob
The Pi who loved me: Licensed to SSL
Wherein Verity is troubled by a curious spam
16 Jul 08:05 | 29
Stob
Programmers' Question Time: Tiptoe through the tuples
Addressing the pro-horticulture/anti-nerdiculture bias
23 May 09:15 | 38
Stob
Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary
Chronicles of Delphi scribe podcasts, er, scribbles her musings
23 Jan 09:14 | 52
Stob
That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you
It's sing-along-a-Stob time
14 Nov 10:18 | 20
Stob
30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days
Happy anniversary, readers, from the original Git it girl
20 Sep 09:24 | 143
Stob
The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass
Bug behaviour in the wild
21 May 08:51 | 36
Stob
There are 10 types of people in the world, but there is only one Melvyn
Verity puts a Bragg in your shell-like
28 Mar 08:05 | 42
Devops
2001: A Stob Odyssey
Open the chuffing pod bay doors yourself, Dave
28 Nov 10:57 | 22
Stob
Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers
Lest we forget
19 Sep 09:14 | 56
Stob
Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun
He's both the sharpest tool AND two spanners short
28 Mar 09:00 | 88
Stob
Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed
Where's pocket Bjarne Stroustrup when you need him?
20 Jan 10:03 | 57
STOB
Brexit at the next junction: Verity's guide to key post-vote skills
Breaking up is hard to do
26 Sep 08:59 | 75
Stob
Washed out summer? Fear ye not: DVDs for DevOps droogs
Virtual box sets for REAL IT pros
26 Jul 08:27 | 23
Stob
The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey
Verily, they did make support for the Internet of Things
20 May 08:40 | 48
Stob
Alice, Bob and Verity, too. Yeah, everybody's got a story, pal
Bus bore claims saucy crypto bragging rights
07 Mar 13:04 | 45
Stob
Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!
I remember the Monoids; they came before the Cybermen
13 Jan 12:34 | 138
Stob
A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation
Verity publishes the real script of Turing biopic The Imitation Game
26 Jan 13:08 | 59
Stob
V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones
GUARANTEED no elves and hardly any violence. Or incest
18 Dec 09:00 | 26
Stob
Today's bugs have BRANDS? Be still my bleeding heart [logo]
Code-slinger Verity reviews the rash of groovy-named open-source security vulns
01 May 07:02 | 108
Stob
Eight EXCELLENT languages for the fondleslab-friendly Intranet of Thingies
Shifting software paradigms and so forth
20 Jan 10:01 | 54
Stob
Three Men in a Tardis
Verity has discovered a pre-Doctor Doctor Who episode
12 Nov 13:23 | 35
Stob
Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII
We were sold a lie. It's time to go back to 8-bit
04 Oct 09:03 | 198
Stob
Verity's summer songs for programmers: Sing your pals to sleep()
When Irish IDEs are smiling, and so on
22 Jul 09:43 | 8
Stob
Bjarne Again: Hallelujah for C++
Plus: Now officially OK to admit you never used STL algorithms
17 Jun 12:05 | 102
Stob
In space, no one can hear your laptop Blue Screen
Way above the Cloud, there's a bring-your-own-disaster brewing on the ISS
07 May 06:03 | 14
Stob
Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash
Does your source code editor pass the Verity test?
11 Mar 09:02 | 229
Stob
Who ate all the Pis?
Verity Xmas wish comes true
29 Jan 11:44 | 84
Stob
8086 and All That. Revisited
Back when England was Top Nation in computing: reassembled from ancient parchments
22 Dec 11:01 | 27
Stob
The Sons of Kahn and the assembly language of the internet
C# hath become a lonely path. And the Beast hath shut its gates against us
11 Dec 10:00 | 49
Stob Special
Stob on Quatermass: Was this British TV's finest sci-fi hour?
Let's shake the dead fly out of the DVD
08 Nov 11:00 | 59
Stob
Five go wild with the Administration Tools Pack
Nobody owns the Linuxes, Julian
23 Oct 10:00 | 17
Stob
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love IPv6
You make my heart go Ping
21 Aug 10:01 | 79
Stob
Welcome, friend, to Metroland
You Betjeman
09 Jul 08:33 | 30
Stob
Stuck in a dull conference? You need Verity's survival guide
Getting your own back on technical seminar speakers
14 May 09:19 | 39
Stob
Hold on, Booker prize judges - Stob's penned a steampunk hit
Everyone has a novel in them. Sadly this includes Reg columnist Verity
17 Apr 07:33 | 40
Stob
Molesworth and the New Latin
'Why must we lurn about computa sciense sur? Why?'
27 Feb 13:19 | 81
Stob
The Sons of Khan and the Pascal Spring
How Embarcadero made Delphi as groovy as a Lumia phone. Um...
16 Jan 13:02 | 28
Stob
Riders of the Bearded Sage
Is that a dead parrot in your pocket, or are you just trying to please me?
21 Nov 10:11 | 11
Stob
Doctor Who and the Unsatisfactory Five Hole Tape Punch
Early world-dominating computers of the series
07 Nov 10:30 | 33
Stob
Verity's secret shame revealed
Password techniques and retrospective Daleks
19 Sep 09:41 | 71
Stob
Here lies
Here lies /^v.+b$/i
Which programming language to use on one's headstone?
22 Aug 12:20 | 201
Stob
Educating Verity the OU way
'The skin of my C++ custard remained unruffled'
18 Jul 10:00 | 46
Stob
Verity Stob and the super subjunction
Excuse me, Miss, but your pronouns need upgrading
01 Jun 10:28 | 80
Stob
No stranger to the moleskin trouser
Not around the water cooler
11 Apr 10:42 | 15
Stob
In defence of Comic Sans
Comic Sans Relief? I already gave
31 Jan 11:12 | 104
Stob
The Girl with the NSObject Class Reference tattoo
Verity tackles Swedish noir
10 Jan 11:30 | 62
Stob
I was timeboxed in a holistic scrum
More lithe than agile
29 Nov 11:30 | 21
Columnists
Verity Stob faces execution, Wikipedia-style
Citation needed
05 Oct 14:17 |
Stob
Diary of an Overflow Addict
Upvote, accept
05 Oct 11:11 | 23
Stob
Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha
Delphi in a Discotheque
23 Aug 10:07 | 11
Stob
Lord Peter views the logfile
Top hole, Bunter
26 Jul 09:02 | 26
Stob
A Rumba with a Roomba
Verity puts her feet up
21 Jun 08:32 | 35
Stob
I Married a Monster from ISO 9000
We're getting harried in the morning
24 May 09:02 | 25
Stob
First among SQLs
COBOL for lawyers
20 Apr 11:03 | 33
Stob
Is it ta-ta for Flash?
Interview with a Flash Harriet
01 Mar 11:58 | 34
Stob
Verity Stob's App Store
Immature Content
18 Jan 11:32 | 12
Stob
A Deadlock Holiday
What to do now there's no Moore's Law?
10 Dec 11:26 | 34
Stob
Abigail's Windows 7 Party
Cry if you want to
14 Sep 10:31 | 52
Stob
Not now darling I'm twirping
Verity determines to enhance her social graph
24 Aug 10:17 | 30
Stob
Don't call me Ishmael
Choosing a name for your new PC
22 Jun 08:02 | 176
Stob
An unthinking programmer's guide to the new C++
Raising the standard
07 May 11:16 | 74
Stob
Come on, Sir Tim!
Celebrating Web 2(no point)0
17 Mar 09:35 | 23
