Ploppr: The #VultureTRENDING App of the Now

This organic crowd sourced viro- social fertiliser just got REAL

#VultureTRENDING We here at #VultureTRENDING are quite literally shitting in our pants with excitement over the latest app startup to take the internet by storm - Ploppr!

The idea is incredibly simple: like all brilliant sharing economy ideas it seeks to put people who have something together with people who need that something.

All over Britain's cities today, organic vegetable gardeners, urban allotment cooperatives and other microagriculture practitioners have a crying need for fertiliser. They can't use chemical fertilisers, because that isn't organic: and conventional animal ordure from horses, cattle etc is typically difficult to source in an urban micro-agro context. Even if conventional organic fertilisers can be obtained, they must generally be shipped in by vehicle, adding an undesirable carbon burden.

What if there was a way that fully organic animal produced fertiliser approved by the Soil Ass. could be delivered right to your door, on demand in near real time, by someone who was walking past it anyway?

There is such a way - the Ploppr way.

Consider the problem from the other side. Who hasn't at one time or another found themselves travelling along a street and suddenly been struck by a crying need for a dump?

Nowadays, though, rather than trying to blag your way into a pub lavatory or a portaloo - and wasting nature's precious offering into the sewers - you simply get out your phone and fire up Ploppr. The interactive map instantly reveals the location of nearby organic urban micro-agro facilities. You swipe right, offering a delivery of fertiliser.

Immediately, the local urban microfarms and cooperatives are alerted. Either they or their pre-set tailored algorithms participate in an instant digital micro-auction, and the bids for your delivery are presented to you ranked by price - or in the case of an urgent time-sensitive situation, you can sort by distance. Ploppr takes a trifling 90 per cent commission for setting up the deal.

Moments later, you're presenting yourself at the door of the winning microholding. A secure NFC exchange takes place, validating identities and payments ("bump to dump") and a moment later you're in the back-garden cabbage patch with your trousers down. At a stroke, Ploppr has scored another goal against Peak Phosphorus, staved off needless carbon emissions and struck a blow against the senseless waste of precious water that occurs in flush lavatories every day.

Ploppr is "fully developed and ready to go": that's certain from Twitter and the socialz where we at #VultureTRENDING learn everything we know. However it's not yet available on the app stores, nor can you back it on Kickstarter. Rather, we understand it's in a pre-prerollout buzzbuild beta stage following initial VC backing, with the current team looking to pivot the project to new champions who - along with substantial investment backfocused into the conceptioneering phase - would bring the temporal commitment needed to pilot it through some minor regulatory issues and on to an almost certain extremely lucrative full rollout and IPO.

For full details, interested investors should contact the well-known rainmaker angel behind the dev team. ®

Bootnote

FULL DISCLOSURE: #VultureTRENDING is an incredibly exciting new initiative from Vulture Publishing intended to harvest the #zeitgeistgasm and #crowdwisdom for dazzling new insights into the digital revolution. We are proud to admit that it was inspired by similar BBC initiatives.

That's it for now folks!

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#VultureTRENDING and Vulture Publishing FCB cannot comment on any financial relationship with Bong Ventures VBA except to confirm that no such relationship exists within the jurisdictions of the UK, USA and EU and that both companies comply fully with the laws of the territories they are incorporated in. Despite this we can accept no responsibility for investment decisions that may be taken as a result of viewing or consuming #VultureTRENDING analysis.