Let's make laptops from radium. How's that for planned obsolescence? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Come on, guys, get a half-life Bootnotes24 May 2019 | 280
Polygraph knows all: You've been using our user feedback form Something for the Weekend, Sir? Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies... Personal Tech17 May 2019 | 84
AI has automated everything including this headline curly bracket semicolon Something for the Weekend, Sir? Can someone have a look at that code again? Science10 May 2019 | 132
A day in the life of London seen through spam and weak Wi-Fi Something for the Weekend, Sir? You've read through the terms and conditions, yes? Security03 May 2019 | 163
Thank you, your DNA data will help secure your… oh dear, we've lost that too Something for the Weekend, Sir? Er, do you have your original password written down somewhere? Security26 Apr 2019 | 76
Motion detectors: say hello, wave goodbye and… flushhhhhh Something for the Weekend, Sir? Some things are better left without a video greeting Software12 Apr 2019 | 165
All's fair in love and war when tech treats you like an infant Something for the Weekend, Sir? No way you're never gonna shake me... Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby Personal Tech05 Apr 2019 | 176
Lip-reading smart speakers: Just what no one always wanted Something for the Weekend, Sir? Enjoy the silence... while you still can Personal Tech29 Mar 2019 | 83
How many Reg columnists does it take to turn off a lightbulb? Something for the Weekend, Sir? 'New technology baffles pissed old hack' (© Private Eye) Personal Tech15 Mar 2019 | 176
What happens when security devices are insecure? Choose the nuclear option Something for the Weekend, Sir? Confuse those cyber attacks by placing a bucket of water on every floor Security08 Mar 2019 | 101
Why are there never free power sockets when my Y-fronts need charging? Something for the Weekend, Sir? If I had my way, I'd have sparks flying from your underwear Personal Tech01 Mar 2019 | 136
Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah? Something for the Weekend, Sir? It's not big and it's not clever. Well, not clever, anyway AI + ML22 Feb 2019 | 186
Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams Something for the Weekend, Sir? JR Hartley is my bitch Storage15 Feb 2019 | 213
How I got horizontal with a gimp and untangled his cables Something for the Weekend, Sir? Not a euphemism. I really did this Networks08 Feb 2019 | 123
Using WhatsApp for your business comms? It's either that or reinstall Lotus Notes Something for the Weekend, Sir? Employers won't provide proper comms and insist it's YOUR fault Software01 Feb 2019 | 127
Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know Something for the Weekend, Sir? Think of the ones you leave behind Security25 Jan 2019 | 127
I used to be a dull John Doe. Thanks to Huawei, I'm now James Bond! Something for the Weekend, Sir? We'll know for sure when Huawei reveals a shoe-shaped smartphone Security18 Jan 2019 | 92
CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz Something for the Weekend, Sir? It's not the messiah, it's just very naughty metadata Personal Tech11 Jan 2019 | 87
My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish Something for the Weekend, Sir? Simply the best! Worse than all the rest! Personal Tech04 Jan 2019 | 219
Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password Something for the Weekend, Sir? We won't need security experts when there's no security left Security25 Dec 2018 | 109
Take my advice and stop using Rubik's Cubes to prove your intelligence Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let the Blue Peter vs Magpie wars recommence! On-Prem30 Nov 2018 | 89
Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid Something for the Weekend, Sir? Judging by all the emails I'm getting, I think it is already Personal Tech23 Nov 2018 | 145
Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location Something for the Weekend, Sir? Swipe – open toilet door – and swipe again Security16 Nov 2018 | 144
My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day Something for the Weekend, Sir? But no more Bradford Exchange collector plates, I beg you Personal Tech09 Nov 2018 | 259
Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity Something for the Weekend, Sir? A scientist on a banknote? Stick that up your Darcy Science02 Nov 2018 | 198
Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere Something for the Weekend, Sir? Those darn webcam hackers are at it again, maybe Security26 Oct 2018 | 201
Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s Something for the Weekend, Sir? 'Do not disturb' mode isn't for you, it's for the rest of us Personal Tech19 Oct 2018 | 217
Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID Something for the Weekend, Sir? So says Alex... Graham... Dan... Personal Tech12 Oct 2018 | 272
Where can I hide this mic? I know, shove it down my urethra Something for the Weekend, Sir? Not sure I like where you've put the speaker Personal Tech05 Oct 2018 | 88
Why are sat-nav walking directions always so hopeless? Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'm a nonentity, get me out of here Software28 Sep 2018 | 249
How an augmented reality tourist guide tried to break my balls Something for the Weekend, Sir? ... and displayed the results for everyone to see Science14 Sep 2018 | 84
Post-silly season blues leave me bereft of autonomous robot limbs Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nothing to look forward to now… except perhaps the 1980s Science07 Sep 2018 | 58
Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker Something for the Weekend, Sir? Take it off! Cover it up! I don't know what I want any more! Personal Tech27 Jul 2018 | 267
Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Devising complex new passwords is character-building Security20 Jul 2018 | 147
No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Don't panic but you might just be French Personal Tech13 Jul 2018 | 252
Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Amazon CEO is pruning my roses Bootnotes06 Jul 2018 | 100
Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out Something for the Weekend, Sir? Standing on a dusty highway, waving my nozzle in the breeze Bootnotes29 Jun 2018 | 164
In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying Something for the Weekend, Sir? Selling England by the pound Bootnotes08 Jun 2018 | 255
Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest Something for the Weekend, Sir? Trashy ideas return to whence they came Science01 Jun 2018 | 77
Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse Something for the Weekend, Sir? Don't trust consumers with their own data Software25 May 2018 | 102
Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom Something for the Weekend, Sir? You can learn a lot about a biz from its bogs Bootnotes18 May 2018 | 217
Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid Something for the Weekend, Sir? If you find our user interfaces unintuitive, that's YOUR problem, chum Software11 May 2018 | 138
Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you Something for the Weekend, Sir? Sorry I slept in but my computer didn't make me go to bed early Software04 May 2018 | 123
Can't log into your TSB account? Well, it's your own fault for trying Something for the Weekend, Sir? Ten minutes of your life could be mine if you read this slooooowwwly Software27 Apr 2018 | 105
There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick Something for the Weekend, Sir? Grumble grumble where's me suet pudding in Bovril etc Bootnotes20 Apr 2018 | 320
Best thing about a smart toilet? You can take your mobile in without polluting it Something for the Weekend, Sir? It really makes you sit and think, doesn't it? Bootnotes13 Apr 2018 | 90
My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours? Something for the Weekend, Sir? It can be cold and lonely at the tip Bootnotes06 Apr 2018 | 112
Autonomous vehicle claims are just a load of hot air… and here's why Something for the Weekend, Sir? Allow me to show my moon to the balloon Science30 Mar 2018 | 161
Zucker for history: What I learnt about Facebook 600 years ago Something for the Weekend, Sir? Zuckerberg, Gutenberg, let's call the whole thing off Software23 Mar 2018 | 83
A ghoulish tale of pigs, devs and docs revived from the dead Something for the Weekend, Sir? Dr Frankenstein had it all sewn up, you know On-Prem09 Mar 2018 | 64
Another day, another meeting, another £191bn down the pan Something for the Weekend, Sir? Please allow me to introduce myself (woo-woo) On-Prem02 Mar 2018 | 97
IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit Something for the Weekend, Sir? Rolling out (and scraping) the barrel of computing history On-Prem23 Feb 2018 | 162
Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers Something for the Weekend, Sir? A blinga, a blanga, a bippety bop, I'm going down to the record shop YEAH! Bootnotes09 Feb 2018 | 177
Web searching died the day they invented SEO Something for the Weekend, Sir? The truth is out there but you'll never find it Networks02 Feb 2018 | 164
Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither Something for the Weekend, Sir? Celestial choirs are coming to your screen soon Software26 Jan 2018 | 167
Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use? Something for the Weekend, Sir? Just put it under the desk along with all the others Personal Tech19 Jan 2018 | 248
Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do Something for the Weekend, Sir? Some people will believe anything Science12 Jan 2018 | 114
The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'? Something for the Weekend, Sir? My computer's crashed! I've lost everythi… oh, never mind, it's working again On-Prem05 Jan 2018 | 102
10 years of the Kindle and the curious incident of a dog in the day-time Something for the Weekend, Sir? Feel the full weight of Jerusalem, base cur! Personal Tech24 Nov 2017 | 75
It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers! Something for the Weekend, Sir? Discoursing Descartes with my robotic pet Science17 Nov 2017 | 75
The day I almost pinned my tushie as a Google Maps landmark Something for the Weekend, Sir? My blue jean contents are disruptive SaaS10 Nov 2017 | 50
Those IT gadget freebies you picked up this year? They make AWFUL Christmas presents Something for the Weekend, Sir? Cyber Monday is coming but I still feel so green Bootnotes03 Nov 2017 | 111