FBI redefines length of century

2007 whisked off in black helicopter

Those among who feel that the bog-standard century is just, well, too damn long will be delighted to learn that the FBI has decided to shorten it by one year by effectively cancelling 2007 and cutting straight to 2008:

Hmmm. Quite what the Feds have done with 2007, we know not. Readers are invited to speculate on whether it's simply being kept in stasis for later emergency deployment, or currently forming the basis of an anti-Russki missile shield temporal weapon. Whatever the truth, we can detect the unmistakable distant sound of black helicopters...®