Actor couldn’t understand why computer didn’t work when the curtain came down
On Call When tech support collides with Halloween, the results are scary
Columnists31 Oct 2025 | 100
Columnists
New boss took charge of project code and sent two billion unwanted emails
On Call Techie summoned at 02:00 AM to sort things out sent another 2 billion trying to fix it
Columnists24 Oct 2025 | 103
Company that made power systems for servers didn’t know why its own machines ran out of juice
Who, Me? Oh … you mean we shouldn’t press that button?
Columnists20 Oct 2025 | 100
We're all going to be paying AI's Godzilla-sized power bills
Opinion Even if you never use it, you'll be paying for it thanks to datacenters' never-ending hunger for electricity
Columnists13 Oct 2025 | 98
I was a part-time DBA. After this failover foul-up, they hired a full-time DBA
Who, Me? At last, enough hours in the day to RTFM
Columnists01 Sep 2025 | 76
How Windows 11 is breaking from its bedrock and moving away
Opinion The once mighty Wintel supercontinent is cracking in more ways than you might think
Columnists29 Aug 2025 | 128
Techie fooled a panicked daemon and manipulated time itself to get servers in sync
On Call Network Time Protocol sometimes needs help from a temporal cops
Columnists29 Aug 2025 | 134
The air is hissing out of the overinflated AI balloon
Opinion Are tech giants getting nervous? They should be
Columnists25 Aug 2025 | 238
CIO made a dangerous mistake and ordered his security team to implement it
Who, Me? Firewall pro enjoyed European travel to fix the fallout
Columnists25 Aug 2025 | 75
Basic projector repair job turns into armed encounter at secret bunker
On Call Escort's forgotten cap left techie facing rifles and a debrief
Columnists22 Aug 2025 | 187
The UK Online Safety Act is about censorship, not safety
opinion US policymakers should take heed, says the Electronic Frontier Foundation
Columnists21 Aug 2025 | 139
Tech support team won pay rise for teaching customers how to RTFM
On Call Documentation was so substantial, staff measured it in feet
Columnists08 Aug 2025 | 146
I just deleted my entire social media presence before visiting the US – and I'm a citizen
Column In 2025, social media has moved from self-expression to self-entrapment
Columnists21 Jul 2025 | 235
Under-qualified sysadmin crashed Amazon.com for 3 hours with a typo
Who, Me? 'This, many considered, was bad'
Columnists21 Jul 2025 | 80
‘I nearly died after flying thousands of miles to install a power cord for the NSA’
On Call This job was a car wreck in more than one way
Columnists18 Jul 2025 | 108
Junior developer's code worked in tests, destroyed data in production
Who, Me? For the lack of a little documentation, two techies did a lot of accidental damage
Columnists14 Jul 2025 | 73
Techie traveled 4 hours to fix software that worked perfectly until a new hire used it
On Call Sometimes the 'R' in RTFM stands for 'Remember'
Columnists20 Jun 2025 | 182
Culture comes first in cybersecurity. That puts cybersecurity on the front line in the culture wars
Opinion 'Trust us, we're from Trumpland' may not help Microsoft as much as it hopes
Columnists06 May 2025 | 44
Teens maintained a mainframe and it went about as well as you'd imagine
Who, Me? Fake it till you make it doesn't cut it for mission-critical workloads
Columnists05 May 2025 | 96
Users hated a new app – maybe so much they filed a fake support call
On Call Sysadmin sent on road trip that required a lot of time doing nothing
Columnists11 Apr 2025 | 98
Popular
SpaceX and Musk called on to rescue China's Shenzhou-20 crew
Technical and political obstacles block collaboration following suspected space debris strike on craft
De-duplicating the desktops: Let's come together, right now
opinion Here come old FlatPak, it comes grooving up slowly...
Techie ran up $40,000 bill trying to download a driver
Who, Me? In the dialup age, small mistakes could cost big money
Data breach at Chinese infosec firm reveals cyber-weapons and target list
Asia In Brief PLUS: India’s tech services exports growing fast; South Korea puts the bite on TXT spam; NTT gets into autonomous vehicles; and more!
Windows 11 26H1 is coming ... for new processors only
It's OK to look: New Canary channel build supports specific silicon while 26H2 remains the main 2026 update
Microsoft teases agents that become ‘independent users within the workforce’
Licensing expert worries they’ll be out of control on day one
Cisco creating new security model using 30 years of data describing cyber-dramas and saves
Exclusive Doubles parameters to over 17 billion, to detect threats and recommend actions
AI slop hits new high as fake country artist hits #1 on Billboard digital songs chart
It sounds a lot like everything else
Big Tech's control freak era is breaking itself apart
Opinion AI slop, Trump tantrums, and zero humans answering phones
Louvre's pathetic passwords belong in a museum, just not that one
Infosec in brief PLUS: CISA layoffs continue; Lawmakers criticize camera security; China to execute scammers; And more
STORIES
Please sir, may we have some Moore? Doesn't look that way
Opinion We're on a roadmap to nowhere. Come on inside
Columnists07 Apr 2025 | 31
Dev loudly complained about older colleague, who retired not long after
Who, Me? The graybeard wasn't doing a great job and morale improved once he left. How would you handle this?
Columnists07 Apr 2025 | 133
Microsoft's Euro-mandated File Explorer surgery shows 'less is more' is still a thing
Opinion Humble but with a huge history, the utility's privacy pare-back points to a productive possible future
Columnists24 Feb 2025 | 21
Untrained techie botched a big hardware sale by breaking client's ERP
Who, Me? 'If I wasn't already taking blood pressure meds, I'm sure I would not have survived'
Columnists24 Feb 2025 | 51
Developers feared large chaps carrying baseball bats could come to kneecap their ... test account?
Who, Me? A whole different kind of 'technical debt' turned into real-world trouble
Columnists20 Jan 2025 | 91
Why Google's Chrome monopoly won't crack anytime soon
Opinion Haven't we heard this story before?
Columnists23 Nov 2024 | 77
Huawei's farewell to Android isn't a marketing move, it's chess
Opinion HarmonyOS NEXT sounds dissonant until you get the theme
Columnists28 Oct 2024 | 126
The open secret of open washing – why companies pretend to be open source
Opinion Allowing pretenders to co-opt the term is bad for everyone
Columnists25 Oct 2024 | 45
Developer tried to dress for success, but ended up attired for an expensive outage
Who, Me? Debugging software on the waterfront is a strangely dangerous task
Columnists19 Aug 2024 | 160
Intel's processor failures: A cautionary tale of business vs engineering
Opinion Chipzilla taking some punches but could it stay down?
Columnists09 Aug 2024 | 94
The cybersecurity QA trifecta of fail that may burn down the world
Opinion Malware is often described as biology. It should be the other way around
Columnists05 Aug 2024 | 32
Techie's enthusiasm for decluttering fails to spark joy
Who, me? Thankfully, luck – and a handy greybeard – came to the rescue
Columnists06 May 2024 | 57
Time to study the classics: Vintage tech is the future of enterprise IT
Opinion Look back in wonder
Columnists16 Jan 2023 | 93
Killing trees with lasers isn’t cool, says Epson. So why are inkjets any better?
Imagine there's no printer drivers. It's easy if you can...
Columnists05 Dec 2022 | 121
Firefox points the way to eradicating one of the rudest words online: PDF
Comment The ghosts of dead trees haunt us still
Columnists24 Oct 2022 | 240
Rust is eating into our systems, and it's a good thing
Opinion Language wars, huh, what are they good for?
Columnists26 Sep 2022 | 124
The International Space Station will deorbit in glory. How's your legacy tech doing?
Opinion Your past projects may be a pain, but can they rain fiery death from above?
Columnists30 Aug 2022 | 101
You can never have too many backups. Also, you can never have too many backups
Who, Me? A Reg reader comes to appreciate the value of paper
Columnists29 Aug 2022 | 116
Big Tech is building the metaverse of its own dreams. You don't want to go there
Opinion No country for old menus
Columnists22 Aug 2022 | 105
We were promised integrated packages. Instead we got disintegrated apps
Something for the Weekend Not to mention the severely disadvantageous subscription model
Columnists19 Aug 2022 | 145
Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked
On Call We would have got away with it too, if hadn't been for your perfectly reasonable user request
Columnists29 Jul 2022 | 174
Dell and Ubuntu certify latest model of XPS 13 ultrabook
Computer giant's Project Sputnik extends to the 2022 model series
Columnists21 Jul 2022 | 19
Getting that syncing feeling after an Exchange restore
Who, Me? We've got the whole weekend. What could go wrong?
Columnists04 Jul 2022 | 83
Seriously, you do not want to make that cable your earth
On Call Network? What's that when it's at home?
Columnists20 May 2022 | 253
RISC-V needs more than an open architecture to compete
Opinion Arm shows us that even total domination doesn't always make stupid levels of money
Columnists16 May 2022 | 57
September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job
Who, Me? If I get in early and work hard, everyone will notice, right?
Columnists16 May 2022 | 64
Confirmation dialog Groundhog Day: I click OK and it keeps coming back
Something for the Weekend Yes/No/Cancel culture at its worst
Columnists13 May 2022 | 145
Your AI can't tell you it's lying if it thinks it's telling the truth. That's a problem
Opinion Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of ML? Er, nobody
Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 52
In IT, no good deed ever goes unpunished
Who, Me? When being helpful can mean being shown the door
Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 71
The month I worked for DEADHEAD: Yes, that was their job title
Something for the Weekend? We can't have that contractor making us look bad
Columnists01 Apr 2022 | 71
Beware the techie who takes things literally
Who, Me? 'If it works already, why pay' says the boss... because of course he does
Columnists21 Feb 2022 | 94
Food for thought on the return to the office
Something for the Weekend? Quality time with human beings? Nah. Gimme some free Monster Munch
Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 87
File suffixes: Who needs them? Well, this guy did
On Call He followed the instructions... blindly
Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 206
Nothing's working, and I've checked everything, so it must be YOUR fault
On Call Yes, but are you sure? Really sure?
Columnists07 Jan 2022 | 164
Halo Infinite ups the nostalgia factor for fans of the originals, but it's not without limits
The RPG 343 Industries brings open world to the long-running military sci-fi epic
Columnists05 Jan 2022 | 11
The year ahead in technology fail: You knew they were bad, now they're going to prove it
Opinion Stock up on schadenfreude, it may be 2022's most popular commodity
Columnists04 Jan 2022 | 79
Predictive Dirty Dozen: What will and won't happen in 2022 (unless it doesn’t/does)
Something for the Weekend, Sir? We confidently predict that the predictions in this article will turn out wrong
Columnists31 Dec 2021 | 211
Microsoft Paint + car park touchscreen = You already know where this is going
12BoC I'll just pay the- OH MY GOD
Columnists26 Dec 2021 | 56
Not the kind of note you want to see fluttering from an ATM
12BoC This won't buy me beer
Columnists25 Dec 2021 | 34
Who you gonna call? Premium numbers, but a not-so-premium service
On Call Let me take you back – way back – to 1998
Columnists24 Dec 2021 | 134
Log4j and Omicron: Brothers in harm, mothers of invention
Opinion That which does not kill us can still ruin our Christmas
Columnists20 Dec 2021 | 36
A smarter alternative to password recognition could be right in front of us: Unique, invisible, maybe even deadly
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Take your breath awayyyyyyyy
Columnists03 Dec 2021 | 81
New World: Grindy? Check. Repetitive? Check. Fun? We hate to say it... but check
The RPG Goddamn it, Jeff Bezos' lot can make a passable MMORPG after all
Columnists30 Oct 2021 | 31
Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone
Who, Me? Yet another thing that was really not better in the old days
Columnists11 Oct 2021 | 71
Get real: Say what you like about your app but don't be surprised if I trollsplain
Something for the Weekend, Sir? My next column will be written in spaaaaaace
Columnists08 Oct 2021 | 57
How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component
Who, Me? He's not just a Big Cheese. He's a very naughty boy
Columnists31 Aug 2021 | 69
When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Fixing laptops and solving UX conundra – all in a night’s work
Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 151
Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick
On Call When you have eliminated the impossible...
Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 163
Horizon Workrooms promises a virtual future of teal despair
Opinion Only one company can make VR so bad it makes MS Teams look good – Facebook
Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 42
Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?
Who, Me? The neverending battle betweeen youthful optimism and aged cyncism
Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 103
So the data centre's 'getting a little hot' – at 57°C, that's quite the understatement
On Call You know that thing that's supposed to put out the fire?
Columnists20 Aug 2021 | 102
Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device
Bork!Bork!Bork! An unexpected bork in the boarding area
Columnists11 Aug 2021 | 18
The web was done right the first time. An ancient 3D banana shows Microsoft does a lot right, too
Column It's wonderful that code written for Windows 3.1 still works well today
Columnists11 Aug 2021 | 136
How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware
Who, Me? Salesmen suffer after suspicious surfing
Columnists19 Jul 2021 | 71
The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nudge that potted plant a little to the left aaaaand… action!
Columnists09 Jul 2021 | 96
If HAL did digital signage. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that...
Bork!Bork!Bork! My God! It's full of Bork!
Columnists14 Jun 2021 | 17
Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise
Who, Me? At least nobody said 'watch this!'
Columnists07 Jun 2021 | 116
How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful
Something for the Weekend, Sir? I don’t care if the football’s on, we’ll have to watch whatever the TV wants us to
Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 148
Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance
On Call You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 150
Nobody expects the borkish bank-wisition: When I said I wanted some notes from the ATM, I never thought I'd see...
Bork!Bork!Bork! ...the vast emptiness of Notepad
Columnists28 May 2021 | 16
Nature is healing: Shhh. It's a lesser spotted Pi Bork nesting behind the bushes at IKEA
Bork!Bork!Bork! Hålp, I äm stuck in emergency möde
Columnists25 May 2021 | 25
Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Because our golf-obsessed boss has wandered off fondling his balls
Columnists14 May 2021 | 86
Beijing steps on Alibaba's Ant Group by forcing it to submit to same regulation as banks
Requires Alipay to open to competition but stops short of ordering company break up
Columnists13 Apr 2021 | 9
How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash
Something for the Weekend, Sir? All inventions should be demonstrated by a puppet doing a Tommy Cooper impression
Columnists09 Apr 2021 | 70
A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?
Who, Me? Halt and catch fire
Columnists05 Apr 2021 | 177
Easily distracted by too many apps, too many meetings, and too much asparagus
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nothing like a steaming bowl of freshly picked spaghetti
Columnists02 Apr 2021 | 75
Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem
On Call Register reader finds that some Apple fans are... not very bright?
Columnists02 Apr 2021 | 195
A Code War has replaced The Cold War. And right now we’re losing it
Column There’s always someone to blame for bad infosec, but never a willingness to make meaningful change
Columnists10 Mar 2021 | 85
Stob's vital message to Britain's IT nation: And no, it's not about that
Stob It's actually another Huawei down the 5G antennas
Devops01 Apr 2020 | 28
Verity Stob is 'Disgusted of HG Wells': Time, gentlemen, please
Stob Drinking the Kool-Aid outside the box
Columnists28 Jan 2020 | 58
In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze
Stob My, what beautiful curly braces you have
Devops27 Nov 2019 | 117
The Pi who loved me: Licensed to SSL
Stob Wherein Verity is troubled by a curious spam
Devops16 Jul 2019 | 29
Programmers' Question Time: Tiptoe through the tuples
Stob Addressing the pro-horticulture/anti-nerdiculture bias
Devops23 May 2019 | 38
Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary
Stob Chronicles of Delphi scribe podcasts, er, scribbles her musings
Columnists23 Jan 2019 | 52
That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you
Stob It's sing-along-a-Stob time
Devops14 Nov 2018 | 20
30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days
Stob Happy anniversary, readers, from the original Git it girl
Devops20 Sep 2018 | 143
The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass
Stob Bug behaviour in the wild
Columnists21 May 2018 | 36
There are 10 types of people in the world, but there is only one Melvyn
Stob Verity puts a Bragg in your shell-like
Columnists28 Mar 2018 | 42
2001: A Stob Odyssey
Open the chuffing pod bay doors yourself, Dave
Devops28 Nov 2017 | 22
Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers
Stob Lest we forget
Devops19 Sep 2017 | 56
Biting the hand that feeds IT
